What Happens at a Mormon Wedding?

My husband and I were married in the Salt Lake City temple. Weddings in our faith (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--most people call us the Mormon church) usually take place in a temple, and only faithful members of our church attend. So there are a lot of questions out there about what our weddings are really like and what we are doing inside the temple.

Our wedding ceremonies are simple. They take place in what we call "sealing rooms" (below is a pic of a sealing room in another temple).

Guests are seated prior to the marriage. The bride and groom come in together and sit together on a small couch on one end of the room. The sealer (the man who officiates over the wedding ceremony) speaks to the couple for a few minutes--he will often share advice about marriage and remind the couple of the sacredness of the covenants that they will be making.

Then he calls the couple up to the altar in the middle of the room. The groom escorts his bride to the altar, and the couple kneel across from each other as they are married. The ceremony is simple, sweet, and sacred.  The couple promise God that they will honor and love each other completely, and that they will follow the teachings and example of Jesus Christ. Once the sealing is complete, the bride and groom kiss across the altar, and if they want to, they exchange rings. Some couples opt to exchange rings outside of the temple instead. Either way is fine since the ring exchange is not part of the temple sealing. We chose to exchange our rings in the sealing room.

Sealing rooms have mirrors hanging on the walls on either side of the altar.

One way that our weddings are unique is that we are not married until death do us part. We are married for "time and all eternity"--in other words, for the rest of our lives, and forever and forever in heaven after death. We consider our temple marriages to be eternal. These mirrors symbolize that eternal connection. Since they face each other, their reflections bounce off each other. When you stand together and look into the mirrors, you see your reflections repeating endlessly (see the pic above) into eternity. For me it was a powerful moment to look into those mirrors with Trevor after we were sealed.

After that, the bride and groom usually stand at the front of the room, and as the guests leave, each one has a chance to congratulate them personally (and usually to hug them too). They go outside to wait for the happy couple to emerge from the temple for further celebrations.

In the temple, we dress all in white. This symbolizes purity and that we are all equal before God. Because of this, grooms don't wear their tuxes for the sealing ceremony. It's up to women whether or not they want to wear their wedding dress, but if they do, it needs to be truly white--not ivory or off-white, and it needs to have long sleeves (I've heard that many temples have sleeve insets they can loan you if you have short sleeves). I decided to be married in my temple dress instead of my wedding dress, mostly because I'm a romantic I guess. I knew I'd only wear my wedding dress a couple times in my life, but I'd wear my temple dress often, and I thought it would make my temple dress more special to me if I wore it during my marriage ceremony.

All of that is to say, the happy couple don't emerge immediately from the temple. I changed into my wedding dress and fixed up my hair a bit. Trevor changed into his tux. When we were ready, we came out to greet our friends and family. That's when wedding pictures start in our faith--the moment the newlyweds exit the temple. As they come out, their friends and family are there to cheer and celebrate their new marriage.

Everyone waiting for us outside

You may have noticed that there is no aisle in the sealing room. There is no processional at the start of the service. Sometimes people will still designate bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girls and ring bearers. But they don't participate in the wedding ceremony. Their main role (at least in my opinion!) is to dress to match the wedding party and to look good in all the pictures. Sometimes they will stand in the receiving line at the wedding reception. But there isn't much for them to do--the title of bridesmaid or groomsman is really just symbolic more than anything.

Since between the two of us, Trevor and I have 5 sisters, 2 brothers, 2 brothers-in-law, and a niece and nephew, we decided that our family would be our wedding party. :)

Missing from the pic--my sister-in-law Kimber.

Of course our parents dressed to match too. :)

Sealing rooms are often not very big, and so often only close friends and family are invited to the actual sealing ceremony. We were married in a sealing room that could only seat 45, and between our extended families, we had more than enough people to fill it up (although we did manage to get a few friends in there too! :).

So in our culture, most wedding guests are invited just to attend the wedding reception. When a bride and groom have families in separate states like Trevor and I, usually the groom's family will host an open house and the bride's family will have a reception, so people in both states can celebrate with us.

