Word of the Year: Reclaim

 First, let me say that 22 has been my lucky number since I was a little kid. Why? I have no idea but because of that I have reason to believe 2022 will be an awesome year. :) Back in my BYU days I used to tell people turning 22 that that was a particularly good year of life and I got a lot of strange looks.

Trevor just pointed out to me that his birthday is on the 22nd, so there you go. Proof it is a good number.

I thought long and hard about what my word of the year should be. I really struggled with it this time around. Finally, though, I decided it should be reclaim.

The last two years have been tough for me as I'm sure they have been for everyone. I became a mother two months before we settled into the pandemic. Adapting to motherhood was wonderful and scary and challenging, and doing it during the pandemic was so isolating. At first I was still working 20 hours a week, but often times needing to sacrifice my sleep or meals to fit it all in since child care options were extremely limited. 

I knew that working as a marriage/parenting researcher wouldn't mean I would have all the answers to parenting... but I didn't realize how much it would frighten me to know that I wasn't living up to the perfect textbook answers of how parenting "should" go. For whatever reason people tend to be quite judgmental of parents, and I often found myself taking that judgement particularly hard.

Then of course lately society has become so divided, along political lines and along pandemic lines. I found myself in a strange place where I am politically conservative but also a believer in masks and vaccines, and deeply dedicated to protecting my at-risk family members from contracting covid. People would sometimes judge me and my politics incorrectly based on my mask. Suddenly I found myself taking a lot of heat from people that I usually agreed with on things because to me covid was a real illness. Sometimes people would argue to me that the odds of dying of covid are small, but having family members who have been struck with rare conditions or deaths before this wasn't much comfort to me. One of my uncles passed away from covid on Matthew's first birthday last year. Other have said that covid is just a flu and not a big deal, but Matthew and I caught it in September (likely from church, unfortunately) and it wasn't just a flu for us.

In the end, to me, covid is a health condition, not a political issue. It hit the world at the same time but like any health issue it impacted everyone differently, and everyone needed to make their own choices about what precautions to take and how to move ahead. It makes sense to me that different people came to different conclusions, but there was no room for that in the public discourse. It seemed that no matter what I did in the pandemic, I was judged for it--called out for not being cautious enough or called out as a stupid sheep for trying to take precautions.

So basically the last two years have been a lot of adapting, a lot of sacrifice, and a lot of feeling judged even when I'm doing my best. In all of this, I feel like I've gotten a bit lost. I've forgotten to take care of my own needs instead of focusing on my family's needs. I've forgotten that my opinions and feelings matter too, even if they are different than someone else's. I've even forgotten some of my strengths and talents and things that make me a worthwhile person. 

I don't like that. This year, I want to refocus on reclaiming myself, being stronger against opposition and judgement, and taking better care of my own needs and wishes. This is going to be a year of Shelece.

Word of the Year: Become

 Time to dust off this old blog to announce my new word of the year... Become!

I had a hard time picking but finally this is the word that hit me. Become makes me think of many wonderful quotes about human potential and our power to decide who we ultimately become.

Word of the Year: Motherhood

This year's Word of The Year is simple and sweet: Motherhood.

That is the new adventure I'm about to embark on, and I'm sure it will be my main focus this year. Here's hoping I can figure things out and follow in the footsteps of my mom and all the wonderful mother figures in my life!

Word of the Year: Dream

This year, my word of the year is Dream.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of writing a book and becoming a published author. I think "Write my book" has been one of my New Year's Resolutions since I was 12. And yet... I've never done it.

It's not too late. A couple years ago, Hayley and I went to see one of our favorite authors at a book signing in Denver, Laini Taylor. She did some Q and A beforehand. She mentioned that she always considered herself a writer, even though there was a long stretch when she didn't do any writing. She didn't finish her first manuscript until she was 35. But now she is a published author of several books, and she has one of the most beautiful writing styles out there (in my opinion!).

Laini gave me so much hope. It's not too late for me. I can still live that dream, if I put my mind to it. I want this to be the year I finally write my book, or at least make very good progress on it!

In college, I had a friend who would always respond to "How are you?" with "I'm just living the dream!" I want to have an attitude like that about my life. I need to be more grateful for the blessings that I have. 

This past year was good, but also really stressful sometimes. I've taken on a lot of new responsibilities and I struggle to balance them all (which worries me about how I'll fit in parenting along with everything else! But I will find a way.) I spend a lot of time stressing and worrying about things.

