Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Independence Day! I hope everyone had a good one. Trevor and I spent ours up in Island Park Idaho with his family. (Let me tell you, it was a great way to start my digital minimalism fast up there, where there was no internet or cell phone signal).

We had a great time! On the first day, Trevor took me on my first ATV ride.

Totally posing. Trevor did all the driving. :)

In the afternoon, the family went jet skiing. (I had to sit out due to some health issues, but it was still fun to watch!)

On the second day, Trevor, Kathy (my mother-in-law) and I headed in to Yellowstone and visited our favorite places.

Top 2 favorites are definitely the Grand Prismatic Spring (in my opinion, one of the prettiest places on Earth!) and Artist's Point!

This time we hiked up past Fairy Falls to see the bird's eye view of the Spring. 10/10, would definitely recommend!

Artist's Point

On the last day, six of us went on a fishing trip with a guide. It was my very first time fishing, but I managed to catch 5 fish! (All thanks to Kerry, our awesome guide!) Trevor caught 8. It was catch and release, so after we hooked them, we let them go.

I caught the first fish on our boat! That's Kerry, our guide. He was so patient with all my newbie mistakes.

Trevor's biggest fish

I made so many newbie mistakes fishing, it was pretty hilarious. I got the fly line stuck in the rod a million times. I accidentally turned the reel backwards and tangled the line, more than once. I somehow crossed my line over Trevor's twice even though we were fishing on different sides of the boat. But the best moment was when Trevor and I both had fishes hooked, and in the middle of reeling mine in... my reel CAME OFF THE ROD. It fell to pieces. Apparently this is not a normal thing. We still aren't sure how I could have done that. The guide started trying to put it back together, but then he needed to help Trevor with his fish. Kerry handed me my rod.... and then Trevor's fish, fighting with all its might, swam to my side of the boat and got tangled in my line. 😮 Kerry had to take the rod back from me to try to solve that problem, and in the process, the reel innards fell to the floor and rolled away. It was an adventure. But Trevor did get his fish!

Maybe next time will go better. It was still fun.

We finished out the day with a trip to the Playmill theater to see the Foreigner. That play is hilarious, I definitely recommend it if you haven't seen it.

We had a great few days and I'm so glad we got to go.

Timing is Everything

At General Conference, Elder Brook D. Hales of the Seventy gave an awesome talk on answers to prayer. He said that "Sometimes our most earnest and worthy desires are not answered in the way we hope, but we find that God has greater blessings in store."

That really hit me. Sometimes when our prayers aren't answered right away, it's because God has a better plan for us than we are hoping for ourselves.

Lately I've been pondering the timing of Trevor and I finding each other. I'd expected to get married a lot younger than 30. I went to BYU anxiously hoping to be a "BYU success story" and find my eternal companion. (Also, to get my education!! Despite the common assumption about girls in my major, I was not there just to find a husband, but I did hope that it might happen along the way.) Four years went by... No husband. I remember spending my graduation ceremony with a friend of mine who experienced life the way I'd hoped I would--she had a crush on a cute boy during her freshman year, she wrote him faithfully during his mission, and when he got back, he finally asked her out. Soon they were married and tackling college life together. I remember at the end of our graduation, my friend and I went in search of our families. Her husband ran up to her to congratulate her, and she flung herself into his arms. There it was--my dream, playing out for someone else. Meanwhile I had yet to find a serious boyfriend.

But what I didn't know then, what I couldn't know, is that my dream guy was four and a half years younger than me. A month or so after I graduated from BYU, Trevor graduated from high school. We couldn't be together yet then. God knew that, and so He tried to counsel me to be patient and wait for the right guy and the right time.

I didn't understand. I was so impatient. Over and over I prayed to know what I could do to find my husband. I promised that I would do anything. Most of the time the answer I got back was, "Really? Anything?" "YES! Anything!" "Then... keep waiting!" AHHHH! I hated that answer so much.

All along though, God had a plan for me. He knows the end from the beginning. He knew that Trevor and I would meet one day and have our happily ever after, but it wasn't the right time just yet. Trevor had a mission to serve, and then a couple of degrees to finish. Trevor's aerospace program was pretty grueling. He didn't have much time to date while he was studying.

Within a week of him graduating, we were dating. The time was finally right. And he was worth every second of anxious waiting. I love him so much, and I'm so grateful that we are together.

I know there are many more challenges in life ahead. I'm hoping that I can remember this lesson--trust God's timing over my own. His plans are greater than ours, and He wants what is best for us. We have to trust that His vision is greater than our own.

What Happens at a Mormon Wedding?

My husband and I were married in the Salt Lake City temple. Weddings in our faith (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--most people call us the Mormon church) usually take place in a temple, and only faithful members of our church attend. So there are a lot of questions out there about what our weddings are really like and what we are doing inside the temple.

Our wedding ceremonies are simple. They take place in what we call "sealing rooms" (below is a pic of a sealing room in another temple).

Guests are seated prior to the marriage. The bride and groom come in together and sit together on a small couch on one end of the room. The sealer (the man who officiates over the wedding ceremony) speaks to the couple for a few minutes--he will often share advice about marriage and remind the couple of the sacredness of the covenants that they will be making.

Then he calls the couple up to the altar in the middle of the room. The groom escorts his bride to the altar, and the couple kneel across from each other as they are married. The ceremony is simple, sweet, and sacred.  The couple promise God that they will honor and love each other completely, and that they will follow the teachings and example of Jesus Christ. Once the sealing is complete, the bride and groom kiss across the altar, and if they want to, they exchange rings. Some couples opt to exchange rings outside of the temple instead. Either way is fine since the ring exchange is not part of the temple sealing. We chose to exchange our rings in the sealing room.

Sealing rooms have mirrors hanging on the walls on either side of the altar.

