At General Conference, Elder Brook D. Hales of the Seventy gave an awesome talk on answers to prayer. He said that "Sometimes our most earnest and worthy desires are not answered in the way we hope, but we find that God has greater blessings in store."
That really hit me. Sometimes when our prayers aren't answered right away, it's because God has a better plan for us than we are hoping for ourselves.
Lately I've been pondering the timing of Trevor and I finding each other. I'd expected to get married a lot younger than 30. I went to BYU anxiously hoping to be a "BYU success story" and find my eternal companion. (Also, to get my education!! Despite the common assumption about girls in my major, I was not there just to find a husband, but I did hope that it might happen along the way.) Four years went by... No husband. I remember spending my graduation ceremony with a friend of mine who experienced life the way I'd hoped I would--she had a crush on a cute boy during her freshman year, she wrote him faithfully during his mission, and when he got back, he finally asked her out. Soon they were married and tackling college life together. I remember at the end of our graduation, my friend and I went in search of our families. Her husband ran up to her to congratulate her, and she flung herself into his arms. There it was--my dream, playing out for someone else. Meanwhile I had yet to find a serious boyfriend.
But what I didn't know then, what I couldn't know, is that my dream guy was four and a half years younger than me. A month or so after I graduated from BYU, Trevor graduated from high school. We couldn't be together yet then. God knew that, and so He tried to counsel me to be patient and wait for the right guy and the right time.
I didn't understand. I was so impatient. Over and over I prayed to know what I could do to find my husband. I promised that I would do anything. Most of the time the answer I got back was, "Really? Anything?" "YES! Anything!" "Then... keep waiting!" AHHHH! I hated that answer so much.
All along though, God had a plan for me. He knows the end from the beginning. He knew that Trevor and I would meet one day and have our happily ever after, but it wasn't the right time just yet. Trevor had a mission to serve, and then a couple of degrees to finish. Trevor's aerospace program was pretty grueling. He didn't have much time to date while he was studying.
Within a week of him graduating, we were dating. The time was finally right. And he was worth every second of anxious waiting. I love him so much, and I'm so grateful that we are together.
I know there are many more challenges in life ahead. I'm hoping that I can remember this lesson--trust God's timing over my own. His plans are greater than ours, and He wants what is best for us. We have to trust that His vision is greater than our own.
Showing posts with label love story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love story. Show all posts
Monday, April 15, 2019
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
A Year Ago
A year ago, I was in a dark place.
I'd met Trevor a couple months before, but he'd never called me, and I wasn't sure if he'd lost interest or if he was busy finishing up his master's degree in Boulder. (Thank goodness it turned out to be the second option!)
I was navigating yet another quarter life crisis and trying to figure out what I needed to change to feel like I was progressing. I considered a PhD, and even purchased the books to study for taking the GRE again, but... I realized that truthfully, that wasn't what I wanted to do with my next five years.
I'd finally saved up enough for a down payment on a home, but every time I tried to get serious about house shopping, I just didn't feel good about it. Finally I prayed about it and felt pretty firmly that I shouldn't be buying a house just yet. So there went that option.
The bright spot in my life was my sweet little baby Molly.
Mother's Day came around. Shauna and I went to church with Mom and Dad--we were spending the day together as a family to support Mom for Mother's Day. I... didn't take it well. I felt like I was surrounded on all sides with women my age married for years with multiple kids. (Cuz... I mean, I was.) Salt in the wound.... the life I'd always longed for that seemed forever out of reach.
I came home and cried and cried. It was really embarrassing, because it was obviously putting a damper on my mom's special day. But my mother was really patient with me. She told me she thought that my husband was closer than I thought. Of course, we'd all said that before about my husband, and he hadn't showed. So I wasn't terribly optimistic (but she did help me feel better).
What I didn't know, and what I had no way of knowing, was that I was exactly one week away from going on my first date with Trevor.
It was a good thing I hadn't applied for any PhD programs--I needed to be here to date him. It was a good thing I hadn't bought a house--that meant we've been able to pick one out together, and build it with a family in mind. God had been reassuring me for years that everything would work out... and finally, it all came together.
I guess I am writing this to say... don't give up. Whatever trials you are facing, hang in there. Things can and will get better. You may not know when or how... and it may not be as soon as you are hoping for. But sometimes, the answer to your prayers really is just right around the corner.
As my cousin Natalie always says, it will all work out.
I'd met Trevor a couple months before, but he'd never called me, and I wasn't sure if he'd lost interest or if he was busy finishing up his master's degree in Boulder. (Thank goodness it turned out to be the second option!)
I was navigating yet another quarter life crisis and trying to figure out what I needed to change to feel like I was progressing. I considered a PhD, and even purchased the books to study for taking the GRE again, but... I realized that truthfully, that wasn't what I wanted to do with my next five years.
I'd finally saved up enough for a down payment on a home, but every time I tried to get serious about house shopping, I just didn't feel good about it. Finally I prayed about it and felt pretty firmly that I shouldn't be buying a house just yet. So there went that option.
