Insta-Flashback

Do you ever just scroll through your Instagram or your Facebook or whatever and marvel at how your life has changed? I suppose blog scrolling would be another good option too.

Today I took a few minutes to do that. When I turned 29, I set a goal to make my last year of my twenties the best year. I wasn't sure what that would look like. During the summer of 2016, I'd taken my dream trip to London and Paris, so with that in my mind I thought I would focus on traveling, learning new things, having exciting experiences.

There has been some of that this year. But mostly, it's been the best year because of my loved ones and the time I've spent with them. It's amazing how much has changed in my family just over the last year.


Last fall, both Kristie and Jason came home from their missions. I moved out of the house when Kristie was only 10. She was home from September to January, and during that time, we spent more time together than we have in a very long while. We had lots of sister bonding moments and lots of fun adventures.

Once Jason was back, we had our whole family living together in the same place for 6 weeks or so. We all knew it was likely our last hurrah (the last time we'd all live at home) and so we really tried to enjoy our time together. In December we took an awesome family trip out to SLC to see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert, and it was very much on my mind that it might be our last trip before people started spreading out and getting married. But I had no idea just how close that time was--on that very trip, Kristie went on her first date with her now-husband, and the rest is history!

Once 2017 rolled around, I thought seriously about making a big change in my life. I'd essentially given up on marriage, and I wanted to make some changes so I could live a more fulfilling life as a single woman. I wasn't sure what that would be. I considered a PhD or buying a home, but I realized I didn't really want to go back to school, and I didn't feel right about buying a home for some reason. Eventually I decided to adopt a puppy. I'd always planned to wait until my kids were old enough to ask for a dog, but it seemed to me I might never have kids, and that I'd waited long enough. My instagram feed becomes clogged with Molly pics after that--so strange to think that she's only been part of my life for a few months, really! She's grown up so much from when I brought her home as a tiny little furball (I see one instagram post where her breeder told me she was a healthy 4 pounds. She's three times that big now!).

The same week I got Molly (February 18 is her gotcha day!), I flew out for Melissa's wedding. I was so happy for her that she finally found her Prince Charming! Actually, now that I think about it, that was the same week Kristie got engaged too, and I was very happy for her! But at the same time, these moments reminded me of how my life hadn't gone according to plan. I remember recommitting myself to my plan to make my single life the best it could be.

That was more ironic than I could ever have realized, because I was only two weeks away from meeting my future husband. On March 4, I helped host Colorado Springs annual YSA Ball--Back to the Future themed this time! As I was running around finishing the set up, I saw Trevor for the first time in the hallway. He'd been in the Springs looking for housing that day and decided to stop by. Of course I noticed he was cute. I overheard him telling someone he'd be moving to the Springs soon. I thought of going to say hi.... but I didn't. Right away I thought, what is the point? So maybe we'd flirt a little at the dance. Maybe he'd even get my number and we'd go on a date or two. It won't go anywhere--it never does. Either he'll lose interest or I will. So I went on my way without a word to him.

At the beginning of the ball, there was a formal dinner. We had seats for 180 people or so. I picked a table to sit at. And... out of all the tables in that room, Trevor ended up sitting at mine. He was with a guy giving him advice about housing (Mitch, if anyone is curious!) and Mitch decided they should sit with us. I couldn't help but wonder if I was getting a second chance to talk to Trevor. He introduced himself and we got to talk a bit... and the more we talked, the more I realized that for the first time in a while, I was actually interested in this boy. I really wanted him to get my number.