One way that our weddings are unique is that we are not married until death do us part. We are married for "time and all eternity"--in other words, for the rest of our lives, and forever and forever in heaven after death. We consider our temple marriages to be eternal. These mirrors symbolize that eternal connection. Since they face each other, their reflections bounce off each other. When you stand together and look into the mirrors, you see your reflections repeating endlessly (see the pic above) into eternity. For me it was a powerful moment to look into those mirrors with Trevor after we were sealed.

After that, the bride and groom usually stand at the front of the room, and as the guests leave, each one has a chance to congratulate them personally (and usually to hug them too). They go outside to wait for the happy couple to emerge from the temple for further celebrations.

In the temple, we dress all in white. This symbolizes purity and that we are all equal before God. Because of this, grooms don't wear their tuxes for the sealing ceremony. It's up to women whether or not they want to wear their wedding dress, but if they do, it needs to be truly white--not ivory or off-white, and it needs to have long sleeves (I've heard that many temples have sleeve insets they can loan you if you have short sleeves). I decided to be married in my temple dress instead of my wedding dress, mostly because I'm a romantic I guess. I knew I'd only wear my wedding dress a couple times in my life, but I'd wear my temple dress often, and I thought it would make my temple dress more special to me if I wore it during my marriage ceremony.

All of that is to say, the happy couple don't emerge immediately from the temple. I changed into my wedding dress and fixed up my hair a bit. Trevor changed into his tux. When we were ready, we came out to greet our friends and family. That's when wedding pictures start in our faith--the moment the newlyweds exit the temple. As they come out, their friends and family are there to cheer and celebrate their new marriage.

Everyone waiting for us outside

You may have noticed that there is no aisle in the sealing room. There is no processional at the start of the service. Sometimes people will still designate bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girls and ring bearers. But they don't participate in the wedding ceremony. Their main role (at least in my opinion!) is to dress to match the wedding party and to look good in all the pictures. Sometimes they will stand in the receiving line at the wedding reception. But there isn't much for them to do--the title of bridesmaid or groomsman is really just symbolic more than anything.

Since between the two of us, Trevor and I have 5 sisters, 2 brothers, 2 brothers-in-law, and a niece and nephew, we decided that our family would be our wedding party. :)

Missing from the pic--my sister-in-law Kimber.

Of course our parents dressed to match too. :)

Sealing rooms are often not very big, and so often only close friends and family are invited to the actual sealing ceremony. We were married in a sealing room that could only seat 45, and between our extended families, we had more than enough people to fill it up (although we did manage to get a few friends in there too! :).

So in our culture, most wedding guests are invited just to attend the wedding reception. When a bride and groom have families in separate states like Trevor and I, usually the groom's family will host an open house and the bride's family will have a reception, so people in both states can celebrate with us.

Our receptions and open houses are pretty laid back. The sealing is simple, and it is also the most important part of the wedding celebrations, since it is the actual wedding! Receptions and open houses are relatively simple too so as to not upstage the sealing. We kept ours really simple--basically just a chance for people to come say hello and congratulations, and grab a bite to eat while they were there. Some receptions are more elaborate. My sister Kristie had hers at a reception hall, so hers featured all the traditional dances--the first dance, the daddy daughter dance, whatever other dances there are. :) It's up to the bride and groom's taste of course, and I guess Trevor and I are just simple people. The biggest thing we did is cut our cake in front of everyone. We fed each other with forks and were sooooo careful not get cake on our clothes. We were teased a bit for not mashing it in each other's faces, but what can I say? That's not our style. :)

Recently our church released a great Youtube video that explains more about our wedding ceremonies. Here is it if you want to check it out:

I am grateful that through temple sealings, families can be together forever. I truly believe that families are central to God's plan for us in this life and in the life to come (heaven). I know that Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice opens the way for us to return to live with God and to be with our families eternally. I am so grateful for Him and His love for all of us. I bear testimony of Him in His holy name, Jesus Christ, amen.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

This may look like we didn't put together a couple costume and just pulled stuff out of our closets.

Which is mostly true... We wanted to be Mr. and Mrs. Incredible but it didn't pan out.

BUT! A true Trekkie such as myself looks at this and says, "Plato's Stepchildren or Who Mourns for Adonais?" (The answer is Who Mourns for Adonais, but with a happier ending and cuter/more realistic love story.)

One of the problems of loving a 1960s TV show is NO ONE gets references like this but me! :')

When a Non-Musician Marries a Musician

Okay, I admit it. Music has never been a deep passion with me. I love listening to it, but I've never devoted myself to the study and practice of musical performance.

I mean, sure, I had 6 years of piano lessons as a kid. My mom warned me when I quit that I'd regret it someday, that I might regret someday that I couldn't play in church when a pianist was needed. Since I hate performing in front of other people.... I have never regretted that.

I dabbled in choir in elementary school and middle school. But by the time I was 12, I was extremely self conscious of my voice. I remember distinctly a caroling trip I went on as a Beehive. I noticed that no matter where I went in the group, the people in front of me would glance back at me as I sang. In hindsight, this could have been for lots of reasons. I was typically towards the back of the group, and maybe they were looking for people from another car to arrive and looking at the road, not really at me. Or, they didn't notice my quiet stealthy self coming behind them, and they were startled to know I was there. It could have been a lot of things. Unfortunately 12 year old Shelece interpreted this as people judging me for singing badly, and I resolved to sing less in church. I would sing bits and pieces of the hymns, but trail off anytime I felt like I was off on a note, I would stop singing and mouth the words--which often meant skipping the high parts, the ends of lines, and sometimes even the beginning.