Our receptions and open houses are pretty laid back. The sealing is simple, and it is also the most important part of the wedding celebrations, since it is the actual wedding! Receptions and open houses are relatively simple too so as to not upstage the sealing. We kept ours really simple--basically just a chance for people to come say hello and congratulations, and grab a bite to eat while they were there. Some receptions are more elaborate. My sister Kristie had hers at a reception hall, so hers featured all the traditional dances--the first dance, the daddy daughter dance, whatever other dances there are. :) It's up to the bride and groom's taste of course, and I guess Trevor and I are just simple people. The biggest thing we did is cut our cake in front of everyone. We fed each other with forks and were sooooo careful not get cake on our clothes. We were teased a bit for not mashing it in each other's faces, but what can I say? That's not our style. :)

Recently our church released a great Youtube video that explains more about our wedding ceremonies. Here is it if you want to check it out:

I am grateful that through temple sealings, families can be together forever. I truly believe that families are central to God's plan for us in this life and in the life to come (heaven). I know that Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice opens the way for us to return to live with God and to be with our families eternally. I am so grateful for Him and His love for all of us. I bear testimony of Him in His holy name, Jesus Christ, amen.

Dress Update!!

It all worked out!!! :) The dress arrived on Friday night around 5:20... unfortunately just missing an appointment I had set up with a seamstress at 5. I had 36 hours to decide whether or not to keep the dress, so I was a bit stressed out.

But I had a backup appointment set up with another seamstress for yesterday morning at 10:30. She looked at it and said right away that she could fix it to fit me. She actually adjusted the waist right there while I waited. When I tried it on again that second time and saw myself in the mirror... I knew I made the right choice saying yes to this dress! :) I go back next week for a full dress fitting and I'm very excited to see how it turns out!

Now if I can just figure out the rest of this wedding planning stuff...

Quest for a Dress

You guys! I may have just scored my dream dress for my wedding! I hope I hope I hope!

I've had this one particular dress pinned to my wedding board for years.... THE dream dress, one that reminds me quite a bit of Cinderella (okay, so my inner child is in play here....). But unfortunately it was discontinued last year. It's sort of a unique style, and I couldn't find anything else quite like it.

I got over it. There are so many pretty wedding dresses in the world! But it's hard to find ones that fit LDS standards--that requires a high back, sleeves, and a higher neckline. That's nigh unto impossible to find outside of the Mormon belt (Utah, Idaho, Arizona) although I did find a couple possibilities here in town. There are some very kind women at some of the bridal salons here that know all about LDS standards who were happy to work with me.

I was also perusing my options online, but even there things were tricky. I needed to find something in stock because it usually takes 4-6 months to order in a wedding dress, and I need something by November!

As the first month of my engagement ticked by with absolutely no luck in my wedding dress search, I started to panic a little bit. Last week in a desperate attempt to cast a wider net, I tried different search terms on Google. I think I typed in something like "modest wedding dresses shipping". I'd thought that I'd found all the modest dresses on the whole internet, but that brought up a lot more options. Including Petals and Promises, a bridal shop in Logan Utah with a very wide stock. As I looked through their pictures, I was surprised to stumble upon my dream dress.... on sale, since it had been discontinued... and yes, it was in my size!! I read the store policies and was over the moon to find out they do ship dresses to other locations.

A little more searching, and I found the same dress at a place in Murray Utah, again in my size (what are the odds?). Unfortunately that place doesn't ship, but I felt good having a backup.

Of course, ordering this dress online is a bit of a risk. I've never tried it on. Beautiful as it is, it might not look good on my body type, or it might not hit my waist just right, or something like that. There's also a chance it will be too small. The waists in this brand of dress run very small--everything hinges on whether there is enough seam allowance to take it out to fit me.

But I decided to go for it. I'll have 36 hours to return it after it gets here, if it doesn't work. At Petals and Promises recommendation, I've set up an appointment with a seamstress to take a look and let me know if it's a good fit.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!! How perfect would it be if my random internet search lead me to the dress of my dreams? (And how disappointing if it doesn't! Oh well, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.)

(PS: If you're wondering why I'm not including any pics.... it's because I think part of the fun of the wedding day is surprising people with your dress! But if you are really curious and you ask nicely, I will probably show you.)