We weren't sitting next to each other. He was across the table and a seat or two down from me, and we soon got pulled into conversations with the people closer to us. And then as dinner ended, I had to dash off to get the dance launched. I don't remember how long I was out there running around. I do remember that when I made it back into the gym, I ran into Trevor almost right away (he says he was looking for me!) and it was a slow song, so he asked me to dance. I don't remember everything we talked about, but I do remember he asked what I do for fun and he seemed to be listening closely--I hoped he was scoping out date ideas. When the song ended, we stood there and just kept talking. Everything seemed to be going well until he asked how old I was and we discovered I was 29 and he was 24. I thought it was all over there, and so I backed off my flirting quite a bit in case he was scared off by my age. But, he still asked me for my number. He told me he had to take off because he had a long drive back to Boulder, but he'd be back in a couple weeks to check out more housing options, and he'd move to the Springs in May.

I watched him leave the dance, and I knew there was no way I would meet anyone else who could compete that night.

I didn't hear much from him after that. I did see him briefly when he came back to the Springs to work on housing, but he was mostly focused on talking to guys to see if anyone needed a roommate. During the next two months, I thought about him now and then and wondered if he'd vanished because he lost interest, or if he was just buried in finishing up his master's degree, and when he appeared he'd ask me out.

And then one Friday night he showed up at the weekly YSA activities I was in charge of. It was a Pinewood Derby night. My guy friends had tried to teach me the trick to building a super car, but I decided I didn't want to worry about it too much and threw together a car from a kit that soon claimed its place as the slowest car of the night. (Which I was ridiculously proud of--if you have a slow car, it might as well be the slowest!) Meanwhile Trevor brought one of his childhood cars and won for being the fastest. You can see snippets of this on my Instagram--a pic of my car, and a couple videos of it slowly approaching the finish line--in one, you can catch a glimpse of Trevor.

I was happy to see him there, but also cautious. I played it cool and didn't hover near him. It seemed to me like he went to talk to every other girl before me (he says it was more like they talked to him!). But towards the end of the night, Trevor came to talk to me before he left. He asked me about some upcoming events, including the Baccalaureate Service that Sunday at the Air Force Academy. Seated was limited so they were giving out tickets to make sure we didn't overflow the AFA Chapel. I knew my dad had a stack of tickets at home (he's a bishop) so I offered to give him one. Then Trevor asked about a carpool to the service. It would have been a golden opportunity to offer him a ride, but I didn't. I didn't want to be too forward. So I told him I was sure he would catch a ride with someone after church. But at the end of our conversation, Trevor brought it up again. "Are you sure there's not a carpool? How are you getting there? Are you going with your family?" I decided maybe he really did want to go with me, and I told him he could come with me and Lori.

Then I went home and thought about it a little. I called Lori up and told her I had a date to the baccalaureate so we wouldn't be able to drive up together.

The next night, Sister Dalton gave a fireside (she was the speaker at the Baccalaureate Service). I saw Trevor come in and sit down by himself in the back. All of a sudden I felt shy. I wanted to invite him to sit with me, but wasn't that kind of forward? No, no, it was just being friendly, so he wouldn't have to sit alone. I turned and smiled and waved at him, and gestured to him to come join me.

Since then.... we've basically been inseparable. It wasn't long before we became official... Actually I think that was the same week Kristie got married! Now here we are, engaged and counting down the days to the wedding.

If you'd told me a year ago where I'd be now... I wouldn't have believed you for a second. It's crazy to think about everything that has happened in a year. It makes me wonder what the future is going to hold.

Summer is different when you're grown up

When I was a kid, I had a summer tradition. Every summer, after the 4th of July, I'd get a little frantic.

I'd feel like there wasn't much summer left before I had to go back to school. Instead of savoring the last bit of summer, I focused on how soon it would be over and stressed out for the last month. I got a little better about this as I got older... Unless there was a major life transition waiting for me in the fall (i.e. college, graduate school...)

Last year was the first summer where I didn't have to go back to school in the fall. But even then, there was a transition when September hit and I moved back to Provo (after an awesome summer in Colorado).

This summer is the first where there won't be any huge transition. I mean, I am moving to the apartment next door, which will be a bit of a pain because my contract in this apartment ends two weeks before I'm allowed to move over there. So instead of just carrying my stuff next store, I have to find a place to store it for two weeks, haul it over there, and then haul it back.

