10 Year High School Reunion

So, yesterday was my 10 year high school reunion. 10 YEARS. How crazy is that?

I mean, high school does seem like it was a long time ago... but even so, that blows my mind.

We met up at Palmer Park. If you know the park, it was easy to find the pavilion. I didn't know the park. I came from the wrong entrance and drove around for about 10 minutes before I finally found the right place. And even then, Hayley and I almost drove past it, because the pavilion was decorated for a little kid's Batman themed birthday. I could see a group of kids gathered around a Batman pinata, and there was a bouncy house set up next to it and everything. So we thought that couldn't possibly be our reunion--but I parked and hiked over to check things out, to at least find out the name of the pavilion in the hopes that I could figure out where we really needed to be.

And I found a couple people from Rampart Class of '06 hanging out there. They politely let the birthday party kids know that we'd reserved the pavilion--we didn't rush them out, because we didn't want to ruin the party. So with all that, it took about an hour for things to kick off. It was an awkward hour, with the birthday party, and with only a few people from our class standing around and waiting for more people to show up. A couple more trickled in, but... it was a very small affair, haha.

It got better once we ate lunch together. We all fit around one picnic table and talked and caught up. Some of us didn't even know each other in high school. :) But the ones that I did know... I don't know, there's just something special about hanging out with someone who knew you as a child/teen. Even if they didn't know me well back then, they still know things about me that no one else will ever know. There's a special connection there that you just can't fabricate with anyone else.

It came up what advice we would give our 18 year old selves if we could go back in time. I was surprised to realize... I don't have any regrets from the last 10 years. Sure, I made some mistakes in that time, but I learned lessons from those mistakes that made the experience worthwhile. Life didn't turn out as I hoped or planned in many ways, but it never does for anyone. That wasn't my fault. All things considered... life has turned out pretty well. I may not be a wife and mother like I wanted, but it turns out being a successful career woman isn't so bad either. :) I've had opportunities I wouldn't have had as a married mother, and I think it's okay to embrace that and be grateful for them. That's something I've struggled with sometimes... If I'd sought out those opportunities rather than marriage/motherhood, that would be one thing. But that's not what happened... those opportunities are what has happened in my life while I've been waiting. It's okay to be happy about them--actually, I probably should be happy about them.

Exciting News

So.... I got an interesting email today.

A couple years ago, I published a research article called "Examining the Early Evidence for Self-directed Marriage and Relationship Education: A Meta-analytic Study" in the Journal of Family Relations.

Today, I received word that the National Council on Family Relations would like to include my article in the next edition of their Family Life Education textbook... A textbook I used in a couple classes during my time at BYU.

 

 

I may be a little bit excited. :)

BYU Inauguration

Yesterday I had the chance to go to the BYU Inauguration ceremony for the new BYU President, Kevin Worthen. Since BYU is a Church school, the First Presidency and Quorum of Twelve Apostles are all on the board of trustees. The entire First Presidency came, as well as Elder Nelson (he conducted), Elder Oaks, and Elder Holland (since they were past BYU Presidents). The Relief Society General President and the Young Women's General President were there too.

Shauna, Kristie, and I managed to get seats in the front row off to the side. The First Presidency and Elder Nelson came in the entrance right beside us--and all the General Authorities exited through that door later, so they all walked past just a few feet away! Shauna got a video, I'll have to see if she'll send me a copy to share.

After the GAs came President Cecil O. Samuelson and his wife, Sharon, came right past us. Pres. Samuelson has been President as long as I've been in Provo. He's always had a great love for BYU and all of the students here. I will miss him. As he walked out, the students gave him a round of applause for all of his service. I admit I teared up a little bit watching him go.

But I know the new President is called of God. He gave an amazing speech. I know he'll be an excellent President.

Adventures in Florida

This last week I had the chance to go to the American Psychological Association's national convention to present a paper on work-family issues. One of my co-authors and friends Jeffrey Hammond came with me. We flew into Orlando on Wednesday, presented Thursday, and flew back on Friday morning. It was a quick trip but we still managed to have fun. :)

First, the conference. It was HUGE! I couldn't get over how many people were there, and it was spread out over multiple ginormous conference center places.

 Our presentation went pretty well, I think! It was my first paper presentation at a professional conference, so I was a little nervous going in, but it all worked out. :)

After the convention, we headed over to Cocoa Beach, which is near Cape Canaveral. We could see the NASA building out in the distance as we drove along. First we stopped at Ron Jon's Surf Shop to pick up some trip souvenirs. (I got a cheap pair of flip flops since I'd forgotten to bring any... and a cute little sand dollar pendant necklace too). Then we headed to the beach! I wish I had pictures to share... Maybe I can put some up later. We got some, but they were all on Jeff's camera. Jeff taught me how to play paddle ball (kinda like ping pong or tennis but just on the beach, and the ball doesn't really bounce on the sand so you have to keep it in the air). I'm not the most athletically gifted person but I got better as we went along. Jeff told me I did pretty good for a girl, haha. Turns out paddle ball is especially fun to play if you're out in the water.