All I Ask Of You (PS I'm Engaged!!)

I've always hoped that when I got engaged, the proposal would be simple, sweet, and sentimental, something private with just the two of us... and of course I wanted him to get down on one knee.

Well.... on Saturday night, Trevor knocked it out of the park with a perfect Shelece proposal. :)

This last weekend was the Denver Regional YSA Conference in Highlands Ranch. I was on the planning committee, so I was a little stressed out beforehand about how it would all go. Trevor was very supportive and came up with me. He mentioned to me that this was a big week for me, which in hindsight maybe should have clued me in, but I was convinced he was going to propose on August 4, because we had a special date planned for that day.

We slipped out of the conference a little early, because we were tired and we had a long drive back (at least, I thought that was the reason!). On our way out, I stopped to say goodbye to Sister Langston who headed up the planning committee. Trevor disappeared while we were talking, and then returned with a beautiful purple rose for me that he snagged from the conference decorations. (Which matched perfectly with the purple outfits we were both wearing). It was very sweet.

Once we were in the car, Trevor pointed out the gorgeous sunset and talked about how really this was the sunset of my YSA days. We usually listen to instrumental music while we are driving, and I realized that his playlist for that night had a lot of love songs. He kept making sweet comments tying me into the music. And then the song "Memory" came on, and Trevor asked me to share some of my favorite memories of our time dating. We had a great time creating our own little highlights reel. That's when I started to wonder if that night would be the night.

And then Trevor told me that before he took me home, we had to make a "short detour--emphasis on tour." We went to the Jamboree church building where we've spent so much of our time together. He took me on a tour and reminded me of many of the good times we've had there, like the Pinewood Derby activity where we first reconnected after he moved here (originally we met at the Back to the Future Ball in March--our love story probably deserves its own post :).

Trevor is a very gifted pianist and organist. I love to listen to him play, and sometimes he has me turn the pages for him when he's playing longer songs. He asked me if I'd be willing to do that again. He pulled out a Phantom of the Opera song book, and he played "All I Ask of You." When I turned the first page, I noticed he'd edited the lyrics a bit.

:)

When the song was over, I waited for him to ask the crucial question, but he said he wasn't quite done yet.

We went out to the hallway near a painting of Captain Moroni. Our very first date was to the Air Force Academy's baccalaureate service for the graduating cadets, and the painting was gifted to the YSAs at that time. We helped pack it up at the end of the service. Trevor and I spent a minute reminiscing about our first date. I wasn't sure it was a date at the time--he'd asked me for a ride, and I ended up bringing lunch for us beforehand and making sure we were one on one to make it date like, but I wasn't sure what he was thinking. We had the chance to meet the keynote speaker, Sister Elaine S. Dalton, and she asked me who Trevor was: "And this is your...?" "Uh.... Friend." Trevor apparently wasn't very happy with that answer at the time... but it all worked out in the end!

There is a plaque on the painting that says, "For the Blessings of Liberty" (the painting's name). Unfortunately it is not attached very well and so it always falls off, and we are constantly trying to put it back up. So I didn't think too much of it when Trevor bent down to get it... until he was kneeling on one knee and looking up at me.

I love that I've got a rose to match the one on the Phantom cover, and that Trevor is in the same pose as Moroni. :)

Trevor told me that he would be my Captain Moroni if I would be his title of liberty. I loved that. I've always wanted to find my own Captain Moroni. I remember in Young Women's they'd always tell us to find someone like him: "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17).

We'd actually picked out our rings already, but it turns out my fingers are freakishly small (size 4!) and the rings I like best in the twist style have to be custom made to fit me. There is one ordered, but it will take 6-8 weeks to get here. So, in the meantime, he made me a temporary ring out of a key ring because "you hold the key to my heart." :)

Then came the golden question, "Will you marry me?" "Of course, yes!"

:) :) :) It was all so adorable and I am so happy!

The perfect touch at the end--as we left the building, it was raining, so we got to kiss in the rain.

We are planning on getting married on November 4, exactly 8 months from the day we met. Stay tuned for more details! I am so grateful Trevor came into my life, and I'm excited for our future together.