But... really, no big changes. I'm not going back to school in the fall. I'm not leaving my family to head back to Utah. I'm still just here. I'll get new roommates and new people will move into the ward, but most of my life situation will be the same.

So... that little part of me that is so sad the summer is ending? That part of me can chill out. Summer weather doesn't correspond exactly with when the school year starts. September is usually still very warm, and sometimes October is too! And otherwise... my life won't change too terribly much when the summer ends.

My Bucket List

1. Publish a book. October, 2015--one of my research articles was included as a chapter in the textbook Family Life Education: the Practice of Family Science.
2. Ride the London Eye.  July 15, 2016
3. Eat gator meat.
4. Visit Walt Disney World.
5. Learn to horseback ride.
6. Visit a castle in Europe (I'm not picky about which one!).

• July 17, 2016--saw the outside of Buckingham Palace (the Queen was in residence so we couldn't tour)
• July 18, 2016--Tower of London (where I saw the crown jewels)
• July 21, 2016--Palace of Versailles

7. Visit every continent... except Antarctica. I'm not a big fan of cold. :)
8. Kiss in the rain.
9. Ride in a hot air balloon.
10. Go to the Floating Lantern Festival in Thailand.  Okay, so I didn't make it to Thailand. But I did go to a Floating Lantern Festival in Colorado Springs on November 7, 2015


Hmmm... More to come. I think I'll add to this as ideas hit me... and mark things off as I go!

Waldo Canyon Fire

On June 23, 2012, we looked out our window and saw this:

We found out there was a fire in Waldo Canyon, not far from Colorado Springs. Evacuations began.

Yesterday things seemed to be going better. On Sunday there were 11,000 evacuees, then they started letting people go back and the number dropped to 4,800.

But today was super hot, and the winds were really high. The fire got MUCH MUCH worse very fast.

Picture from 5:24 pm:

5:43 pm (from the same house):

Smoke blocked the whole sky. It was glowing an eerie orange color.

Now... we can see houses burning in the Mountain Shadows area. The fire has come down the mountain and it's in the plain now.
8:20 pm:

My whole life, I've looked up at these mountains. The view has always been much the same. But when the smoke clears, I don't think I will recognize my mountains anymore. My heart goes out to all of those who are losing their homes even as I'm typing this. I hope and pray that the firefighters will be protected as they face this terrible fire. I hope it can be stopped soon. They are estimating they won't be able to fully contain it until the middle of July at least.

On the news report we can see one of our Church buildings in Mountain Shadows. It hasn't burned yet. Everything around it is burning. I am hoping that it will be spared. It's surrounded by a huge parking lot and it has a fire resistant roof, so hopefully it will be okay.

I am so grateful there have not been any fatalities. All residents were evacuated. Thank goodness! This would be a much worse tragedy if people were losing their lives as well as their houses and belongings. But oh... I feel for all of those people who have lost so much!

Thunderbirds

Every year, when the Air Force cadets graduate, the Thunderbirds put on a show. Here in the Springs it is tradition for everyone who can to go outside and watch. It's pretty impressive! I tried to film them this year to give you an idea of how awesome they are... But you're probably better off watching clips on youtube. :) ... No really, you are. My camera apparently can't zoom in, and on screen the tiny dots that are the planes aren't very impressive. Still, I took the video, so I'm going to share it, dang it!

