I was only 13 when 9/11 happened. Of course at the time I was shocked and sad about the great loss of life that day. But I find the older I get, the better I understand just how terrible 9/11 really was.
Last night Trevor and I watched a documentary called "9/11 Calls from the Tower." The documentary interviews several families who lost loved ones, and we listen to the last recordings of their voices--often voicemails left to say goodbye to loved ones, but also 911 calls, and audio from the fire fighters as they tried to rescue who they could. It's so powerful, and terribly, terribly heartbreaking. The anguish in their voices as they say goodbye... The fear... One call to 911 ends abruptly with screams when the tower collapses.
One story that really struck me was that of Orio Palmer, a firefighter who managed to find one staircase in the south tower that made it up past the impact zone. He reached the scene of impact and immediately calls for more help to rescue and treat the injured survivors there. Unbeknownst to him... the tower was just minutes away from collapsing. Oh man.... Just picturing that, these suffering people so relieved to see a firefighter arrive to help. His team rushing up the stairs so they could help too. The brief flicker of hope that some of these people could make it out, that the firefighters could save them, that those above the impact area had a path out of the building...
And then. The tower came down. All those people perished after all. That is a truly haunting thought.
Watching the documentary lead to me rewatching the original 9/11 news reports from that actual day... and then watching all the survivor testimonies I could find. I learned more about 9/11 today than I've ever known, I think. And... it didn't leave me in a very happy place, let me tell you. Really studying stories of the horrors people saw and experienced, really pondering the stories of people who couldn't escape and knew they were doomed.... Ooof.
I never want to forget that happened that day. I never want to forget those who were lost. But maybe next year I can find a more positive way to remember.