I did end up taking voice lessons from my aunt one summer, and though I learned a lot, I ultimately realized my heart wasn't in it. The kicker was when my aunt told me I could pick any church song I wanted, any song at all, to learn next. I went through the books and picked out... the Latter-day Prophets song. Why? Because I figured if I was going to learn a song, I might as well learn something useful like all the names of the prophets. My aunt allowed this, but later on, she admitted that she was very frustrated with my choice. She thought I'd pick something melodic and beautiful, but a song meant to serve as a memory device was... well, not what she was thinking of. That's when it occurred to me that I wasn't invested in music--it never occurred to me to pick a song because it sounded pretty and I wanted to sing it.

So fast forward a lot, and I fell in love with Trevor, who was born bleeding music from every pore. In our singles ward days, he launched a triward young single adult choir, and I came.... because I liked him. It was... all right. There were lots of choir newbies that he'd recruited. We didn't do any super hard songs. I lived in fear of days that I was the only soprano who showed up (I think that only happened once!), and I was super intimidated when our friend Daniel took over the choir directing, because his mom is a professional and he took things up a notch that was hard for me to meet. But he was still patient in teaching us very basic choir things that I didn't know--what the director's hand movements meant, what some of those weird Italian words meant on the page, etc. etc.

Trevor even got me to be part of some stake music choirs, which weren't so scary because the choirs were so big my voice didn't stand out. Although I learned quickly that choir is about critiquing the people around you to help the whole choir improve. People near me have often offered suggestions for me to improve. This is a normal thing, and their suggestions are helpful, but when I'm already terrified and self conscious, it just escalates the anxiety.

But in our new ward... oh man. Choir is on a higher level than I can possibly achieve. Almost everyone is super musical. They throw around music terms that I have no clue how to interpret but everyone else clearly gets it. We've been trying to learn Mormon Tabernacle Choir arrangements.... I am NOT a MoTab soprano!!! They go so impossibly high and I can't even touch it. I've been doing my best. I don't really read music, and I don't understand how to read parts. Other people can take an arrangement and look at it--they see which notes their part is, and off they go. I can't do that. Sometimes people will say something like, "Can you sing a high A?" I HAVE NO IDEA. I hear note names and I don't hear a corresponding noise in my head. I learn songs by listening to the music and trying to copy the people next to me. I realize I should raise my hand more and have them play my part, but I recognize that if I do that it's likely the Director will make us sing the part I'm confused about, and pay especial attention to my voice to see if I get it now.

Following other sopranos worked somewhat okay when I had a really strong singer next to me, but she has just moved away. Last week I skipped choir, and Trevor said no sopranos came. I was so grateful I didn't go. This week I was scared unto death to go because I thought I might be the only soprano there, but Trevor really really wanted me to go. So I showed up, and... there were 3 sopranos, me and two teenage girls. We did a warm-up. The Director brought out a MoTab arrangement he wants us to do that goes very very high. I noticed there were a few spots where sopranos sing alone, and I got very nervous. But things went worse than I ever imagined.... It was probably my fault (?!?!?!?). I mentioned that the timing at the end of the song was hard for me--all 4 parts sing amen at different speeds and a different amount of times, and I get lost almost every time. So we listened to a recording of the song twice, and then we tried to sing through it.

All 3 sopranos struggled so hard to hit the high notes, but I struggled more than any of them. (For any musically inclined people reading this... basically in this section we had to hit a high G and a high A.) And then.... the director's wife suggested that the sopranos should sing alone, since we were clearly a problem. So for the next eternity  20 minutes or so, the entire choir listened to us as we struggled... I could NOT hit the high notes. I sounded squeaky and breathy and horrible. IT WAS MY WORST NIGHTMARE COME TO LIFE. Here I am in choir so people can't hear my voice much, and I'm being called upon to suck at singing while everyone else in choir listens to me. People tried to help us by offering changes to the music (that meant very little to me. Let's bring that one part down an octave--okay, I get  that it won't be as high, but what note are we going for?). I was DYING. I did see a bit of humor--Trevor assured me that choir wasn't so bad, and then everything I ever feared about choir came true.

Fortunately... the Director soon realized that the Mormon Tabernacle Choir arrangement was far out of our reach, and had us sing "Nearer Our God to Thee". I could handle that... although I felt guilty that my failure was partially responsible for us switching to an easy song. He looked right at me as he said we'd switch to Nearer because it had a much smaller range and was easier to sing.

But at the same time.... I realized then that despite my newbieness and struggles, I'm not an awful singer. My guess is, the MoTab sopranos have an epic range. It's okay I don't. That doesn't mean I'm a failure. I am behind the curve of a lot of choir people because I'm just trying to learn this stuff at age 30.... but in a lot of ward choirs, that wouldn't be so out of place. There are ward choirs literally begging for people to join, experience or no.

It just so happens this choir is more advanced than that, and that's great! They can do a great job singing amazing musical numbers.... and I can listen from the audience and smile at them.

Or maybe I'll still hang in there, for Trevor's sake.... If we stick to Nearer My God to thee, I can handle that... Sorry to lower the quality of the choir, ward peoples! At least I'm trying to add my voice.

A Year Ago

A year ago, I was in a dark place.

I'd met Trevor a couple months before, but he'd never called me, and I wasn't sure if he'd lost interest or if he was busy finishing up his master's degree in Boulder. (Thank goodness it turned out to be the second option!)

I was navigating yet another quarter life crisis and trying to figure out what I needed to change to feel like I was progressing. I considered a PhD, and even purchased the books to study for taking the GRE again, but... I realized that truthfully, that wasn't what I wanted to do with my next five years.

I'd finally saved up enough for a down payment on a home, but every time I tried to get serious about house shopping, I just didn't feel good about it. Finally I prayed about it and felt pretty firmly that I shouldn't be buying a house just yet. So there went that option.

The bright spot in my life was my sweet little baby Molly.

Look how tiny she used to be!

