Oh man, guys... This grant app is making me crazy or something. I'm smashing through all kinds of walls.
First, TVTropes, and now.... Fanfiction.
I've always been a casual fan of fanfiction. When there's a book or movie or TV show I'm particularly passionate about, sometimes I'll seek out fanfiction. It's hard to find good ones, but sometimes I'll find ones that expand the stories I love so much in new and exciting ways.
I've never tried writing fanfiction. On occasion I've let myself daydream about alternate plots to things, or what characters must have been thinking. But I've never tried fanfiction.
Until.... this morning, from 1 to 2 am, when I wrote a (fairly awful) first chapter of a fanfiction piece.... and POSTED IT ONLINE.
The craziest thing is that I've since added another chapter to it.
Probably no one will ever read it, which is probably for the best. I won't tell you what it is exactly, but it's a fanfiction of something that means it will probably quickly be buried in the archives of fanfiction.net.
It's a really rough thing that I just threw together (did I mention I wrote the first chapter... basically imagining the thoughts of a particular character and exploring his motivations throughout the main story. A lot of the real plot is rehashed. It's nothing to be proud of, but for some reason I am so proud of myself for writing it up and putting it out there.
I should be working on my novel outlining instead. But even though this is just a silly fanfiction piece... It's probably good for me to just be writing something! Exercise those creative muscles. Who knows, maybe it will help me with my book. It can be my warm-up lap to some real writing.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Friday, June 17, 2016
Nature Therapy
Today was a stressful day. The first draft of the grant app was due by the end of the day.
I made it! Whoo!
But man, was I wrung out by the end of the day. So I packed up a notebook and walked over to a park a little ways from my house... and just sat there writing for half an hour. Brainstorming novel ideas, working on my outline. It was wonderful, very peaceful with no distractions. So much easier to think in that kind of peace and quiet.
I need to do that more often.
I made it! Whoo!
But man, was I wrung out by the end of the day. So I packed up a notebook and walked over to a park a little ways from my house... and just sat there writing for half an hour. Brainstorming novel ideas, working on my outline. It was wonderful, very peaceful with no distractions. So much easier to think in that kind of peace and quiet.
I need to do that more often.
Thursday, June 16, 2016
TV Tropes
Good news! I'm achieving my goal of blogging more and sharing more of my real thoughts and feelings, rather than just generic airbrushed things sanitized for public consumption.
Bad news: I am hardcore revealing how much of a dork I am through my honesty. :)
So today's nerdy topic: TVTropes. One of my favorite websites. Basically, TVTropes is a catalog of tropes: that is, a catalog of storytelling devices encountered in film, literature, video games, etc., etc. For example, one of the tropes is called a "Disney Death." This is a scene, usually occurring at the end of a story, where it appears that a character has died. Other characters mourn, the reader/viewer gets upset... and then we learn that everything is okay and that character is alive after all! Disney movies are notorious for this--we see this in Snow White, Pinocchio, and Frozen, among many others.
That's an example of a plot trope. There are many, many kinds of tropes, examining things like characters, setting, and even dialogue, not just plot points.
TVTropes lists tropes in two ways--1) by trope (so you can go to the Disney Death page and see examples of this posted from all kinds of media), and 2) by story. So, for example, you can go to the Pinocchio page and see all the tropes in that film that TVTropers have identified and labeled.
Basically it is a nerdy writer's paradise. I love analyzing the stories I read and watch and hear, and with TVTropes, I have trope names I can use to label the different deconstructed pieces of the story.
TVTropes is a wiki of sorts. About a year ago, I tentatively made an account and made less than a handful of contributions. Well, I don't know if it's the grant getting to me or what, but tonight I went CRAZY. I've probably added a good 20 trope examples all over the place on the site. It's really fun! We'll see if other people have to go back and clean up my work since I'm a newb, but I'm encouraged because my contributions from a year ago are still there, untouched and even expanded upon.