The bright spot in my life was my sweet little baby Molly.
 |
| Look how tiny she used to be! |
I came home and cried and cried. It was really embarrassing, because it was obviously putting a damper on my mom's special day. But my mother was really patient with me. She told me she thought that my husband was closer than I thought. Of course, we'd all said that before about my husband, and he hadn't showed. So I wasn't terribly optimistic (but she did help me feel better).
What I didn't know, and what I had no way of knowing, was that I was exactly one week away from going on my first date with Trevor.
It was a good thing I hadn't applied for any PhD programs--I needed to be here to date him. It was a good thing I hadn't bought a house--that meant we've been able to pick one out together, and build it with a family in mind. God had been reassuring me for years that everything would work out... and finally, it all came together.
I guess I am writing this to say... don't give up. Whatever trials you are facing, hang in there. Things can and will get better. You may not know when or how... and it may not be as soon as you are hoping for. But sometimes, the answer to your prayers really is just right around the corner.
As my cousin Natalie always says, it will all work out.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Piano Lesson
Be warned--this happy little bride is probably going to write several posts about her new hubby. I'm very much in a sappy newlywed kind of mood. :)
Today I wanted to share a memory from our 3rd date... one of the first times I knew there was something different about Trevor from any other man I'd ever dated.
This was back on Memorial Day. We had an epic full day together planned--first, attending the YSA Memorial Day picnic, then going mini-golfing, and then ending the day with dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was excited for the date, but I was also really nervous about it. I think I realized that we were moving quickly towards a relationship--he'd only been in the area a little over a week, and we'd already spent time together almost everyday. Yet we still didn't know each other very well, and I didn't want us to become involved only for one or both of us to have our hearts broken.
Towards the end of the picnic, we found ourselves inside the church building, and of course Trevor wanted to go find a piano. (If you know Trevor at all, you know he is very passionate about music--and piano and organ in particular). I thought he'd want to play something for me, but instead, he asked me to play something for him. I tried to beg off. I took piano lessons as a kid, but I never enjoyed them. I would rather be off writing a story or reading a book than playing a song on the piano. I gave up piano by the time I hit high school and never looked back.
But somehow Trevor coaxed me into sitting down and attempting a hymn. He offered to play the left hand for me while I played the right. Oh man.... it was a mess. I could barely remember how to read music. I had to stop in between notes to recite in my head "Every good boy deserves fudge" as I struggled to figure out what I should even be playing. Even with that, I still played plenty of wrong notes, and my pace was about at sloth speed. My playing was definitely not recognizable as a hymn. Man, I thought, this is so embarrassing!
Then it hit me--I wasn't actually feeling embarrassed. There I was, butchering one of Trevor's favorite pastimes, and I realized that somehow I still felt relaxed and at peace. I knew he wasn't judging me.
I am a perfectionist. I hate being bad at things, especially in front of other people. I realized that with any other guy, I wouldn't be feeling this way. With any of my crushes in the past, I would have felt totally humiliated failing at their favorite hobby in front of them. With men I wasn't into, my humiliation would probably have turned into anger that they "made" me do something I was so bad at.
But with Trevor... I felt totally at peace. I felt safe--somehow I knew he was someone I could show my weaknesses to, and he wouldn't be harsh or judgmental about them. I could just be my real self.
That moment and that realization were very powerful for me. Something was different with this man--and knowing that gave me to courage to keep moving ahead to see what would happen next. Thank goodness I did!
Today I wanted to share a memory from our 3rd date... one of the first times I knew there was something different about Trevor from any other man I'd ever dated.
This was back on Memorial Day. We had an epic full day together planned--first, attending the YSA Memorial Day picnic, then going mini-golfing, and then ending the day with dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was excited for the date, but I was also really nervous about it. I think I realized that we were moving quickly towards a relationship--he'd only been in the area a little over a week, and we'd already spent time together almost everyday. Yet we still didn't know each other very well, and I didn't want us to become involved only for one or both of us to have our hearts broken.
Towards the end of the picnic, we found ourselves inside the church building, and of course Trevor wanted to go find a piano. (If you know Trevor at all, you know he is very passionate about music--and piano and organ in particular). I thought he'd want to play something for me, but instead, he asked me to play something for him. I tried to beg off. I took piano lessons as a kid, but I never enjoyed them. I would rather be off writing a story or reading a book than playing a song on the piano. I gave up piano by the time I hit high school and never looked back.
But somehow Trevor coaxed me into sitting down and attempting a hymn. He offered to play the left hand for me while I played the right. Oh man.... it was a mess. I could barely remember how to read music. I had to stop in between notes to recite in my head "Every good boy deserves fudge" as I struggled to figure out what I should even be playing. Even with that, I still played plenty of wrong notes, and my pace was about at sloth speed. My playing was definitely not recognizable as a hymn. Man, I thought, this is so embarrassing!
Then it hit me--I wasn't actually feeling embarrassed. There I was, butchering one of Trevor's favorite pastimes, and I realized that somehow I still felt relaxed and at peace. I knew he wasn't judging me.