Mother's Day came around. Shauna and I went to church with Mom and Dad--we were spending the day together as a family to support Mom for Mother's Day. I... didn't take it well. I felt like I was surrounded on all sides with women my age married for years with multiple kids. (Cuz... I mean, I was.) Salt in the wound.... the life I'd always longed for that seemed forever out of reach.

I came home and cried and cried. It was really embarrassing, because it was obviously putting a damper on my mom's special day. But my mother was really patient with me. She told me she thought that my husband was closer than I thought. Of course, we'd all said that before about my husband, and he hadn't showed. So I wasn't terribly optimistic (but she did help me feel better).

What I didn't know, and what I had no way of knowing, was that I was exactly one week away from going on my first date with Trevor.

It was a good thing I hadn't applied for any PhD programs--I needed to be here to date him. It was a good thing I hadn't bought a house--that meant we've been able to pick one out together, and build it with a family in mind. God had been reassuring me for years that everything would work out... and finally, it all came together.

I guess I am writing this to say... don't give up. Whatever trials you are facing, hang in there. Things can and will get better. You may not know when or how... and it may not be as soon as you are hoping for. But sometimes, the answer to your prayers really is just right around the corner.

As my cousin Natalie always says, it will all work out.

Grandpa Hansen

This last weekend, Trevor and I traveled to Pocatello for his grandfather's funeral. Trevor wrote a beautiful musical arrangement for the grandchildren to sing for the service, and he accompanied them on the piano. I think his grandpa would have loved it.

I didn't know Grandpa Hansen well, but in the time I got to spend with him, he was always so welcoming and loving. Of course I was a bit nervous joining a new family (I really wanted them to like me!), and it meant so much to me to be welcomed in with open arms.

He knew his death was coming, and he met it bravely. Trevor and I called him a week or so before his passing to say goodbye. He told us, "It's okay, I have lived a good life," and we could tell he meant it. He did his best to handle funeral preparations so his family wouldn't have to worry about it. My grandfather did that as well before he passed. It's a great final gift of love.

In the past few months, Ralph, President Monson, and now Grandpa Hansen have all passed on. Because of that, death is very much on my mind. What do I want to do with my life on the earth? What kind of legacy do I want to leave, and how do I want to be remembered? All three of these men were great men who changed people's lives for the better. I want to be like that someday too.

During our time in Idaho, we spent a lot of time with Trevor's extended family--aunts, uncles, and cousins (not to mention great-aunts and family friends!). At first I felt a little out of place, since I only knew a handful of people there and everyone else was related to each other. But they all went out of their way to make me feel welcome and like part of the family. I'm grateful for my in-laws, and I hope I can be as welcoming when our kids-in-law come along (looking pretty far ahead down the road, I know!)

Word of the Year Follow-up 2017

A few years back, Melissa challenged me to pick a "word of the year" each year... Essentially one word to sum up my New Year's Resolutions.

This year, I picked "Soar." My goal for 2017 was to soar to new heights. I admit when I chose it, I was struggling deeply with being 29 and single. I always thought I would be a wife and a mother, but I felt like my chances of that were dimming rapidly. Rather than focus on that, I wanted to find other ways to grow and develop as a person.

And I did. I dove more deeply into work and my calling. I learned new skills I'd never had before. I adopted a puppy. I tried to be a better person in every way I could.

In the midst of all this, I helped organize Colorado Springs' annual young single adult ball (Back to the Future themed!). I never once guessed that that ball would be the place where I would finally meet the love of my life.

Something clicked between Trevor and I right away. He got my number that night, but it was two months before our first date (!!!). After the ball he went back to Boulder to finish up his master's degree, and I was left to wonder if he'd lost interest, or if he figured he'd look me up when he got to the Springs.

Once he graduated and moved down here in May, things moved quickly. We were inseparable right away, and in three weeks, we were a couple. In two months, he proposed at the end of my last big YSA event, a conference in Denver.

Now we are happily married. I wish I could go back to last year's Shelece and let her know what was coming.

Trevor helps me soar in ways I never imagined. We really do compliment each other, and life is better together. We are alike in many ways, and in other ways, our differences balance each other out. He is brave when I am afraid. He is a wonderful patient teacher who talks me through trying new skills, and soothes my perfectionism when I'm not good at first. When I work late or have evening obligations, he gets dinner on the table for us. 

Life is better as a team. I'm excited to see what 2018 will hold for us.

Now some story time to explain how Trevor helps me soar.

I have a deep fear of drowning, something that has apparently been ingrained in my family for at least 4 generations (that's a story for another time). I know how to swim, but the ocean intimidates me anyway. But while we were in Hawaii, we wanted to try snorkeling. One of my coworkers even gifted us a snorkel rental, so we were all set! We did some internet research and decided to snorkel in a peaceful bay not that far from our hotel (I think it's called Kapalua Bay).

Us beside the bay after our snorkeling adventure.

But as I stood on the beach in my awkward swim fins, trying to master breathing through a snorkel, I psyched myself out. What if my fins got tangled or something? What if we swam out too deep and the waves got us? I ventured out into the water beside Trevor, trying to be calm, but once I could tell we were swimming into water deeper than I could stand up in, I balked. I told Trevor to go have fun, and I'd stay close to shore.

Trevor knew what to do. He encouraged me just to relax and float for a minute. He showed me that between our fins and the salt water, we could float with no effort. We were in no danger of sinking. That wiped a lot of my fear away in one go. Then he took my hand and led me into deeper waters. The rest of my fears vanished as I realized he would be right there to help me if anything weird did happen (it didn't... the water in that bay was so calm and peaceful and relaxing!).

I am so grateful he got me out there to savor the experience. Snorkeling is like visiting another world. There were so many beautiful bright colored fish, and we even encountered an adorable sea turtle. Once Trevor got me to relax, I discovered that snorkeling is VERY relaxing and not frightening at all. I would definitely give it a try again.