After the planes' entrance, they disappeared for a LONG LONG time while this little helicopter jetted around. I don't know if that was part of the show or the Secret Service detail (Pres. Obama was the commencement speaker this year) but I got this awesome little clip for ya:

Parable of the Contact Lenses

For the past several summers, I have worked as an optometric technician at my dad's office. One of my responsibilities there is to teach people how to wear contacts. This is actually something I really enjoy. People tend to get really excited the first time they get their contacts in and they can finally see without glasses. :)

Most people who come in have never seen someone get trained for contact lenses. Their experience with contacts involves watching people pop them in and out of their eyes, easy as pie. What they don't realize is that it takes a lot of practice to get to that point. A lot of my trainees expect to be able to get their contacts in on their first try, or even their second. But it takes that majority of trainees quite a few tries before they get the contacts in. That is NORMAL. We usually block off an hour for contact lenses trainings. Some lucky few do get their contacts in on their first try, but most take longer-anywhere from a few minutes to an hour to a few hours. No matter how fast they learn, most trainees are convinced they are the slowest contact trainees ever. They apologize over and over again for being so slow. Some of them get frustrated that they can't learn faster. What they don't realize is that they are doing fine-in fact, they are doing better than they think! Since they don't have experience with contact lense trainings, they can't see their experience in the proper light. I can. I do these things all the time. But when I reassure trainees that they are doing great, they don't always believe me. Sometimes they think I am just being nice.

Here's the other thing: it really doesn't matter how long it takes them to learn. Take a person who learned in five minutes and a person who learned in three hours and compare them one or two months down the road. You probably won't be able to tell which was which. It doesn't matter how long it takes to get the process down, it just matters that you keep trying and keep practicing until you can do it. Your end results will be the same.

I was stressing out recently about something I've been going through lately, something that requires me to do some growing and stretching. I've been frustrated at times, trying to get it down. But my experience training people to wear contacts came into my mind. I realized that in much of life, we are treading new ground for ourselves. Sometimes we haven't seen anyone else ever do this before, and we wonder how we are doing compared to others. Maybe we have seen others go through similar situations before, and we judge ourselves by how well we are doing in relation to their experiences.

But that is not how God judges. He knows that we all learn at different speeds. He knows that each situation is different, and He knows EVERY detail of everything that we go through. God does not judge us in relation to each other, He judges us with infinite mercy in relation to how well we are improving and growing for ourselves. He knows that with His help and with His grace, we can conquer all challenges before us. We can master the things we seek to study and learn. We need to have patience with ourselves, because God has patience with us. And from His perspective, we are likely doing better than we think. We just need to keep trying and keep doing our best. If we do, then we can become what we need to become.

Growing Up

You always believe in other people, but that's easy. Sooner or later, you gotta believe in yourself, too, because that's what growing up is. It's becoming who you want to be. You have to try. -Gary, The Muppets
     Who knew that a quote from the Muppets could be such food for thought? Hahaha, but it was for me! Growing up is becoming who you want to be. As children, we all dream of what our lives are going to be like. We make big plans-to be a veterinarian, an astronaut, a movie star. When we get a little older, our dreams change. In school and then especially in college we discover our gifts and talents and we chart a more sure course. We start taking specialized  classes and training for careers that are a little more realistic. 
     But at some point, the preparation ends. It's our turn to be on stage and live life for real. And that's where I'm at. It's my time to put those dreams to work and actually make something of my life. It's time for me to become who I want to be. I CAN if I want to and if I truly put my mind to it.
Not all childhood dreams come true, of course, but every kid dreams of being a hero-the good guy in their favorite stories. (Well, at least MOST kids. :) If we do our best to make the world a better place, we CAN make a difference, even if it's a small one, even if it's one that doesn't go down into a history book.
     Sorry that this is a little cheesy... I'm writing this during the ending scene of the Muppets and all that cheesy, happy finale music is getting to me. ;)

Finished

I just went up on campus to turn in the very last assignment of my academic career.

You'd think I'd be feeling relieved and excited, but instead, I just feel sad. I've loved my life here at BYU. I am really going to miss it. Graduate school has seriously been the best two years of my life, and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to be a part of this program.