But... I need to slow down and refocus on the good things in my life. I have a loving husband, a sweet puppy, and a beautiful home. For years I dreamed of a life like this--I need to appreciate and savor it!

Word of the Year: Lift

This year, my word of the year is LIFT.

Robert D. Hales (one of the apostles of our church) strives to follow this proverb in his marriage. I want to do the same. One of my goals for this new year is to do all I can to help and strengthen my husband, and I know he'll do the same for me. 

This year, I also want to be better about serving other people around me and "lifting up the hands which hang down." I need to be less focused on my own problems and instead reach out to help others.

The way we talk to ourselves really does make a difference in how we perceive the world. I'm too often my own harshest critic, and sometimes that paralyzes me and prevents me from performing at my best.  This year my goal is to be kind to myself and engage in positive self talk, not negative!

What is your word of the year this year?

Word of the Year Follow-up 2017

A few years back, Melissa challenged me to pick a "word of the year" each year... Essentially one word to sum up my New Year's Resolutions.

This year, I picked "Soar." My goal for 2017 was to soar to new heights. I admit when I chose it, I was struggling deeply with being 29 and single. I always thought I would be a wife and a mother, but I felt like my chances of that were dimming rapidly. Rather than focus on that, I wanted to find other ways to grow and develop as a person.

And I did. I dove more deeply into work and my calling. I learned new skills I'd never had before. I adopted a puppy. I tried to be a better person in every way I could.

In the midst of all this, I helped organize Colorado Springs' annual young single adult ball (Back to the Future themed!). I never once guessed that that ball would be the place where I would finally meet the love of my life.

Something clicked between Trevor and I right away. He got my number that night, but it was two months before our first date (!!!). After the ball he went back to Boulder to finish up his master's degree, and I was left to wonder if he'd lost interest, or if he figured he'd look me up when he got to the Springs.

Once he graduated and moved down here in May, things moved quickly. We were inseparable right away, and in three weeks, we were a couple. In two months, he proposed at the end of my last big YSA event, a conference in Denver.

Now we are happily married. I wish I could go back to last year's Shelece and let her know what was coming.

Trevor helps me soar in ways I never imagined. We really do compliment each other, and life is better together. We are alike in many ways, and in other ways, our differences balance each other out. He is brave when I am afraid. He is a wonderful patient teacher who talks me through trying new skills, and soothes my perfectionism when I'm not good at first. When I work late or have evening obligations, he gets dinner on the table for us. 

Life is better as a team. I'm excited to see what 2018 will hold for us.

Now some story time to explain how Trevor helps me soar.

I have a deep fear of drowning, something that has apparently been ingrained in my family for at least 4 generations (that's a story for another time). I know how to swim, but the ocean intimidates me anyway. But while we were in Hawaii, we wanted to try snorkeling. One of my coworkers even gifted us a snorkel rental, so we were all set! We did some internet research and decided to snorkel in a peaceful bay not that far from our hotel (I think it's called Kapalua Bay).

Us beside the bay after our snorkeling adventure.

But as I stood on the beach in my awkward swim fins, trying to master breathing through a snorkel, I psyched myself out. What if my fins got tangled or something? What if we swam out too deep and the waves got us? I ventured out into the water beside Trevor, trying to be calm, but once I could tell we were swimming into water deeper than I could stand up in, I balked. I told Trevor to go have fun, and I'd stay close to shore.

Trevor knew what to do. He encouraged me just to relax and float for a minute. He showed me that between our fins and the salt water, we could float with no effort. We were in no danger of sinking. That wiped a lot of my fear away in one go. Then he took my hand and led me into deeper waters. The rest of my fears vanished as I realized he would be right there to help me if anything weird did happen (it didn't... the water in that bay was so calm and peaceful and relaxing!).

I am so grateful he got me out there to savor the experience. Snorkeling is like visiting another world. There were so many beautiful bright colored fish, and we even encountered an adorable sea turtle. Once Trevor got me to relax, I discovered that snorkeling is VERY relaxing and not frightening at all. I would definitely give it a try again.

As another example... Towards the end of our honeymoon, we took a day to drive through the rain forest on the legendary road to Hana. GPS signals don't come through great out there, and we went out without a map or anything. We knew there are lots of cool things you can stop to see along the way, and we just identified them by noticing places where lots of cars parked and people got out to look at things. At one point we pulled over next to a bamboo forest. There were a lot of people farther back, congregating at a trailhead of some kind. But as we walked towards them, Trevor found a small opening in the bamboo with stairs leading down onto a narrow path. We followed it down until we found a beautiful waterfall at the end of the trail.