I am a perfectionist. I hate being bad at things, especially in front of other people. I realized that with any other guy, I wouldn't be feeling this way. With any of my crushes in the past, I would have felt totally humiliated failing at their favorite hobby in front of them. With men I wasn't into, my humiliation would probably have turned into anger that they "made" me do something I was so bad at.
But with Trevor... I felt totally at peace. I felt safe--somehow I knew he was someone I could show my weaknesses to, and he wouldn't be harsh or judgmental about them. I could just be my real self.
That moment and that realization were very powerful for me. Something was different with this man--and knowing that gave me to courage to keep moving ahead to see what would happen next. Thank goodness I did!
Friday, December 1, 2017
Love at First Sight
Please excuse a sappy post from a new bride. :)
Do you believe in love at first sight? I sure didn't.
I guess in my mind, love at first sight played out like the opening scene of Disney's Enchanted. Giselle literally falls into the Prince's lap, they lay eyes on each other for the first time, and after politely asking for Giselle's name, the Prince declares "We shall be married in the morning!" One look is all it takes, and then they ride off into the sunset together back to the Prince's castle.
Totally unrealistic. Completely impossible.
But maybe that's not how love at first sight works at all. I submit that love at first sight isn't love at all in the beginning. It's an instant attraction, an instant pull to each other, a spark and a connection and a giddiness to be with the other person... the sort of thing that often takes a while to develop, appearing suddenly at a first meeting.... If you're both lucky enough to have it, you act on it. You spend time together getting to know one another.... and if you're really lucky, that feeling builds and builds until it blossoms into full-blown love.
Love at first sight means there was never an instant that you've known this person when you weren't attracted to them, when you weren't hoping for a happy ending.
A disclaimer here. Love can come in many ways and in many different speeds of course. Love at first sight isn't superior to slowly falling for an old friend, or realizing a few dates in that you like this gentleman far more than you thought. The important thing isn't how love comes into our lives, but what it grows to be.
I never thought I'd be someone to fall in love at first sight. I was someone typically slow to warm up to any man I was interested in. I found that I usually had to know a man for at least a month before I'd feel the slightest feelings for him. I discovered it was easier for me to get to know men as friends and develop interest from there, rather than jump into dating right away. When a man asked me out when we first met, there was just too much pressure in trying to evaluate if this perfect stranger was someone I wanted to marry or not. Silly, maybe, but true for me.
And then, I met Trevor.
It wasn't like a scene from a fairy tale. I didn't look at him and just know. The heavens didn't open and an angelic choir didn't sing out to let me know that I'd found my prince charming.
But right away, we were attracted to each other. When we talked, we just... clicked. We liked each other like that and we wanted to get to know each other better.
When Trevor moved to the Springs, we connected again at his first YSA activity. We made arrangements to go to a church event together that Sunday. Saturday night beforehand, we ended up sitting together at a fireside. And we were inseparable after that. Right from the get go we were going on 2 dates a week and spending time together at church, at FHE, at institute, at the Friday night mingles. We were together almost every day. And it felt so natural to be together all that time. It just felt... right.
Before, I would go out on dates with men I wasn't sure about for probably longer than I should have. Sometimes 5 or 6 dates, saying yes when they asked again because I had a good time with them, even though I wasn't completely sold yet on committing to them. And then all of a sudden (or so it would appear to me!) they would ask me to be their girlfriend, and I'd scramble and take a step back. I'd have to tell them that although I enjoyed our time together, I was not ready to commit. I wasn't saying I wouldn't ever be, but I wasn't yet. Then I'd go home and stress and over-analyze and eventually, always come to the conclusion that while I had fun with these guys, I didn't want a long-term relationship with them. I couldn't imagine marrying them. I'd break the news as gently as I could, and that was that.
But when Trevor asked me to be his girlfriend, only three weeks into our dating, I thought, What took you so long? and my answer was the easiest in the world.
Everything with us was so easy. There was never any chick flick drama--no airport chase scene, no last minute dramatic reveal that threatened to rip us apart, no anguished and frightened declarations of love. We liked each other, we got to know each other better, we fell in love, and it was all very open and sincere and sweet.
Now here I am, Trevor's wife, sealed to him for time and all eternity. All those hopes that were born in the instant that we met came true. It's amazing to think about. I am so grateful this wonderful man came into my life. Everyday with him seems to be better than the last. I am excited for the rest of our lives together.
Do you believe in love at first sight? I sure didn't.
I guess in my mind, love at first sight played out like the opening scene of Disney's Enchanted. Giselle literally falls into the Prince's lap, they lay eyes on each other for the first time, and after politely asking for Giselle's name, the Prince declares "We shall be married in the morning!" One look is all it takes, and then they ride off into the sunset together back to the Prince's castle.
Totally unrealistic. Completely impossible.
