Finished

I just went up on campus to turn in the very last assignment of my academic career.

You'd think I'd be feeling relieved and excited, but instead, I just feel sad. I've loved my life here at BYU. I am really going to miss it. Graduate school has seriously been the best two years of my life, and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to be a part of this program.

I have started packing up my carrell at the grad lab. That about tears my heart in two!!! For the past two years, I have basically LIVED in the grad lab. Not just me, but everyone in my program. I am going to miss hanging out with everyone there everyday... but even if I stuck around, things would change. Most people from my cohort are leaving and moving on to bigger and better things.
School isn't meant to last forever. Life isn't meant to be static. I keep reminding myself that I've felt a little sad every time I've reached a transition point in my life... going from elementary school to middle school, from middle school to high school, from high school to college (well... okay, I wasn't all that sad to leave the pits of high school, haha), and even from an undergraduate program to a graduate program! But every time, the next stage has ended up being so much better than the last one, and I haven't regretted moving forward. I know that will probably happen now too... It is just so hard when I don't know what the next step is going to be!!!

But we will see what happens. I have started putting applications in to social science researcher positions around the country. Hopefully I can find a job somewhere and then go from there.
My freshman year, there was a quote hanging in the common room by President Packer on having faith. I tried to find it just now. I think this is a longer version of what I've seen before:

"Shortly after I was called as a General Authority, I went to Elder Harold B. Lee for counsel. He listened very carefully to my problem and suggested that I see President David O. McKay. President McKay counseled me as to the direction I should go. I was very willing to be obedient but saw no way possible for me to do as he counseled me to do.

I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, "The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning." I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: "You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you."
I guess I am learning to take a few steps into the darkness. Any second now, the light will show up and help me see what to do next.