As another example... Towards the end of our honeymoon, we took a day to drive through the rain forest on the legendary road to Hana. GPS signals don't come through great out there, and we went out without a map or anything. We knew there are lots of cool things you can stop to see along the way, and we just identified them by noticing places where lots of cars parked and people got out to look at things. At one point we pulled over next to a bamboo forest. There were a lot of people farther back, congregating at a trailhead of some kind. But as we walked towards them, Trevor found a small opening in the bamboo with stairs leading down onto a narrow path. We followed it down until we found a beautiful waterfall at the end of the trail.

We were the only ones there. It was very romantic! Trevor took the lead winding deeper through the bamboo, until our trail connected with the much wider main trail. We wandered around until we found another bigger waterfall.

No, that person out there isn't Trevor, just some random guy. :)

We ran into many tourists on that trail. We found out there are 3 waterfalls in that area that people stop to see. Two are easy to find--one is not, and that was the one we found first. We gave directions to a few people who hadn't managed to track it down.

Wandering around in a bamboo forest felt like something straight out of an Indiana Jones movie. I loved it. With Trevor around, I felt perfectly safe, but I have to admit, I never would have tried that on my own. He makes me braver.

I'm excited to see what new adventures 2018 is going to offer! Our adventures will probably be closer to home (well, mine will be... Trevor is going to hike Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa late in the year!) but I'm sure they will still be epic. Life in itself is an adventure after all!

Piano Lesson

Be warned--this happy little bride is probably going to write several posts about her new hubby. I'm very much in a sappy newlywed kind of mood. :)

Today I wanted to share a memory from our 3rd date... one of the first times I knew there was something different about Trevor from any other man I'd ever dated.

This was back on Memorial Day. We had an epic full day together planned--first, attending the YSA Memorial Day picnic, then going mini-golfing, and then ending the day with dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was excited for the date, but I was also really nervous about it. I think I realized that we were moving quickly towards a relationship--he'd only been in the area a little over a week, and we'd already spent time together almost everyday. Yet we still didn't know each other very well, and I didn't want us to become involved only for one or both of us to have our hearts broken.

Towards the end of the picnic, we found ourselves inside the church building, and of course Trevor wanted to go find a piano. (If you know Trevor at all, you know he is very passionate about music--and piano and organ in particular). I thought he'd want to play something for me, but instead, he asked me to play something for him. I tried to beg off. I took piano lessons as a kid, but I never enjoyed them. I would rather be off writing a story or reading a book than playing a song on the piano. I gave up piano by the time I hit high school and never looked back.

But somehow Trevor coaxed me into sitting down and attempting a hymn. He offered to play the left hand for me while I played the right. Oh man.... it was a mess. I could barely remember how to read music. I had to stop in between notes to recite in my head "Every good boy deserves fudge" as I struggled to figure out what I should even be playing. Even with that, I still played plenty of wrong notes, and my pace was about at sloth speed. My playing was definitely not recognizable as a hymn. Man, I thought, this is so embarrassing! 

Then it hit me--I wasn't actually feeling embarrassed. There I was, butchering one of Trevor's favorite pastimes, and I realized that somehow I still felt relaxed and at peace. I knew he wasn't judging me.

I am a perfectionist. I hate being bad at things, especially in front of other people. I realized that with any other guy, I wouldn't be feeling this way. With any of my crushes in the past, I would have felt totally humiliated failing at their favorite hobby in front of them. With men I wasn't into, my humiliation would probably have turned into anger that they "made" me do something I was so bad at.

But with Trevor... I felt totally at peace. I felt safe--somehow I knew he was someone I could show my weaknesses to, and he wouldn't be harsh or judgmental about them. I could just be my real self.

That moment and that realization were very powerful for me. Something was different with this man--and knowing that gave me to courage to keep moving ahead to see what would happen next. Thank goodness I did!

Love at First Sight

Please excuse a sappy post from a new bride. :)

Do you believe in love at first sight? I sure didn't.

I guess in my mind, love at first sight played out like the opening scene of Disney's Enchanted. Giselle literally falls into the Prince's lap, they lay eyes on each other for the first time, and after politely asking for Giselle's name, the Prince declares "We shall be married in the morning!" One look is all it takes, and then they ride off into the sunset together back to the Prince's castle.

Totally unrealistic. Completely impossible.

But maybe that's not how love at first sight works at all. I submit that love at first sight isn't love at all in the beginning. It's an instant attraction, an instant pull to each other, a spark and a connection and a giddiness to be with the other person... the sort of thing that often takes a while to develop, appearing suddenly at a first meeting.... If you're both lucky enough to have it, you act on it. You spend time together getting to know one another.... and if you're really lucky, that feeling builds and builds until it blossoms into full-blown love.

Love at first sight means there was never an instant that you've known this person when you weren't attracted to them, when you weren't hoping for a happy ending.

A disclaimer here. Love can come in many ways and in many different speeds of course. Love at first sight isn't superior to slowly falling for an old friend, or realizing a few dates in that you like this gentleman far more than you thought. The important thing isn't how love comes into our lives, but what it grows to be.

I never thought I'd be someone to fall in love at first sight. I was someone typically slow to warm up to any man I was interested in. I found that I usually had to know a man for at least a month before I'd feel the slightest feelings for him. I discovered it was easier for me to get to know men as friends and develop interest from there, rather than jump into dating right away. When a man asked me out when we first met, there was just too much pressure in trying to evaluate if this perfect stranger was someone I wanted to marry or not. Silly, maybe, but true for me.

And then, I met Trevor.

It wasn't like a scene from a fairy tale. I didn't look at him and just know. The heavens didn't open and an angelic choir didn't sing out to let me know that I'd found my prince charming.

But right away, we were attracted to each other. When we talked, we just... clicked. We liked each other like that and we wanted to get to know each other better.