But maybe that's not how love at first sight works at all. I submit that love at first sight isn't love at all in the beginning. It's an instant attraction, an instant pull to each other, a spark and a connection and a giddiness to be with the other person... the sort of thing that often takes a while to develop, appearing suddenly at a first meeting.... If you're both lucky enough to have it, you act on it. You spend time together getting to know one another.... and if you're really lucky, that feeling builds and builds until it blossoms into full-blown love.
Love at first sight means there was never an instant that you've known this person when you weren't attracted to them, when you weren't hoping for a happy ending.
A disclaimer here. Love can come in many ways and in many different speeds of course. Love at first sight isn't superior to slowly falling for an old friend, or realizing a few dates in that you like this gentleman far more than you thought. The important thing isn't how love comes into our lives, but what it grows to be.
I never thought I'd be someone to fall in love at first sight. I was someone typically slow to warm up to any man I was interested in. I found that I usually had to know a man for at least a month before I'd feel the slightest feelings for him. I discovered it was easier for me to get to know men as friends and develop interest from there, rather than jump into dating right away. When a man asked me out when we first met, there was just too much pressure in trying to evaluate if this perfect stranger was someone I wanted to marry or not. Silly, maybe, but true for me.
And then, I met Trevor.
It wasn't like a scene from a fairy tale. I didn't look at him and just know. The heavens didn't open and an angelic choir didn't sing out to let me know that I'd found my prince charming.
But right away, we were attracted to each other. When we talked, we just... clicked. We liked each other like that and we wanted to get to know each other better.
When Trevor moved to the Springs, we connected again at his first YSA activity. We made arrangements to go to a church event together that Sunday. Saturday night beforehand, we ended up sitting together at a fireside. And we were inseparable after that. Right from the get go we were going on 2 dates a week and spending time together at church, at FHE, at institute, at the Friday night mingles. We were together almost every day. And it felt so natural to be together all that time. It just felt... right.
Before, I would go out on dates with men I wasn't sure about for probably longer than I should have. Sometimes 5 or 6 dates, saying yes when they asked again because I had a good time with them, even though I wasn't completely sold yet on committing to them. And then all of a sudden (or so it would appear to me!) they would ask me to be their girlfriend, and I'd scramble and take a step back. I'd have to tell them that although I enjoyed our time together, I was not ready to commit. I wasn't saying I wouldn't ever be, but I wasn't yet. Then I'd go home and stress and over-analyze and eventually, always come to the conclusion that while I had fun with these guys, I didn't want a long-term relationship with them. I couldn't imagine marrying them. I'd break the news as gently as I could, and that was that.
But when Trevor asked me to be his girlfriend, only three weeks into our dating, I thought, What took you so long? and my answer was the easiest in the world.
Everything with us was so easy. There was never any chick flick drama--no airport chase scene, no last minute dramatic reveal that threatened to rip us apart, no anguished and frightened declarations of love. We liked each other, we got to know each other better, we fell in love, and it was all very open and sincere and sweet.
Now here I am, Trevor's wife, sealed to him for time and all eternity. All those hopes that were born in the instant that we met came true. It's amazing to think about. I am so grateful this wonderful man came into my life. Everyday with him seems to be better than the last. I am excited for the rest of our lives together.
Saturday, September 16, 2017
Insta-Flashback
Do you ever just scroll through your Instagram or your Facebook or whatever and marvel at how your life has changed? I suppose blog scrolling would be another good option too.
Today I took a few minutes to do that. When I turned 29, I set a goal to make my last year of my twenties the best year. I wasn't sure what that would look like. During the summer of 2016, I'd taken my dream trip to London and Paris, so with that in my mind I thought I would focus on traveling, learning new things, having exciting experiences.
There has been some of that this year. But mostly, it's been the best year because of my loved ones and the time I've spent with them. It's amazing how much has changed in my family just over the last year.
Last fall, both Kristie and Jason came home from their missions. I moved out of the house when Kristie was only 10. She was home from September to January, and during that time, we spent more time together than we have in a very long while. We had lots of sister bonding moments and lots of fun adventures.
Once Jason was back, we had our whole family living together in the same place for 6 weeks or so. We all knew it was likely our last hurrah (the last time we'd all live at home) and so we really tried to enjoy our time together. In December we took an awesome family trip out to SLC to see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert, and it was very much on my mind that it might be our last trip before people started spreading out and getting married. But I had no idea just how close that time was--on that very trip, Kristie went on her first date with her now-husband, and the rest is history!
Once 2017 rolled around, I thought seriously about making a big change in my life. I'd essentially given up on marriage, and I wanted to make some changes so I could live a more fulfilling life as a single woman. I wasn't sure what that would be. I considered a PhD or buying a home, but I realized I didn't really want to go back to school, and I didn't feel right about buying a home for some reason. Eventually I decided to adopt a puppy. I'd always planned to wait until my kids were old enough to ask for a dog, but it seemed to me I might never have kids, and that I'd waited long enough. My instagram feed becomes clogged with Molly pics after that--so strange to think that she's only been part of my life for a few months, really! She's grown up so much from when I brought her home as a tiny little furball (I see one instagram post where her breeder told me she was a healthy 4 pounds. She's three times that big now!).