Finally, a healthy way to channel my overanalyzing of everything I read and watch! Look out, internet, I've got a lot to say about this stuff and apparently I'm not afraid to say it anymore.
Bad news: I am hardcore revealing how much of a dork I am through my honesty. :)
So today's nerdy topic: TVTropes. One of my favorite websites. Basically, TVTropes is a catalog of tropes: that is, a catalog of storytelling devices encountered in film, literature, video games, etc., etc. For example, one of the tropes is called a "Disney Death." This is a scene, usually occurring at the end of a story, where it appears that a character has died. Other characters mourn, the reader/viewer gets upset... and then we learn that everything is okay and that character is alive after all! Disney movies are notorious for this--we see this in Snow White, Pinocchio, and Frozen, among many others.
That's an example of a plot trope. There are many, many kinds of tropes, examining things like characters, setting, and even dialogue, not just plot points.
TVTropes lists tropes in two ways--1) by trope (so you can go to the Disney Death page and see examples of this posted from all kinds of media), and 2) by story. So, for example, you can go to the Pinocchio page and see all the tropes in that film that TVTropers have identified and labeled.
Basically it is a nerdy writer's paradise. I love analyzing the stories I read and watch and hear, and with TVTropes, I have trope names I can use to label the different deconstructed pieces of the story.
TVTropes is a wiki of sorts. About a year ago, I tentatively made an account and made less than a handful of contributions. Well, I don't know if it's the grant getting to me or what, but tonight I went CRAZY. I've probably added a good 20 trope examples all over the place on the site. It's really fun! We'll see if other people have to go back and clean up my work since I'm a newb, but I'm encouraged because my contributions from a year ago are still there, untouched and even expanded upon.
Finally, a healthy way to channel my overanalyzing of everything I read and watch! Look out, internet, I've got a lot to say about this stuff and apparently I'm not afraid to say it anymore.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
The Day the Wall Almost Ate My Hamster
Sure, Fuzz has one of those cute little hamster balls to roll around in (pink, of course, what else?). But sometimes I take her to a safe place and let her just roam around freely.
This almost ended in tragedy the first time.... when I let her out in my bathroom without remembering I had a glue trap behind the toilet, to catch spiders (but it would work for catching hamsters, too). Until she went behind the toilet and I freaked out and threw the trap away.
Other times have gone better, but we haven't returned to my bathroom because of the bad memories. Today, though, I decided to let her run around for a bit in there while I was getting ready. I did a sweep of the room first to check for horrible surprises like forgotten glue traps, but I was confident that everything was hamster-proofed and hamster safe.
So I let Fuzz out, and she runs around happily. And within two minutes... she runs up to just underneath my bathroom cabinet, in the very corner against the wall. She stands up to sniff something. The next thing I know, she's climbing UP into something, and then she's gone. I naively open the cabinet, thinking she may have gotten in there somehow.
Nope. That's when I discovered a lovely little hole on the underside of the cabinet, opening up into a random chunk of space in between the cabinet and the wall. It was just the right size for a hamster to squeeze through, but I had no way to get in there and no idea what was back there.
I may have... panicked. A little bit. Pictures of Fuzz getting trapped forever came to mind, and I wondered how much it would cost to rip that wall apart and put it back together again. I could hear her running around in there but I had no idea what she was getting into.
So I ran and got a handful of food and held it to the hole, calling her name. She did not reappear. I wondered if she would even be able to climb back out. Okay... clearly, I needed a... a hamster ladder. Yeah. Something I could lower through the hole that she could climb up. Did I have anything like that? I poured the food back into her food bag and looked around. Not seeing any immediate options, I tried to fit my hand down the hole. I got two fingers in. And right away I could feel Fuzz's nose and whiskers brush against my fingers, sniffing me.
I stood up and started digging through my toileteries. Would a comb work? No, how would I even fit that inside? Maybe... a pony tail ring?
Then I looked down, and there was Fuzz, grooming herself on the rug. I think she smelled food on my hand and that inspired her to come out.