I have started packing up my carrell at the grad lab. That about tears my heart in two!!! For the past two years, I have basically LIVED in the grad lab. Not just me, but everyone in my program. I am going to miss hanging out with everyone there everyday... but even if I stuck around, things would change. Most people from my cohort are leaving and moving on to bigger and better things.
School isn't meant to last forever. Life isn't meant to be static. I keep reminding myself that I've felt a little sad every time I've reached a transition point in my life... going from elementary school to middle school, from middle school to high school, from high school to college (well... okay, I wasn't all that sad to leave the pits of high school, haha), and even from an undergraduate program to a graduate program! But every time, the next stage has ended up being so much better than the last one, and I haven't regretted moving forward. I know that will probably happen now too... It is just so hard when I don't know what the next step is going to be!!!

But we will see what happens. I have started putting applications in to social science researcher positions around the country. Hopefully I can find a job somewhere and then go from there.
My freshman year, there was a quote hanging in the common room by President Packer on having faith. I tried to find it just now. I think this is a longer version of what I've seen before:

"Shortly after I was called as a General Authority, I went to Elder Harold B. Lee for counsel. He listened very carefully to my problem and suggested that I see President David O. McKay. President McKay counseled me as to the direction I should go. I was very willing to be obedient but saw no way possible for me to do as he counseled me to do.

I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, "The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning." I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: "You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you."
I guess I am learning to take a few steps into the darkness. Any second now, the light will show up and help me see what to do next.

Be Strong and Of A Good Courage

Tonight at Institute, we learned about the book of Joshua. The teacher highlighted one scripture in particular. In fact, she had one of her old EFY buddies bring his guitar and teach us a melody to sing it too (thanks teacher and guitar guy! That's the easiest way for me to memorize scriptures).

The scripture is Joshua 1:9. The Lord is speaking to Joshua shortly after he has become the Prophet. He was probably feeling intimidated trying to fill Moses' shoes. The Lord says: "'Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD they God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

Those words really resonated with me. I have been afraid as I've looked ahead to the future, when I need to be strong and of a good courage. One student made a comment tonight that also struck me hard. She pointed out that when the Israelites were fleeing the Egyptians, they had to go all the way to the borders of the Red Sea, not knowing beforehand what was going to happen to them. As far as they could see, it was physically impossible to escape from the Egyptians at their heels. But then, God performed a miracle. He provided a way for them that they could cross on dry ground.

I keep saying that I feel like everything is going to be okay, but when I look ahead, I can't see how. That comment hit me more than ever that it doesn't matter that I can't see how things will work out... They still will. God performed a miracle to save the Israelites. He can certainly open the way for me to get to where I need to be in this world.

The Institute teacher also briefly mentioned a BYU devotional Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (now an Apostle) gave back in 1980. It's beautiful. If you're ever feeling a little discouraged, give it a read.

On Butterflies

Photo by Munch Pierre, http://www.stockvault.net

I took a lovely Sunday nap today. One of my roommates came in while I was sleeping. Out loud I said something like "Mmmmmrrrfff" and then rolled over and went back to sleep. In my head, though, I said "I'm not ready to leave my cocoon yet." I was rolled up in my blankets just right so I was warm and comfortable-it was like a cocoon. But that brief little thought got me thinking more deeply.

Because, in many ways, my years in Provo have been living in a cocoon. Developing and growing into my final adult form, safe in the snug little "Provo bubble" where (practically) everyone shares my beliefs and values. I have loved it here. But it's time to grow up and leave. (Well, leave BYU at least. The jury is still out on whether or not I'll leave Provo.)

That's scary. BYU is all I've known for 6 years. That's a huge chunk of my life. Before that, I was a student too. Joining the workforce and becoming a real, full time employed adult is going to be a huge change. It's kind of intimidating.

But... it will be worth it. No butterfly wants to go back to being a caterpillar once its experienced the joys of flying. Leaving the cocoon may be daunting, and it's not the funnest task... but once I get through it, I'll be on to bigger and better things than I can imagine.

I just need to keep trekking, and things will work out.

Transitions

One of the good things about studying families (and trust me, there are a LOT of good things) is that it gives me a limited ability to psychoanalyze myself when necessary.