When we got hungry, we drove over to Downtown Disney. It was PACKED. I can only imagine what the theme park is like this time of year! We went to Rainforest Cafe for dinner. We got there around 9 I think, but we didn't get in until 9:40 (I guess that's not too bad). Rainforest Cafe is fun. It's decorated like a rainforest (okay, okay, I know, duh, right?) with leaves and flowers hanging from every inch of the ceiling. There are displays of animatronic critters here and there. Every so often they move around and make noise.

We sat by the elephants.

Every twenty minutes or so there is a "rainstorm"-the lights dim, thunder roars, and all the animals freak out. It's pretty cool. Oh, and also there are some giant aquariums scattered around... We got to sit right next to this one. Since we were at a Disney park (well, I'm guessing that's why...), all the "Finding Nemo" kinds of fish were inside. We saw Nemo, Dory, Bubbles, and Gil.

 I could never get over how green Florida is. There are SO MANY tall trees every where! I felt like I was in a jungle. The beach was so beautiful too! The water is a lot warmer than the Pacific Ocean (Jeff says it's about 15 degrees warmer on average) which is nice. Also the beaches tend to be flatter, so you can wade out farther before you get to the really deep ocean part (a big plus if you're not the strongest swimmer, like me!)

I had a blast on the trip! I just wish it could have lasted longer. Someday I hope I can go back again and stay for a while and just play!

Updates!

So the last couple weeks have been pretty eventful!

This happened:

Yep, two years of hard work have officially paid off. I am a master of Marriage, Family, and Human Development! Haha, funny story on that... For my last class (Outreach in Family Life Education) we had a chance to be interviewed by the communications students on our "areas of expertise". The communications professor introduced me to my interviewer by calling me a "marriage preparation expert." The girl (happily married and a couple months away from delivering her first child) asked, "Wait, you're not married? How can you be an expert on marriage preparation if you're not married?" Hey, first of all, I wasn't the one who said I was an expert... that was the communications professor! And second of all, I DO know all about marriage preparation-I'm probably better versed in that than some people who have been married for a while and started to forget the preparation stage! :)

After graduation, I successfully moved back to Colorado. I have loved being with my family again! I've taken things kind of easy the last couple weeks, but now we're kicking it into high gear as we get ready to move to a new house later this month.

In other exciting news, last night this happened:

We fulfilled a years-long dream of seeing the Wicked musical!!! It was AMAZING! It way surpassed my expectations. The plot is awesome-I love how they tie everything into the original Wizard of Oz story. The music was excellent-no one ever missed a note! The sets were spectacular. I want to go again!!! They really need to make a Wicked movie so I can at least somewhat relive the experience over and over again in my living room.

So basically, life is going pretty well right now. It's looking like it's going to be a fun summer. :)

Finished

I just went up on campus to turn in the very last assignment of my academic career.

You'd think I'd be feeling relieved and excited, but instead, I just feel sad. I've loved my life here at BYU. I am really going to miss it. Graduate school has seriously been the best two years of my life, and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to be a part of this program.

I have started packing up my carrell at the grad lab. That about tears my heart in two!!! For the past two years, I have basically LIVED in the grad lab. Not just me, but everyone in my program. I am going to miss hanging out with everyone there everyday... but even if I stuck around, things would change. Most people from my cohort are leaving and moving on to bigger and better things.
School isn't meant to last forever. Life isn't meant to be static. I keep reminding myself that I've felt a little sad every time I've reached a transition point in my life... going from elementary school to middle school, from middle school to high school, from high school to college (well... okay, I wasn't all that sad to leave the pits of high school, haha), and even from an undergraduate program to a graduate program! But every time, the next stage has ended up being so much better than the last one, and I haven't regretted moving forward. I know that will probably happen now too... It is just so hard when I don't know what the next step is going to be!!!

But we will see what happens. I have started putting applications in to social science researcher positions around the country. Hopefully I can find a job somewhere and then go from there.
My freshman year, there was a quote hanging in the common room by President Packer on having faith. I tried to find it just now. I think this is a longer version of what I've seen before:

"Shortly after I was called as a General Authority, I went to Elder Harold B. Lee for counsel. He listened very carefully to my problem and suggested that I see President David O. McKay. President McKay counseled me as to the direction I should go. I was very willing to be obedient but saw no way possible for me to do as he counseled me to do.

I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, "The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning." I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: "You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you."
I guess I am learning to take a few steps into the darkness. Any second now, the light will show up and help me see what to do next.

Emerging from the Cave

I've spent the last three days focused solely on my thesis revisions. It's been a blessing-things opened up so that is all I had to worry about. For the first time I can remember, I didn't need to do any research for my professor (we are waiting to hear back from the IRB on his latest study) and my class assignments aren't due until Tuesday, so I didn't need to worry about those yet. The first couple days were great. It was actually very relaxing to be able to focus on my thesis and not have to worry about anything else. But this last day has been really tough for some reason. I guess I've just been a little stressed out about getting the thesis back to my committee in a timely manner. It is finished though! I sent them the latest round of revisions 5 minutes ago. I will be very surprised if they don't ask me to do another round or two of revisions just to get things right, but I think we are getting very close. :) And I have until February 17 to get everything polished up for their satisfaction (that's the last day we can talk to the secretary about scheduling a defense), so I think I am in good shape. Graduation, here I come!

