At General Conference, Elder Brook D. Hales of the Seventy gave an awesome talk on answers to prayer. He said that "Sometimes our most earnest and worthy desires are not answered in the way we hope, but we find that God has greater blessings in store."
That really hit me. Sometimes when our prayers aren't answered right away, it's because God has a better plan for us than we are hoping for ourselves.
Lately I've been pondering the timing of Trevor and I finding each other. I'd expected to get married a lot younger than 30. I went to BYU anxiously hoping to be a "BYU success story" and find my eternal companion. (Also, to get my education!! Despite the common assumption about girls in my major, I was not there just to find a husband, but I did hope that it might happen along the way.) Four years went by... No husband. I remember spending my graduation ceremony with a friend of mine who experienced life the way I'd hoped I would--she had a crush on a cute boy during her freshman year, she wrote him faithfully during his mission, and when he got back, he finally asked her out. Soon they were married and tackling college life together. I remember at the end of our graduation, my friend and I went in search of our families. Her husband ran up to her to congratulate her, and she flung herself into his arms. There it was--my dream, playing out for someone else. Meanwhile I had yet to find a serious boyfriend.
But what I didn't know then, what I couldn't know, is that my dream guy was four and a half years younger than me. A month or so after I graduated from BYU, Trevor graduated from high school. We couldn't be together yet then. God knew that, and so He tried to counsel me to be patient and wait for the right guy and the right time.
I didn't understand. I was so impatient. Over and over I prayed to know what I could do to find my husband. I promised that I would do anything. Most of the time the answer I got back was, "Really? Anything?" "YES! Anything!" "Then... keep waiting!" AHHHH! I hated that answer so much.
All along though, God had a plan for me. He knows the end from the beginning. He knew that Trevor and I would meet one day and have our happily ever after, but it wasn't the right time just yet. Trevor had a mission to serve, and then a couple of degrees to finish. Trevor's aerospace program was pretty grueling. He didn't have much time to date while he was studying.
Within a week of him graduating, we were dating. The time was finally right. And he was worth every second of anxious waiting. I love him so much, and I'm so grateful that we are together.
I know there are many more challenges in life ahead. I'm hoping that I can remember this lesson--trust God's timing over my own. His plans are greater than ours, and He wants what is best for us. We have to trust that His vision is greater than our own.
Monday, April 15, 2019
Thursday, April 4, 2019
Lost at Sea
Crazy dream last night.
Trevor and I lived on an island in a chain of islands. I was on a Relief Society committee (Relief Society is the women's organization in our church). There were 9 of us, including a couple women I know from my real life. We wanted to go visit the sisters in our congregation, but they lived on multiple islands in our chain, so the only way to go was by boat.
Our boat was small--basically just a big canoe, although we didn't use paddles to move it (motorized?). I have a terrible fear of drowning so I didn't really like traveling in the boat, but I did it. We made our visits. Finally, towards the end of our journey, I got off on an island to run an errand or something. The other sisters continued without me. And... that was the last time anyone ever saw them. On their way to their next destination, they were captured and kidnapped by pirates. A ransom note was sent, but that was it.
Then the dream fast forwarded, and it was 2 or 3 months after the kidnapping. There was still no sign of the women, and no one knew what had happened to them. Were they still alive? Where were they? I plagued by survivor's guilt. I desperately wanted to find them and I thought about them all the time, but there was nothing I could do. I kept talking to Trevor about how scary it was that I was almost taken too, that it was a 100% certainty that I would have been kidnapped if I hadn't decided to get off when I did. I couldn't believe that I'd come so close, and I was relieved I was safe, but also feeling guilty that I was safe and the rest were lost.
My dreams can be so random sometimes! I wonder what triggered this one?
Trevor and I lived on an island in a chain of islands. I was on a Relief Society committee (Relief Society is the women's organization in our church). There were 9 of us, including a couple women I know from my real life. We wanted to go visit the sisters in our congregation, but they lived on multiple islands in our chain, so the only way to go was by boat.
Our boat was small--basically just a big canoe, although we didn't use paddles to move it (motorized?). I have a terrible fear of drowning so I didn't really like traveling in the boat, but I did it. We made our visits. Finally, towards the end of our journey, I got off on an island to run an errand or something. The other sisters continued without me. And... that was the last time anyone ever saw them. On their way to their next destination, they were captured and kidnapped by pirates. A ransom note was sent, but that was it.
Then the dream fast forwarded, and it was 2 or 3 months after the kidnapping. There was still no sign of the women, and no one knew what had happened to them. Were they still alive? Where were they? I plagued by survivor's guilt. I desperately wanted to find them and I thought about them all the time, but there was nothing I could do. I kept talking to Trevor about how scary it was that I was almost taken too, that it was a 100% certainty that I would have been kidnapped if I hadn't decided to get off when I did. I couldn't believe that I'd come so close, and I was relieved I was safe, but also feeling guilty that I was safe and the rest were lost.
My dreams can be so random sometimes! I wonder what triggered this one?
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