When Trevor moved to the Springs, we connected again at his first YSA activity. We made arrangements to go to a church event together that Sunday. Saturday night beforehand, we ended up sitting together at a fireside. And we were inseparable after that. Right from the get go we were going on 2 dates a week and spending time together at church, at FHE, at institute, at the Friday night mingles. We were together almost every day. And it felt so natural to be together all that time. It just felt... right.

Before, I would go out on dates with men I wasn't sure about for probably longer than I should have. Sometimes 5 or 6 dates, saying yes when they asked again because I had a good time with them, even though I wasn't completely sold yet on committing to them. And then all of a sudden (or so it would appear to me!) they would ask me to be their girlfriend, and I'd scramble and take a step back. I'd have to tell them that although I enjoyed our time together, I was not ready to commit. I wasn't saying I wouldn't ever be, but I wasn't yet. Then I'd go home and stress and over-analyze and eventually, always come to the conclusion that while I had fun with these guys, I didn't want a long-term relationship with them. I couldn't imagine marrying them. I'd break the news as gently as I could, and that was that.

But when Trevor asked me to be his girlfriend, only three weeks into our dating, I thought, What took you so long? and my answer was the easiest in the world.

Everything with us was so easy. There was never any chick flick drama--no airport chase scene, no last minute dramatic reveal that threatened to rip us apart, no anguished and frightened declarations of love. We liked each other, we got to know each other better, we fell in love, and it was all very open and sincere and sweet.

Now here I am, Trevor's wife, sealed to him for time and all eternity. All those hopes that were born in the instant that we met came true. It's amazing to think about. I am so grateful this wonderful man came into my life. Everyday with him seems to be better than the last. I am excited for the rest of our lives together.

30

A year ago I set a goal to make 29 the best year of my twenties--more than anything else, Trevor helped me reach that goal! :) Trevor and I went on our first date one day before he turned 25. Now we are getting married the week after I turn 30. I like to say that we are each other's birthday presents this year.

30 used to seem like such an intimidating number... I guess it seemed old to me. But now that I'm here, I realize that 30 is very much in the prime of life. I still have my best years ahead of me!

Today was an awesome birthday! My family took me and Trevor out to Chili's for dinner. They've changed their menu recently. I couldn't resist trying the fiery pepper chicken. It was DELICIOUS--but it burned so much it made me cry and I wasn't able to finish it. Not sure I would recommend...

Afterwards Trevor gave me a ride home. He offered to drive the car up to the restaurant to get me because it was so cold outside (it actually started snowing!). When I got in the car, he presented me with a half dozen hot pink roses. :)

At my place, we had a delicious chocolate cake (a test run for our wedding cake here in a few weeks!). I ALMOST succeeded in blowing out the 30 candles in one go. There were four stubborn ones in random places that didn't go out. Better luck next year!

Carest Thou Not?

Trevor and I went to what is probably our last ever institute class last night (!!!). We were studying Mark 1-7. When we got to the story of the Lord calming the wind and the waves (Mark 4:37-41), Trevor raised his hand to share an insight that really hit me (and I think it hit several other people in the class, too!).

I wish I could say it as beautifully as he did... Essentially he asked how often we ask that question in our own lives. How often when we are in the midst of life's storms and waves, when we see no end to our problems or any way to get through them, how often then do we assume that God is asleep or that He doesn't care because He's not taking our problems away? "Carest thou not that we perish?" "Don't you care how much I'm hurting? Don't you see what I'm going through right now?"

But God always cares. Always. He is with us in our trials. Sometimes He calms the storm, and sometimes He calms His child--if we let Him. We can trust that He will not let us sink beneath our trials--instead, if we rely on Him, we can learn from them and come out stronger than ever.

Insta-Flashback

Do you ever just scroll through your Instagram or your Facebook or whatever and marvel at how your life has changed? I suppose blog scrolling would be another good option too.

Today I took a few minutes to do that. When I turned 29, I set a goal to make my last year of my twenties the best year. I wasn't sure what that would look like. During the summer of 2016, I'd taken my dream trip to London and Paris, so with that in my mind I thought I would focus on traveling, learning new things, having exciting experiences.

There has been some of that this year. But mostly, it's been the best year because of my loved ones and the time I've spent with them. It's amazing how much has changed in my family just over the last year.


Last fall, both Kristie and Jason came home from their missions. I moved out of the house when Kristie was only 10. She was home from September to January, and during that time, we spent more time together than we have in a very long while. We had lots of sister bonding moments and lots of fun adventures.

Once Jason was back, we had our whole family living together in the same place for 6 weeks or so. We all knew it was likely our last hurrah (the last time we'd all live at home) and so we really tried to enjoy our time together. In December we took an awesome family trip out to SLC to see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert, and it was very much on my mind that it might be our last trip before people started spreading out and getting married. But I had no idea just how close that time was--on that very trip, Kristie went on her first date with her now-husband, and the rest is history!

Once 2017 rolled around, I thought seriously about making a big change in my life. I'd essentially given up on marriage, and I wanted to make some changes so I could live a more fulfilling life as a single woman. I wasn't sure what that would be. I considered a PhD or buying a home, but I realized I didn't really want to go back to school, and I didn't feel right about buying a home for some reason. Eventually I decided to adopt a puppy. I'd always planned to wait until my kids were old enough to ask for a dog, but it seemed to me I might never have kids, and that I'd waited long enough. My instagram feed becomes clogged with Molly pics after that--so strange to think that she's only been part of my life for a few months, really! She's grown up so much from when I brought her home as a tiny little furball (I see one instagram post where her breeder told me she was a healthy 4 pounds. She's three times that big now!).