Recently I have been feeling a bit... lost. Like there was no longer any purpose or meaning to my life. This (naturally) freaked me out at first. What had thrown off my groove? How could I fix it?

I finally realized that this is just part of going through a life transition. For the last little while, the main focus in my life was my thesis. That's gone now, and I'm feeling the loss. It's like when a man retires after fifty years of work, or a mother finds herself home alone after her last child has flown the nest. It throws you off a bit at first because for so long, that thing WAS your life. It's hard to figure out what to do next to find meaning. Certainly my transition isn't as big of a deal as retirement or becoming an empty nester... but it IS A change and it's normal to feel a bit lost.

Realizing all of this made me feel much better about things. This is just one of those life stages things... I'll get through it. Once I land a job, it will be much easier to have a solid focus. But until then, I just need to focus on finding joy and meaning in the little things in life. Maybe set some little goals that I can achieve so I still feel like I am being productive.

Transition times can be tough, but they are necessary. We wouldn't want to be stuck in the same situation forever! If we were, how would we grow? Life is meant to be about change. It will be interesting to see where my life takes me next.

Words

I have always loved words.


I decided when I was three years old that I wanted to be a writer. I knew that only grown-up people could be writers though, so I was going to have to wait until I grew up. I waited and waited all day long, and by the time my father got home from work, I couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't even know how to write my name yet, but I dictated my very first book to my mom that evening. It was about Barkley from Sesame Street. I drew pictures to illustrate it. Since Barkley was too hard for me to draw, I always made him a tiny little dot in the distance.


My love language is called words of affirmation. For those not familiar with the concept of Love Languages, it is basically the idea that we each have a particular favorite way in which to receive love. For some, they feel most loved when they receive a gift, or when a loved one spends quality time with them. Some feel most loved through service, others through touch. And then there are those like me who benefit most from words. Oh, I can feel love through the other love languages, but for me there is nothing more powerful than being told "I love you." I would choose a heartfelt note over a gift any day. Words are life to me. Kind words are never forgotten, and harsh words crush me more than most.


I've noticed that words play a powerful role in how God speaks to me, as well. Of course He knows my love language. :) We all know that reading the scriptures brings us closer to God, but I find that I often feel His love in words of truth I stumble across in fiction books or in song lyrics. When I am upset, I find that He often brings words from literature or music into my mind, to bring me the comfort that I need.


Words are power. One of the apostles in my Church, Elder M. Russell Ballard, has said that "There is truth in the old adage that 'the pen is mightier than the sword.' In many cases, it is with words that you will accomplish the great things that you will now set out to do."I think that this is true for all of us. 

Fortune Cookies

Fortune cookies never lie, right? They always come true? :)

Ha, well, no, but dang it! There IS something exciting/comforting in that random slip of paper you find inside. Here's hoping there's some truth in these fortunes. :)

Something to remember...

next time I start stressing out about what's going to happen to me after graduation:
"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."-Arnold Bennett

Everything's amazing and nobody's happy

We live in an amazing time.

We're not peasants out in the field anymore, just trying to get by. We live in beautiful homes, we have plenty of food, we have multiple pairs of shoes and plenty of warm clothes. We don't have to depend on a fire to heat our homes in the winter. We have access to running water (even hot water!). Since our basic needs are taken care of, we can develop our time to educating ourselves and building careers in fields nobody dreamed of a few generations ago. The technologies available to us would be perceived as miracles by the people of the past. We have instant communication 24/7 from nearly every place in the world. We have access to the internet that connects us with essentially all the knowledge in the world. We can flip on a TV and watch an event that's going on on the other side of the planet. If we want to travel to the other side of the planet, we can climb aboard a flying machine and get there in a day's time. The possibilities today are truly limitless! What do our ancestors think as they watch the amazing opportunities we are blessed with?

