A Year Ago

A year ago, I was in a dark place.

I'd met Trevor a couple months before, but he'd never called me, and I wasn't sure if he'd lost interest or if he was busy finishing up his master's degree in Boulder. (Thank goodness it turned out to be the second option!)

I was navigating yet another quarter life crisis and trying to figure out what I needed to change to feel like I was progressing. I considered a PhD, and even purchased the books to study for taking the GRE again, but... I realized that truthfully, that wasn't what I wanted to do with my next five years.

I'd finally saved up enough for a down payment on a home, but every time I tried to get serious about house shopping, I just didn't feel good about it. Finally I prayed about it and felt pretty firmly that I shouldn't be buying a house just yet. So there went that option.

The bright spot in my life was my sweet little baby Molly.

Look how tiny she used to be!

Mother's Day came around. Shauna and I went to church with Mom and Dad--we were spending the day together as a family to support Mom for Mother's Day. I... didn't take it well. I felt like I was surrounded on all sides with women my age married for years with multiple kids. (Cuz... I mean, I was.) Salt in the wound.... the life I'd always longed for that seemed forever out of reach.

I came home and cried and cried. It was really embarrassing, because it was obviously putting a damper on my mom's special day. But my mother was really patient with me. She told me she thought that my husband was closer than I thought. Of course, we'd all said that before about my husband, and he hadn't showed. So I wasn't terribly optimistic (but she did help me feel better).

What I didn't know, and what I had no way of knowing, was that I was exactly one week away from going on my first date with Trevor.

It was a good thing I hadn't applied for any PhD programs--I needed to be here to date him. It was a good thing I hadn't bought a house--that meant we've been able to pick one out together, and build it with a family in mind. God had been reassuring me for years that everything would work out... and finally, it all came together.

I guess I am writing this to say... don't give up. Whatever trials you are facing, hang in there. Things can and will get better. You may not know when or how... and it may not be as soon as you are hoping for. But sometimes, the answer to your prayers really is just right around the corner.

As my cousin Natalie always says, it will all work out.