The same week I got Molly (February 18 is her gotcha day!), I flew out for Melissa's wedding. I was so happy for her that she finally found her Prince Charming! Actually, now that I think about it, that was the same week Kristie got engaged too, and I was very happy for her! But at the same time, these moments reminded me of how my life hadn't gone according to plan. I remember recommitting myself to my plan to make my single life the best it could be.

That was more ironic than I could ever have realized, because I was only two weeks away from meeting my future husband. On March 4, I helped host Colorado Springs annual YSA Ball--Back to the Future themed this time! As I was running around finishing the set up, I saw Trevor for the first time in the hallway. He'd been in the Springs looking for housing that day and decided to stop by. Of course I noticed he was cute. I overheard him telling someone he'd be moving to the Springs soon. I thought of going to say hi.... but I didn't. Right away I thought, what is the point? So maybe we'd flirt a little at the dance. Maybe he'd even get my number and we'd go on a date or two. It won't go anywhere--it never does. Either he'll lose interest or I will. So I went on my way without a word to him.

At the beginning of the ball, there was a formal dinner. We had seats for 180 people or so. I picked a table to sit at. And... out of all the tables in that room, Trevor ended up sitting at mine. He was with a guy giving him advice about housing (Mitch, if anyone is curious!) and Mitch decided they should sit with us. I couldn't help but wonder if I was getting a second chance to talk to Trevor. He introduced himself and we got to talk a bit... and the more we talked, the more I realized that for the first time in a while, I was actually interested in this boy. I really wanted him to get my number.

We weren't sitting next to each other. He was across the table and a seat or two down from me, and we soon got pulled into conversations with the people closer to us. And then as dinner ended, I had to dash off to get the dance launched. I don't remember how long I was out there running around. I do remember that when I made it back into the gym, I ran into Trevor almost right away (he says he was looking for me!) and it was a slow song, so he asked me to dance. I don't remember everything we talked about, but I do remember he asked what I do for fun and he seemed to be listening closely--I hoped he was scoping out date ideas. When the song ended, we stood there and just kept talking. Everything seemed to be going well until he asked how old I was and we discovered I was 29 and he was 24. I thought it was all over there, and so I backed off my flirting quite a bit in case he was scared off by my age. But, he still asked me for my number. He told me he had to take off because he had a long drive back to Boulder, but he'd be back in a couple weeks to check out more housing options, and he'd move to the Springs in May.

I watched him leave the dance, and I knew there was no way I would meet anyone else who could compete that night.

I didn't hear much from him after that. I did see him briefly when he came back to the Springs to work on housing, but he was mostly focused on talking to guys to see if anyone needed a roommate. During the next two months, I thought about him now and then and wondered if he'd vanished because he lost interest, or if he was just buried in finishing up his master's degree, and when he appeared he'd ask me out.

And then one Friday night he showed up at the weekly YSA activities I was in charge of. It was a Pinewood Derby night. My guy friends had tried to teach me the trick to building a super car, but I decided I didn't want to worry about it too much and threw together a car from a kit that soon claimed its place as the slowest car of the night. (Which I was ridiculously proud of--if you have a slow car, it might as well be the slowest!) Meanwhile Trevor brought one of his childhood cars and won for being the fastest. You can see snippets of this on my Instagram--a pic of my car, and a couple videos of it slowly approaching the finish line--in one, you can catch a glimpse of Trevor.

I was happy to see him there, but also cautious. I played it cool and didn't hover near him. It seemed to me like he went to talk to every other girl before me (he says it was more like they talked to him!). But towards the end of the night, Trevor came to talk to me before he left. He asked me about some upcoming events, including the Baccalaureate Service that Sunday at the Air Force Academy. Seated was limited so they were giving out tickets to make sure we didn't overflow the AFA Chapel. I knew my dad had a stack of tickets at home (he's a bishop) so I offered to give him one. Then Trevor asked about a carpool to the service. It would have been a golden opportunity to offer him a ride, but I didn't. I didn't want to be too forward. So I told him I was sure he would catch a ride with someone after church. But at the end of our conversation, Trevor brought it up again. "Are you sure there's not a carpool? How are you getting there? Are you going with your family?" I decided maybe he really did want to go with me, and I told him he could come with me and Lori.

Then I went home and thought about it a little. I called Lori up and told her I had a date to the baccalaureate so we wouldn't be able to drive up together.

The next night, Sister Dalton gave a fireside (she was the speaker at the Baccalaureate Service). I saw Trevor come in and sit down by himself in the back. All of a sudden I felt shy. I wanted to invite him to sit with me, but wasn't that kind of forward? No, no, it was just being friendly, so he wouldn't have to sit alone. I turned and smiled and waved at him, and gestured to him to come join me.

Since then.... we've basically been inseparable. It wasn't long before we became official... Actually I think that was the same week Kristie got married! Now here we are, engaged and counting down the days to the wedding.

If you'd told me a year ago where I'd be now... I wouldn't have believed you for a second. It's crazy to think about everything that has happened in a year. It makes me wonder what the future is going to hold.

New blog coming soon

Nothing there yet, but... I went ahead and reserved the blog URL http://SheleceAndTrevor.blogspot.com. :)

Not sure yet how this will work, if I will end up switching to that one completely or if I'll just put coupley things there. I'll keep you posted!

Total Eclipse

Trevor and I had an awesome weekend! First we headed up to Breckenridge with a group of his friends from Boulder. We stayed at one friend's grandma's cabin (a gorgeous three story place complete with a backyard! The women slept on the top floor, and the men slept in the basement). On Friday night we celebrated our arrival with a bonfire and s'mores. Trevor has completely mastered the art of roasting marshmallows--seriously, he can make them perfect.

Then on Saturday we got up early to drive up to Glenwood Springs. First up we hiked Hanging Lake--a beautiful hike that I think is one of my favorites. I went there once as a kid for a family reunion. It was even prettier than I remembered!