We were the only ones there. It was very romantic! Trevor took the lead winding deeper through the bamboo, until our trail connected with the much wider main trail. We wandered around until we found another bigger waterfall.

No, that person out there isn't Trevor, just some random guy. :)

We ran into many tourists on that trail. We found out there are 3 waterfalls in that area that people stop to see. Two are easy to find--one is not, and that was the one we found first. We gave directions to a few people who hadn't managed to track it down.

Wandering around in a bamboo forest felt like something straight out of an Indiana Jones movie. I loved it. With Trevor around, I felt perfectly safe, but I have to admit, I never would have tried that on my own. He makes me braver.

I'm excited to see what new adventures 2018 is going to offer! Our adventures will probably be closer to home (well, mine will be... Trevor is going to hike Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa late in the year!) but I'm sure they will still be epic. Life in itself is an adventure after all!

Word of the Year: Soar

My goal for 2017: Soar to new heights.

Reporting back on my word of the year

As 2016 winds down, it's time to report back on how I did with my word of the year, "Love."

Goals:

• Spend more time with my loved ones.
• Verdict: Success! I spent a lot of quality time with my family and with my closest friends.
• Of course the best part of this was getting to spend time with Kristie and Jason as they got home from their missions.

• Another highlight: spending time with loved ones in places I love.

  
• And doing fun things with people I love. :)

• Returning to the things I love, like writing.
• Verdict: Success. :) 
• Novel wise, my best month was January, when I wrote 7,000 words in a stretch.
• When my perfectionism got to be an issue, I wrote a 30,000 word fanfiction over the summer. It's four chapters away from being done--but on hold now because I'm back in novel writing.
• And just look at this blog! I've set a new record for blog entries in one year. :)
• Another thing I love that I've brought back into my life... I've always loved animals, and so this year I adopted a little furball into my life. :)

• Another love: reading. And this year I've joined an awesome book club that's been awesome. We even went to a book signing together (my very first!)

• Loving myself more.
• Verdict: Success
• Maybe it's just my age, but I feel more confident and at peace with myself than I ever have before.
• Loving my fellow men.
• Verdict: Success... at least I hope so.
• This is personal enough that I don't feel comfortable writing about it here.

A lot of people say 2016 was awful... but for me, it was a good year. Here's hoping 2017 is even better.

Word of the Year: Love

Last year Melissa gave me a challenge to pick a word of the year. A one word reminder of my goals and resolutions to help me keep on track.

This year, I've decided the word will be Love.

I picked love because I want to work on:

• Spending more time with my loved ones. They are the most important thing in my life, after all! 

• Returning to the things I love that I haven't had time for lately. The biggest one is creative writing. Let's get that novel written finally! I've been trying for forever.

• Loving myself more. Sometimes I can be too much of a perfectionist and too hard on myself.

• and of course, loving my fellow men.

Bring it on, 2016. I'm going to make this a good year.

At Last I See the Light

Ever since I've seen the movie Tangled, I've wanted to go to a floating lantern festival, and tonight I finally got my chance. Lori and I went to the Lantern Fest held at the Pikes Peak Roadway down in Fountain. It was even more magical than I thought it would be.

Lori thought she was borrowing my camera to take a picture, without realizing it was set to video mode... and caught this cool video of the underside of a lantern as it was preparing to launch.



You can skip to 2:12 to see me and Lori (and hear our excitedness when they played the song from Tangled, "At Last I See the Light". :)

Crossing that one off the bucket list! :D I realized later that was especially appropriate considering my word of the year is Light! What better year to go? Before we sent the Lanterns up, we got to decorate them with markers. I covered mine with the quotes from my word of the year post. And of course, Mormon.org. :) Probably it will just get tossed but figured it couldn't hurt!

Word of the Year: Light

Melissa gave me a challenge to pick a word of the year.

A word to define 2015, to remind me of my goals and resolutions and help keep me on track.

After a lot of thought... I've decided my word will be "light."

Light means:

• Striving to grow closer to Heavenly Father

• Being optimistic about my future

• Learning new things, reading good books, visiting new places, all kinds of good things. :)

I think this is gonna be a good year.