The same week I got Molly (February 18 is her gotcha day!), I flew out for Melissa's wedding. I was so happy for her that she finally found her Prince Charming! Actually, now that I think about it, that was the same week Kristie got engaged too, and I was very happy for her! But at the same time, these moments reminded me of how my life hadn't gone according to plan. I remember recommitting myself to my plan to make my single life the best it could be.
That was more ironic than I could ever have realized, because I was only two weeks away from meeting my future husband. On March 4, I helped host Colorado Springs annual YSA Ball--Back to the Future themed this time! As I was running around finishing the set up, I saw Trevor for the first time in the hallway. He'd been in the Springs looking for housing that day and decided to stop by. Of course I noticed he was cute. I overheard him telling someone he'd be moving to the Springs soon. I thought of going to say hi.... but I didn't. Right away I thought, what is the point? So maybe we'd flirt a little at the dance. Maybe he'd even get my number and we'd go on a date or two. It won't go anywhere--it never does. Either he'll lose interest or I will. So I went on my way without a word to him.
At the beginning of the ball, there was a formal dinner. We had seats for 180 people or so. I picked a table to sit at. And... out of all the tables in that room, Trevor ended up sitting at mine. He was with a guy giving him advice about housing (Mitch, if anyone is curious!) and Mitch decided they should sit with us. I couldn't help but wonder if I was getting a second chance to talk to Trevor. He introduced himself and we got to talk a bit... and the more we talked, the more I realized that for the first time in a while, I was actually interested in this boy. I really wanted him to get my number.
We weren't sitting next to each other. He was across the table and a seat or two down from me, and we soon got pulled into conversations with the people closer to us. And then as dinner ended, I had to dash off to get the dance launched. I don't remember how long I was out there running around. I do remember that when I made it back into the gym, I ran into Trevor almost right away (he says he was looking for me!) and it was a slow song, so he asked me to dance. I don't remember everything we talked about, but I do remember he asked what I do for fun and he seemed to be listening closely--I hoped he was scoping out date ideas. When the song ended, we stood there and just kept talking. Everything seemed to be going well until he asked how old I was and we discovered I was 29 and he was 24. I thought it was all over there, and so I backed off my flirting quite a bit in case he was scared off by my age. But, he still asked me for my number. He told me he had to take off because he had a long drive back to Boulder, but he'd be back in a couple weeks to check out more housing options, and he'd move to the Springs in May.
I watched him leave the dance, and I knew there was no way I would meet anyone else who could compete that night.
I didn't hear much from him after that. I did see him briefly when he came back to the Springs to work on housing, but he was mostly focused on talking to guys to see if anyone needed a roommate. During the next two months, I thought about him now and then and wondered if he'd vanished because he lost interest, or if he was just buried in finishing up his master's degree, and when he appeared he'd ask me out.
And then one Friday night he showed up at the weekly YSA activities I was in charge of. It was a Pinewood Derby night. My guy friends had tried to teach me the trick to building a super car, but I decided I didn't want to worry about it too much and threw together a car from a kit that soon claimed its place as the slowest car of the night. (Which I was ridiculously proud of--if you have a slow car, it might as well be the slowest!) Meanwhile Trevor brought one of his childhood cars and won for being the fastest. You can see snippets of this on my Instagram--a pic of my car, and a couple videos of it slowly approaching the finish line--in one, you can catch a glimpse of Trevor.
I was happy to see him there, but also cautious. I played it cool and didn't hover near him. It seemed to me like he went to talk to every other girl before me (he says it was more like they talked to him!). But towards the end of the night, Trevor came to talk to me before he left. He asked me about some upcoming events, including the Baccalaureate Service that Sunday at the Air Force Academy. Seated was limited so they were giving out tickets to make sure we didn't overflow the AFA Chapel. I knew my dad had a stack of tickets at home (he's a bishop) so I offered to give him one. Then Trevor asked about a carpool to the service. It would have been a golden opportunity to offer him a ride, but I didn't. I didn't want to be too forward. So I told him I was sure he would catch a ride with someone after church. But at the end of our conversation, Trevor brought it up again. "Are you sure there's not a carpool? How are you getting there? Are you going with your family?" I decided maybe he really did want to go with me, and I told him he could come with me and Lori.
Then I went home and thought about it a little. I called Lori up and told her I had a date to the baccalaureate so we wouldn't be able to drive up together.
The next night, Sister Dalton gave a fireside (she was the speaker at the Baccalaureate Service). I saw Trevor come in and sit down by himself in the back. All of a sudden I felt shy. I wanted to invite him to sit with me, but wasn't that kind of forward? No, no, it was just being friendly, so he wouldn't have to sit alone. I turned and smiled and waved at him, and gestured to him to come join me.
Since then.... we've basically been inseparable. It wasn't long before we became official... Actually I think that was the same week Kristie got married! Now here we are, engaged and counting down the days to the wedding.