And I guess we had good timing, because I read in the news today that they are closing it soon for trail maintenance, and once it reopens, they are going to limit the number of hikers and possibly start charging a fee.

After that it was back to Glenwood Springs to wander around and check out the town. In the evening we headed back to Breckenridge. We found an amazing restaurant called Soupz On, which I give 5 stars for customer service, cost, and great food. It was about half an hour from closing when we got there. We ordered the broccoli cheddar soup and the woman working there gave us a discount because she didn't feel like there was much broccoli in it. Some bread came with our meal, and she loaded us up with lots of extra since she was about to close anyways.

On Sunday, we went to church in Frisco (such a beautiful place right up in the mountains!) and then spent our time in the cabin working on life and wedding planning. (I admit at one point I convinced Trevor to take the Myers-Briggs test--turns out he is an INFJ just like me! That explains many things.)

Then on Monday, we drove up to Wyoming to see the total eclipse. We were heading for a town called Glendo (population 200--I think they ended up with like 100,000 guests!) but we decided to pull over a little early and park along a frontage road. I think we had the perfect spot.

Totality was amazing! The sun completely disappeared behind the moon, and it was safe to look up at with our naked eyes. A few stars came out. We had a 360 view of "sunsets" on the horizon (take a look at the video to see what I mean). It felt like a once in a lifetime experience.... but I'm also determined to make it to all the solar eclipses we can in the future! (Here's looking at you, 2024!)

Once totality was over we headed back to Colorado to beat the traffic, and I think we did for the most part--we made it back by 7 or so.

Anyway, it was an awesome weekend and I'm excited for more adventures in our future!

All I Ask Of You (PS I'm Engaged!!)

I've always hoped that when I got engaged, the proposal would be simple, sweet, and sentimental, something private with just the two of us... and of course I wanted him to get down on one knee.

Well.... on Saturday night, Trevor knocked it out of the park with a perfect Shelece proposal. :)

This last weekend was the Denver Regional YSA Conference in Highlands Ranch. I was on the planning committee, so I was a little stressed out beforehand about how it would all go. Trevor was very supportive and came up with me. He mentioned to me that this was a big week for me, which in hindsight maybe should have clued me in, but I was convinced he was going to propose on August 4, because we had a special date planned for that day.

We slipped out of the conference a little early, because we were tired and we had a long drive back (at least, I thought that was the reason!). On our way out, I stopped to say goodbye to Sister Langston who headed up the planning committee. Trevor disappeared while we were talking, and then returned with a beautiful purple rose for me that he snagged from the conference decorations. (Which matched perfectly with the purple outfits we were both wearing). It was very sweet.

Once we were in the car, Trevor pointed out the gorgeous sunset and talked about how really this was the sunset of my YSA days. We usually listen to instrumental music while we are driving, and I realized that his playlist for that night had a lot of love songs. He kept making sweet comments tying me into the music. And then the song "Memory" came on, and Trevor asked me to share some of my favorite memories of our time dating. We had a great time creating our own little highlights reel. That's when I started to wonder if that night would be the night.

And then Trevor told me that before he took me home, we had to make a "short detour--emphasis on tour." We went to the Jamboree church building where we've spent so much of our time together. He took me on a tour and reminded me of many of the good times we've had there, like the Pinewood Derby activity where we first reconnected after he moved here (originally we met at the Back to the Future Ball in March--our love story probably deserves its own post :).

Trevor is a very gifted pianist and organist. I love to listen to him play, and sometimes he has me turn the pages for him when he's playing longer songs. He asked me if I'd be willing to do that again. He pulled out a Phantom of the Opera song book, and he played "All I Ask of You." When I turned the first page, I noticed he'd edited the lyrics a bit.

:)

When the song was over, I waited for him to ask the crucial question, but he said he wasn't quite done yet.

We went out to the hallway near a painting of Captain Moroni. Our very first date was to the Air Force Academy's baccalaureate service for the graduating cadets, and the painting was gifted to the YSAs at that time. We helped pack it up at the end of the service. Trevor and I spent a minute reminiscing about our first date. I wasn't sure it was a date at the time--he'd asked me for a ride, and I ended up bringing lunch for us beforehand and making sure we were one on one to make it date like, but I wasn't sure what he was thinking. We had the chance to meet the keynote speaker, Sister Elaine S. Dalton, and she asked me who Trevor was: "And this is your...?" "Uh.... Friend." Trevor apparently wasn't very happy with that answer at the time... but it all worked out in the end!

There is a plaque on the painting that says, "For the Blessings of Liberty" (the painting's name). Unfortunately it is not attached very well and so it always falls off, and we are constantly trying to put it back up. So I didn't think too much of it when Trevor bent down to get it... until he was kneeling on one knee and looking up at me.

I love that I've got a rose to match the one on the Phantom cover, and that Trevor is in the same pose as Moroni. :)

Trevor told me that he would be my Captain Moroni if I would be his title of liberty. I loved that. I've always wanted to find my own Captain Moroni. I remember in Young Women's they'd always tell us to find someone like him: "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17).

We'd actually picked out our rings already, but it turns out my fingers are freakishly small (size 4!) and the rings I like best in the twist style have to be custom made to fit me. There is one ordered, but it will take 6-8 weeks to get here. So, in the meantime, he made me a temporary ring out of a key ring because "you hold the key to my heart." :)

Then came the golden question, "Will you marry me?" "Of course, yes!"

:) :) :) It was all so adorable and I am so happy!

The perfect touch at the end--as we left the building, it was raining, so we got to kiss in the rain.

We are planning on getting married on November 4, exactly 8 months from the day we met. Stay tuned for more details! I am so grateful Trevor came into my life, and I'm excited for our future together.

For those wondering...

A couple pics of me and my boyfriend on our way to a YSA dance last weekend.