UPDATE: Ha, well, my professors just got back to me to say I am okayed to schedule! :) The secretary is out of her office by now, but I sent her an email, and on Monday we should get things set up. Thesis defenses have to be scheduled at least two weeks in advance, so the soonest it could happen would be February 20. It all depends on when my professors are available. But this is good news! :) The last possible day to defend is March 2, so this puts me a bit ahead of schedule. That's good, because basically everyone passes their thesis defense pending revisions, which means I'll be back to revising as soon as the defense is over, and I have to get it all turned finalized and turned in around mid-March sometime. This means I should hopefully have the time to do all of that... provided I pass my defense! I am starting to get a little nervous about that.

NCFR

This week I got to venture to Florida to attend the National Council on Family Relations. This is a big annual gathering where family professionals from around the country gather together to share their research. I had heard about it for years, so it was exciting to finally get to go for myself.

Can I just say, Orlando is beautiful? I wish we had more time there to just play around and explore. I will have to go back someday.

This was the view from our hotel window:

Everyone at the conference got an official nametag with ribbons attached. Most ribbons said cool things like "Award Winner" "Legacy Circle" or "Section Chair."

Somehow I ended up with more ribbons than anyone else I saw, but they were mostly for dorky things:

"First Time Attendee" "Student/New Professional" "Student Aide"... the one I was proud of said "Certified Family Life Educator." :)

I spent four hours volunteering at the registration desk. It was AWESOME. So many big name professors checked in... people whose research I've been studying for years... I was a little star struck by it all!

On Thursday I presented a poster on my thesis. A lot of people stopped by. They were all nice and said encouraging things. I felt a little bit more like a professional!

Me and my amazing poster

 After my presentation was over, my friends Lena, JV, and I headed out to Downtown Disney!

Even though it's not actual Disney World, it has the same vibe to it. Just being there made me really happy. I found this awesome little souvenir at the world's largest Disney store (World of Disney):

An antenna topper for my car in the shape of Cinderella's carriage... It says "Disney Princess" and it's the same color as my car! Perfect!

 Overall the trip was amazing and I'm glad I went! Hopefully I can go again next year. Also, I need to go back to Orlando sometime and really check out all the sights... Disney World... Harry Potter World... Sea World... All of it!

But even though I had fun, I am ready to be back home. :) I was surprised how much I missed Provo while I was away. Turns out Provo is a pretty cool place to be!

On the Family Sciences

Dear Friends,

My undergraduate major was called Marriage, Family, and Human Development. It is a wonderful major but one with many unfortunate misconceptions. Let me clear a few things up for you:

1. MFHD is not "the official M.R.S. degree" at BYU, nor is it the Mommy Prep degree. This is not a major people do to kill time before they get married and start life as a stay at home mom.
2. It is not Home Economics. When I tell people my major, they often say "Oh, you must be good at cooking and sewing!" Actually, my program doesn't include a single cooking or sewing class.
3. There is a reason it is called Family Science. Family science is a hybrid of both psychology and sociology with  a family emphasis. It is a science in the same way that psychology and sociology are sciences.
4.  MFHD is not an easy program. Our program is very research heavy. Students must conduct research, study research, and learn to write research papers really well. Our professors are usually family therapists, so they are kind to us, but they are also scholars and they are used to reviewing papers for scholarly journals. They make sure that we are doing high quality work (particularly in the upper level courses).
5. In some ways, studying people and families is more difficult than studying "hard core" science topics (physics, chemistry, biology, engineering, etc etc). Each individual has their own life story. They are faced with their own unique family circumstances and challenges. They bring to the table a unique blend of personality traits, abilities, relationships, and experiences. No two people will react to the same situation in the exact same way. Also, most human emotions and experiences are difficult to capture in a quantitative way. We have to get creative in our efforts to study families and individuals. There are limitations to what we can do that we are constantly having to work around, but that doesn't mean our efforts aren't valuable.
*disclaimer: I'm certainly not saying that our major is harder than physics, chemistry, biology, engineering, etc. Students in those programs face difficulties that we don't have to deal with. But don't discount our program just because our difficulties are different than yours.*
6. MFHD can lead to careers. Many students (like me) go on to graduate programs and pursue careers as educators and therapists. A bachelor's degree in MFHD can yield jobs too. The fact is, families are important and there are many jobs out there designed to deal with family issues.

Friends, I love my major, but I wish more people would take it seriously. Just because it has "Marriage" in the name doesn't mean I am "one of those girls" who came here just to get married. Just because the emphasis is on families doesn't mean the only career track it offers is in parenthood.

Please treat our program with respect, and we'll do the same to yours. We're all here to learn, aren't we?

Love,

Shelece