If you'd told me a year ago where I'd be now... I wouldn't have believed you for a second. It's crazy to think about everything that has happened in a year. It makes me wonder what the future is going to hold.
Today I took a few minutes to do that. When I turned 29, I set a goal to make my last year of my twenties the best year. I wasn't sure what that would look like. During the summer of 2016, I'd taken my dream trip to London and Paris, so with that in my mind I thought I would focus on traveling, learning new things, having exciting experiences.
There has been some of that this year. But mostly, it's been the best year because of my loved ones and the time I've spent with them. It's amazing how much has changed in my family just over the last year.
Last fall, both Kristie and Jason came home from their missions. I moved out of the house when Kristie was only 10. She was home from September to January, and during that time, we spent more time together than we have in a very long while. We had lots of sister bonding moments and lots of fun adventures.
Once Jason was back, we had our whole family living together in the same place for 6 weeks or so. We all knew it was likely our last hurrah (the last time we'd all live at home) and so we really tried to enjoy our time together. In December we took an awesome family trip out to SLC to see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert, and it was very much on my mind that it might be our last trip before people started spreading out and getting married. But I had no idea just how close that time was--on that very trip, Kristie went on her first date with her now-husband, and the rest is history!
Once 2017 rolled around, I thought seriously about making a big change in my life. I'd essentially given up on marriage, and I wanted to make some changes so I could live a more fulfilling life as a single woman. I wasn't sure what that would be. I considered a PhD or buying a home, but I realized I didn't really want to go back to school, and I didn't feel right about buying a home for some reason. Eventually I decided to adopt a puppy. I'd always planned to wait until my kids were old enough to ask for a dog, but it seemed to me I might never have kids, and that I'd waited long enough. My instagram feed becomes clogged with Molly pics after that--so strange to think that she's only been part of my life for a few months, really! She's grown up so much from when I brought her home as a tiny little furball (I see one instagram post where her breeder told me she was a healthy 4 pounds. She's three times that big now!).
The same week I got Molly (February 18 is her gotcha day!), I flew out for Melissa's wedding. I was so happy for her that she finally found her Prince Charming! Actually, now that I think about it, that was the same week Kristie got engaged too, and I was very happy for her! But at the same time, these moments reminded me of how my life hadn't gone according to plan. I remember recommitting myself to my plan to make my single life the best it could be.
That was more ironic than I could ever have realized, because I was only two weeks away from meeting my future husband. On March 4, I helped host Colorado Springs annual YSA Ball--Back to the Future themed this time! As I was running around finishing the set up, I saw Trevor for the first time in the hallway. He'd been in the Springs looking for housing that day and decided to stop by. Of course I noticed he was cute. I overheard him telling someone he'd be moving to the Springs soon. I thought of going to say hi.... but I didn't. Right away I thought, what is the point? So maybe we'd flirt a little at the dance. Maybe he'd even get my number and we'd go on a date or two. It won't go anywhere--it never does. Either he'll lose interest or I will. So I went on my way without a word to him.
At the beginning of the ball, there was a formal dinner. We had seats for 180 people or so. I picked a table to sit at. And... out of all the tables in that room, Trevor ended up sitting at mine. He was with a guy giving him advice about housing (Mitch, if anyone is curious!) and Mitch decided they should sit with us. I couldn't help but wonder if I was getting a second chance to talk to Trevor. He introduced himself and we got to talk a bit... and the more we talked, the more I realized that for the first time in a while, I was actually interested in this boy. I really wanted him to get my number.
We weren't sitting next to each other. He was across the table and a seat or two down from me, and we soon got pulled into conversations with the people closer to us. And then as dinner ended, I had to dash off to get the dance launched. I don't remember how long I was out there running around. I do remember that when I made it back into the gym, I ran into Trevor almost right away (he says he was looking for me!) and it was a slow song, so he asked me to dance. I don't remember everything we talked about, but I do remember he asked what I do for fun and he seemed to be listening closely--I hoped he was scoping out date ideas. When the song ended, we stood there and just kept talking. Everything seemed to be going well until he asked how old I was and we discovered I was 29 and he was 24. I thought it was all over there, and so I backed off my flirting quite a bit in case he was scared off by my age. But, he still asked me for my number. He told me he had to take off because he had a long drive back to Boulder, but he'd be back in a couple weeks to check out more housing options, and he'd move to the Springs in May.
I watched him leave the dance, and I knew there was no way I would meet anyone else who could compete that night.
I didn't hear much from him after that. I did see him briefly when he came back to the Springs to work on housing, but he was mostly focused on talking to guys to see if anyone needed a roommate. During the next two months, I thought about him now and then and wondered if he'd vanished because he lost interest, or if he was just buried in finishing up his master's degree, and when he appeared he'd ask me out.