And yet, has all this prosperity and technology made us happier? No. Granted, there are still problems in the world, not everything is sunshine and roses. But how often do we get caught up in "first world problems" and forget to look around and be grateful for all the things that we do have? We are living the dream! Let's not forget that.

New Beginnings

My  family has lived in the same house since I was  five years old. Really, it is the only home I can remember. But things are about to change. My family will be moving to a new home in the spring. It will still be in the same city, just a couple neighborhoods over. We will be in a different ward, but still the same stake. I'm a little nervous about the change, but I realize I am fortunate in that my family isn't leaving my hometown!

The house is currently under construction. It's still in the early framing stages. My family has made many many trips to watch its progress and walk through its skeleton. At first, it was hard to envision it as a house, but the framing is nearly complete, and now as we walk through it I find myself imagining what it will be like in a few months, when we call it home. I think we are going to like it there, but it will be hard to give up our old house. That's all I've ever known!

Hopefully this isn't too cheesy, but the whole thing struck me as a parallel to my life right now. For the last six years, I've been at BYU. I've loved it there. But next year I am graduating. In a few short months, I'll be leaving behind the life I know now and moving out into the real adult world.

It's exciting... and terrifying at the same time. I've been scrambling a little bit trying to figure out what the next step of my life would be. PhD? Get a job? Move back to Colorado or stay in Utah? I am a person who always tries to work upstream... I try to plan several steps ahead. But it's hard to plan when you don't have any idea what's coming.

But like our new house, my future is beginning to take shape. I have a tentative plan laid out. I won't be going on for my PhD just yet. Instead I'll be looking to get a job in my field. I am willing to go where the job takes me, but if at all possible I want to stay in the Provo area. I love Provo, and I'm not ready to leave just yet. Shauna is there with me now, and my brother will be coming next year to start at the Y. If that doesn't pan out, I've got backup plans in place for returning to Colorado, including a backup job if I can't find one in my chosen field. If I can't find a job in my field... next year I will consider applying to a PhD program after all.

Life isn't so scary anymore now that I know (sort of) where I am going. Things are going to come together somehow. I'm actually starting to look forward to my post-BYU phase. It'll be exciting to see where life takes me!

A year from now, my family will be safely established in their new house. It will be complete and beautiful and they will have been there for long enough to get used to it. A year from now, I'll be several months into my new life. What seems a little foggy now will have taken shape. Looking back, all my fears and worries will seem silly.

Here's to the future!

Mormon Tabernacle Choir

My amazing roommate Natalia has an uncle in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and he sent her a bunch of tickets to their Christmas Concert. :) We got to go last night! Getting there was an adventure. Parking was TERRIBLE. I think we drove down every single street in Salt Lake City trying to find a place to park. We were supposed to be in our seats by 7:30 (at that point they give seats away to the standbys) but 7:30 came and went and we still couldn't find a place to go. I think we were all praying like crazy that we'd still be able to make it somehow. In the end, we did. :) We found a random place to park a few blocks away, ran like crazy women in our high heels, and made it to our seats at 7:59, exactly one minute before the performance began. They were dimming the lights as we sat down. Haha, when we first arrived at the conference center, we were afraid they would turn us away, but the volunteers manning the door were incredibly sweet. "We're so glad you made it! We've been waiting for you! Come on in!"

The show was STUNNING. It was not a typical Mormon Tabernacle Choir show, it was complete with ballet dancers and special effects. Nathan Gunn and Jane Seymour were the special guests. The music was beautiful. If you have not heard the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing, you should go look them up on youtube. Right now. :)

One of my favorite special effects was snow that poured down from the ceiling. It looked very realistic, but it didn't stay on the floor. What was it? Well, stop now if you don't want the secret to be spoiled... but on our way back to our car, we met a trumpet player and a bassoon player from the Orchestra on Temple Square. They told us that it was thick, foam bubbles. Perfect for faux snow.

All in all, it was an amazing experience! I hope someday I get to go back again.