I was spazzing, and she was totally calm and happy about her little adventure. Is this what my parenting will be like? I promptly scooped her up and got her back into her cage.
Moral of the story: Unless you have gotten down on a hamster's eye level and looked all around... you do not know if somewhere is hamster proof.
This almost ended in tragedy the first time.... when I let her out in my bathroom without remembering I had a glue trap behind the toilet, to catch spiders (but it would work for catching hamsters, too). Until she went behind the toilet and I freaked out and threw the trap away.
Other times have gone better, but we haven't returned to my bathroom because of the bad memories. Today, though, I decided to let her run around for a bit in there while I was getting ready. I did a sweep of the room first to check for horrible surprises like forgotten glue traps, but I was confident that everything was hamster-proofed and hamster safe.
So I let Fuzz out, and she runs around happily. And within two minutes... she runs up to just underneath my bathroom cabinet, in the very corner against the wall. She stands up to sniff something. The next thing I know, she's climbing UP into something, and then she's gone. I naively open the cabinet, thinking she may have gotten in there somehow.
Nope. That's when I discovered a lovely little hole on the underside of the cabinet, opening up into a random chunk of space in between the cabinet and the wall. It was just the right size for a hamster to squeeze through, but I had no way to get in there and no idea what was back there.
I may have... panicked. A little bit. Pictures of Fuzz getting trapped forever came to mind, and I wondered how much it would cost to rip that wall apart and put it back together again. I could hear her running around in there but I had no idea what she was getting into.
So I ran and got a handful of food and held it to the hole, calling her name. She did not reappear. I wondered if she would even be able to climb back out. Okay... clearly, I needed a... a hamster ladder. Yeah. Something I could lower through the hole that she could climb up. Did I have anything like that? I poured the food back into her food bag and looked around. Not seeing any immediate options, I tried to fit my hand down the hole. I got two fingers in. And right away I could feel Fuzz's nose and whiskers brush against my fingers, sniffing me.
I stood up and started digging through my toileteries. Would a comb work? No, how would I even fit that inside? Maybe... a pony tail ring?
Then I looked down, and there was Fuzz, grooming herself on the rug. I think she smelled food on my hand and that inspired her to come out.
I was spazzing, and she was totally calm and happy about her little adventure. Is this what my parenting will be like? I promptly scooped her up and got her back into her cage.
Moral of the story: Unless you have gotten down on a hamster's eye level and looked all around... you do not know if somewhere is hamster proof.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Secret of Kells
If you're in the mood for the sort of movie that rips your heart out and stomps on it and leaves you haunted for a while, I'd like to recommend the Secret of Kells.
It's available for free viewing on Hulu!
No, really, though, it's a great movie and I like it a lot--but not for kids, despite the fact that it's animated. It's an Irish animation film--I went to see it at BYU's International Cinema a few years back with my friend Lena, but unfortunately there was something wrong with the audio that day, so we missed a lot of the dialogue.
Something on TVTropes inspired me to give it another try, and since it was available on Hulu, I went for it.
The basic plot: Kells is an Irish village in the year 800 AD, a time when the Vikings were raiding, pillaging, and burning Ireland on a routine basis. The Abbot of Kells (Cellach) is determined to build a wall to protect his people from the Vikings (called the Northmen here) to the point that he's become obsessed with it and he forces all the monks in his monastery to focus all their efforts on building it. The Abbot is raising his young orphaned nephew, Brendan, with a very strict hand--but it's obvious that he loves the boy deeply, and Brendan loves his uncle.
A newcomer arrives--Brother Aidan, one of the best illuminators in the world. He teaches Brendan how to draw the beautiful illumination drawings you'll find in medieval copies of the Bible (actually this whole story is based very loosely on the Book of Kells, one such Bible... and the animation is designed to look like that style of medieval art. It's breathtaking.) Aidan is much more loving than the Abbot. He feels it's important for the monks to continue to create books, so people will have access to the knowledge therein, rather than just focus on the wall.