And then one Friday night he showed up at the weekly YSA activities I was in charge of. It was a Pinewood Derby night. My guy friends had tried to teach me the trick to building a super car, but I decided I didn't want to worry about it too much and threw together a car from a kit that soon claimed its place as the slowest car of the night. (Which I was ridiculously proud of--if you have a slow car, it might as well be the slowest!) Meanwhile Trevor brought one of his childhood cars and won for being the fastest. You can see snippets of this on my Instagram--a pic of my car, and a couple videos of it slowly approaching the finish line--in one, you can catch a glimpse of Trevor.
I was happy to see him there, but also cautious. I played it cool and didn't hover near him. It seemed to me like he went to talk to every other girl before me (he says it was more like they talked to him!). But towards the end of the night, Trevor came to talk to me before he left. He asked me about some upcoming events, including the Baccalaureate Service that Sunday at the Air Force Academy. Seated was limited so they were giving out tickets to make sure we didn't overflow the AFA Chapel. I knew my dad had a stack of tickets at home (he's a bishop) so I offered to give him one. Then Trevor asked about a carpool to the service. It would have been a golden opportunity to offer him a ride, but I didn't. I didn't want to be too forward. So I told him I was sure he would catch a ride with someone after church. But at the end of our conversation, Trevor brought it up again. "Are you sure there's not a carpool? How are you getting there? Are you going with your family?" I decided maybe he really did want to go with me, and I told him he could come with me and Lori.
Then I went home and thought about it a little. I called Lori up and told her I had a date to the baccalaureate so we wouldn't be able to drive up together.
The next night, Sister Dalton gave a fireside (she was the speaker at the Baccalaureate Service). I saw Trevor come in and sit down by himself in the back. All of a sudden I felt shy. I wanted to invite him to sit with me, but wasn't that kind of forward? No, no, it was just being friendly, so he wouldn't have to sit alone. I turned and smiled and waved at him, and gestured to him to come join me.
Since then.... we've basically been inseparable. It wasn't long before we became official... Actually I think that was the same week Kristie got married! Now here we are, engaged and counting down the days to the wedding.
If you'd told me a year ago where I'd be now... I wouldn't have believed you for a second. It's crazy to think about everything that has happened in a year. It makes me wonder what the future is going to hold.
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
All I Ask Of You (PS I'm Engaged!!)
I've always hoped that when I got engaged, the proposal would be simple, sweet, and sentimental, something private with just the two of us... and of course I wanted him to get down on one knee.
Well.... on Saturday night, Trevor knocked it out of the park with a perfect Shelece proposal. :)
This last weekend was the Denver Regional YSA Conference in Highlands Ranch. I was on the planning committee, so I was a little stressed out beforehand about how it would all go. Trevor was very supportive and came up with me. He mentioned to me that this was a big week for me, which in hindsight maybe should have clued me in, but I was convinced he was going to propose on August 4, because we had a special date planned for that day.
We slipped out of the conference a little early, because we were tired and we had a long drive back (at least, I thought that was the reason!). On our way out, I stopped to say goodbye to Sister Langston who headed up the planning committee. Trevor disappeared while we were talking, and then returned with a beautiful purple rose for me that he snagged from the conference decorations. (Which matched perfectly with the purple outfits we were both wearing). It was very sweet.
Once we were in the car, Trevor pointed out the gorgeous sunset and talked about how really this was the sunset of my YSA days. We usually listen to instrumental music while we are driving, and I realized that his playlist for that night had a lot of love songs. He kept making sweet comments tying me into the music. And then the song "Memory" came on, and Trevor asked me to share some of my favorite memories of our time dating. We had a great time creating our own little highlights reel. That's when I started to wonder if that night would be the night.
And then Trevor told me that before he took me home, we had to make a "short detour--emphasis on tour." We went to the Jamboree church building where we've spent so much of our time together. He took me on a tour and reminded me of many of the good times we've had there, like the Pinewood Derby activity where we first reconnected after he moved here (originally we met at the Back to the Future Ball in March--our love story probably deserves its own post :).
Trevor is a very gifted pianist and organist. I love to listen to him play, and sometimes he has me turn the pages for him when he's playing longer songs. He asked me if I'd be willing to do that again. He pulled out a Phantom of the Opera song book, and he played "All I Ask of You." When I turned the first page, I noticed he'd edited the lyrics a bit.
:)
When the song was over, I waited for him to ask the crucial question, but he said he wasn't quite done yet.
We went out to the hallway near a painting of Captain Moroni. Our very first date was to the Air Force Academy's baccalaureate service for the graduating cadets, and the painting was gifted to the YSAs at that time. We helped pack it up at the end of the service. Trevor and I spent a minute reminiscing about our first date. I wasn't sure it was a date at the time--he'd asked me for a ride, and I ended up bringing lunch for us beforehand and making sure we were one on one to make it date like, but I wasn't sure what he was thinking. We had the chance to meet the keynote speaker, Sister Elaine S. Dalton, and she asked me who Trevor was: "And this is your...?" "Uh.... Friend." Trevor apparently wasn't very happy with that answer at the time... but it all worked out in the end!