NCFR

This week I got to venture to Florida to attend the National Council on Family Relations. This is a big annual gathering where family professionals from around the country gather together to share their research. I had heard about it for years, so it was exciting to finally get to go for myself.

Can I just say, Orlando is beautiful? I wish we had more time there to just play around and explore. I will have to go back someday.

This was the view from our hotel window:

Everyone at the conference got an official nametag with ribbons attached. Most ribbons said cool things like "Award Winner" "Legacy Circle" or "Section Chair."

Somehow I ended up with more ribbons than anyone else I saw, but they were mostly for dorky things:

"First Time Attendee" "Student/New Professional" "Student Aide"... the one I was proud of said "Certified Family Life Educator." :)

I spent four hours volunteering at the registration desk. It was AWESOME. So many big name professors checked in... people whose research I've been studying for years... I was a little star struck by it all!

On Thursday I presented a poster on my thesis. A lot of people stopped by. They were all nice and said encouraging things. I felt a little bit more like a professional!

Me and my amazing poster

 After my presentation was over, my friends Lena, JV, and I headed out to Downtown Disney!

Even though it's not actual Disney World, it has the same vibe to it. Just being there made me really happy. I found this awesome little souvenir at the world's largest Disney store (World of Disney):

An antenna topper for my car in the shape of Cinderella's carriage... It says "Disney Princess" and it's the same color as my car! Perfect!

 Overall the trip was amazing and I'm glad I went! Hopefully I can go again next year. Also, I need to go back to Orlando sometime and really check out all the sights... Disney World... Harry Potter World... Sea World... All of it!

But even though I had fun, I am ready to be back home. :) I was surprised how much I missed Provo while I was away. Turns out Provo is a pretty cool place to be!

Drinking Fountain

Guess who just installed a drinking fountain in her own home all by herself? (well... Shauna helped too.)

Best of all, it looks just like Shamu!

Voila! :) My inner six year old is very very pleased indeed.

Decoration Dilemmas

I am not a decorator.

This became apparent at a fairly young age, when I was given a locker in middle school. Other kids personalized theirs with posters, family photos, mirrors, wrapping paper...

Me? I never put up anything. Oh, I always meant to. Just about everyday when I opened the dang thing or when I looked at my friends' snazzy decorative lockers, I'd think, "I really should decorate my locker. That'd be fun." But I was always too busy and too poorly motivated to do anything.

One of my friends went off on a rant once about people who didn't take time to decorate their lockers. "That's the only thing we can make our own in this place. Why wouldn't people take advantage of it???" Well... As I got older I tried harder. I did put up things in my locker occasionally, and when I got a lockermate, she helped improve things.

Then I came off to college. Over the years I have been blessed with many talented roomies who love to decorate. I watch them arrange things and drool over Crate and Barrel magazines and I've pondered how one  day I need to be more into that. You know, when I have my own place and more disposable income, or something. Hopefully when I get to that point, I will be more into things.

For now, I've been trying slowly to build up my talents. Like today, when I went to the poster sale at the Bookstore. I have a lovely large blank wall in my room, I figured some posters would be just the thing to brighten it up! Except there was only one poster that really appealed to me, and it was pretty small.

Pretty epic, right? I love it! I was excited to come and set it up in my room. But... there was an awful lot of space on that blank wall, and I've never been particularly good at knowing where to place things so they look good...

So basically I think what I've done is highlight all the empty space that I have left, instead of making it seem like there's less of it. Clearly some rearranging is in order. I'm thinking I should probably have put it lower down, maybe just above the bookcase or something. We'll see. I'll play around with it! I also feel like I need to get more posters to help that wall, but I don't want it to end up cluttered either. Also... my days as a college kid are numbered. Posters are fun for a college kid's apartment, but once I'm a real grown-up out there, they probably shouldn't be my main decorating tool.

Oh well. For now I have gone ahead and purchased another poster to add to my collection. Is this adorable or what? And so appropriate for BYU! :)