There is a plaque on the painting that says, "For the Blessings of Liberty" (the painting's name). Unfortunately it is not attached very well and so it always falls off, and we are constantly trying to put it back up. So I didn't think too much of it when Trevor bent down to get it... until he was kneeling on one knee and looking up at me.
Trevor told me that he would be my Captain Moroni if I would be his title of liberty. I loved that. I've always wanted to find my own Captain Moroni. I remember in Young Women's they'd always tell us to find someone like him: "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17).
We'd actually picked out our rings already, but it turns out my fingers are freakishly small (size 4!) and the rings I like best in the twist style have to be custom made to fit me. There is one ordered, but it will take 6-8 weeks to get here. So, in the meantime, he made me a temporary ring out of a key ring because "you hold the key to my heart." :)
Then came the golden question, "Will you marry me?" "Of course, yes!"
:) :) :) It was all so adorable and I am so happy!
The perfect touch at the end--as we left the building, it was raining, so we got to kiss in the rain.
We are planning on getting married on November 4, exactly 8 months from the day we met. Stay tuned for more details! I am so grateful Trevor came into my life, and I'm excited for our future together.
Well.... on Saturday night, Trevor knocked it out of the park with a perfect Shelece proposal. :)
This last weekend was the Denver Regional YSA Conference in Highlands Ranch. I was on the planning committee, so I was a little stressed out beforehand about how it would all go. Trevor was very supportive and came up with me. He mentioned to me that this was a big week for me, which in hindsight maybe should have clued me in, but I was convinced he was going to propose on August 4, because we had a special date planned for that day.
We slipped out of the conference a little early, because we were tired and we had a long drive back (at least, I thought that was the reason!). On our way out, I stopped to say goodbye to Sister Langston who headed up the planning committee. Trevor disappeared while we were talking, and then returned with a beautiful purple rose for me that he snagged from the conference decorations. (Which matched perfectly with the purple outfits we were both wearing). It was very sweet.
Once we were in the car, Trevor pointed out the gorgeous sunset and talked about how really this was the sunset of my YSA days. We usually listen to instrumental music while we are driving, and I realized that his playlist for that night had a lot of love songs. He kept making sweet comments tying me into the music. And then the song "Memory" came on, and Trevor asked me to share some of my favorite memories of our time dating. We had a great time creating our own little highlights reel. That's when I started to wonder if that night would be the night.
And then Trevor told me that before he took me home, we had to make a "short detour--emphasis on tour." We went to the Jamboree church building where we've spent so much of our time together. He took me on a tour and reminded me of many of the good times we've had there, like the Pinewood Derby activity where we first reconnected after he moved here (originally we met at the Back to the Future Ball in March--our love story probably deserves its own post :).
Trevor is a very gifted pianist and organist. I love to listen to him play, and sometimes he has me turn the pages for him when he's playing longer songs. He asked me if I'd be willing to do that again. He pulled out a Phantom of the Opera song book, and he played "All I Ask of You." When I turned the first page, I noticed he'd edited the lyrics a bit.
When the song was over, I waited for him to ask the crucial question, but he said he wasn't quite done yet.
We went out to the hallway near a painting of Captain Moroni. Our very first date was to the Air Force Academy's baccalaureate service for the graduating cadets, and the painting was gifted to the YSAs at that time. We helped pack it up at the end of the service. Trevor and I spent a minute reminiscing about our first date. I wasn't sure it was a date at the time--he'd asked me for a ride, and I ended up bringing lunch for us beforehand and making sure we were one on one to make it date like, but I wasn't sure what he was thinking. We had the chance to meet the keynote speaker, Sister Elaine S. Dalton, and she asked me who Trevor was: "And this is your...?" "Uh.... Friend." Trevor apparently wasn't very happy with that answer at the time... but it all worked out in the end!
There is a plaque on the painting that says, "For the Blessings of Liberty" (the painting's name). Unfortunately it is not attached very well and so it always falls off, and we are constantly trying to put it back up. So I didn't think too much of it when Trevor bent down to get it... until he was kneeling on one knee and looking up at me.
 |
| I love that I've got a rose to match the one on the Phantom cover, and that Trevor is in the same pose as Moroni. :) |
Trevor told me that he would be my Captain Moroni if I would be his title of liberty. I loved that. I've always wanted to find my own Captain Moroni. I remember in Young Women's they'd always tell us to find someone like him: "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17).
We'd actually picked out our rings already, but it turns out my fingers are freakishly small (size 4!) and the rings I like best in the twist style have to be custom made to fit me. There is one ordered, but it will take 6-8 weeks to get here. So, in the meantime, he made me a temporary ring out of a key ring because "you hold the key to my heart." :)
Then came the golden question, "Will you marry me?" "Of course, yes!"
:) :) :) It was all so adorable and I am so happy!
The perfect touch at the end--as we left the building, it was raining, so we got to kiss in the rain.
We are planning on getting married on November 4, exactly 8 months from the day we met. Stay tuned for more details! I am so grateful Trevor came into my life, and I'm excited for our future together.
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