Aidan convinces Brendan to go against some of his uncle's strict commands, including venturing into the forest where he meets a beautiful young forest sprite named Aisling. She's bristly at first, but they quickly become friends (and they are young enough that that's all they are! Around 10-11 or so.)
Brendan is a little bit torn between his two father figures (you know how I love family dynamics in movies. :) Neither one is perfect. Cellach isn't wrong to want to protect his people from a very real threat. Aidan isn't wrong to value books and carrying knowledge to the people. Cellach is only trying to protect Brendan with his strict orders (but denying him autonomy and keeping him too stifled). Aidan is only trying to help the boy spread his wings by encouraging him to go against his uncle sometimes (but unfortunately this puts his life in danger, at times, and causes a rift between the boy and his only living relative).
Cellach comes off as a jerk at times, right until the end of the movie (although he's never bad, really, just obsessed.) But I love him anyway... especially because I read the free prequel comic for the film. Ten years before, Cellach was working on a manuscript in a monastery when he receives word that the local village is under attack. He immediately drops everything and rushes to the village, frantic to save his sister and nephew. He's a BIG buff dude, btw, he can handle Vikings. He makes it to the village but his sister and brother-in-law are dead. He manages to save baby Brendan though, even fighting off 3 Vikings at one point in order to do so.
The comic makes it incredibly clear just how much he loves his nephew. He would do anything to protect him. And, you understand why he becomes so obsessed with the wall later. He's haunted by the loss of his sister and brother-in-law and their ENTIRE village. He never wants that to happen ever again, and he's doing everything he can to prevent it.
So, here's the spoiler, if you don't want to watch and you wonder why I'm haunted: The Vikings do attack. The wall isn't done yet, but Cellach hopes it will hold and tells everyone to stay put. He locks Brendan and Aidan in the scriptorium, in an effort to protect them. Aidan wants everyone to flee to safety. Cellach doesn't.... and then his wall backfires. The Vikings get inside the wall, the people can't get out, 95% of all the characters in the film die. It's not graphic and it's done from a distance, but the implications are there and they are horrifying.
Cellach has already got 2 arrows sticking out of him when he realizes Brendan and Aidan are still locked in the scriptorium. He desperately races to save them, but the Vikings stab him in the back and he collapses. Meanwhile, Brendan and Aidan manage to escape... only to see Cellach laying bleeding in the snow. Brendan cries out and tries to get to his uncle, but Aidan tells him there is nothing they can do... and they flee, Brendan sobbing.
That's when Cellach wakes up and sees Vikings pouring out of the burning scriptorium, and he starts crying because he thinks his nephew is dead, and that it's his own fault for locking him up. Argh... His face in this scene... It's even worse knowing he is probably having flashbacks to when he first saved Brendan 10 years ago. He wants to die too, like almost everyone else, but he survives the attack with a few others. The only other surviving monk tells him he must get up and carry on as their leader, and he does.
Fast forward TWENTY years. Cellach is an old depressed man still haunted by all those deaths, especially his nephew's. Brendan shows up back at Kells and they have a happy reunion........ but why did it have to take so long? Cellach has been suffering for 20 years, and he says he has little time left. Why couldn't they have been reunited sooner?!? Ahhhhhhh...... I am seriously rewriting this ending in my head so that they are reunited much sooner! Maybe... 2 years later instead of 20? Yeah. And then Brendan could still grow up with his uncle, and his uncle would probably heal emotionally sooner, and be a lot more loving towards Brendan......
I am such a sucker for happy endings, and that one was very bittersweet.
It's available for free viewing on Hulu!
No, really, though, it's a great movie and I like it a lot--but not for kids, despite the fact that it's animated. It's an Irish animation film--I went to see it at BYU's International Cinema a few years back with my friend Lena, but unfortunately there was something wrong with the audio that day, so we missed a lot of the dialogue.
Something on TVTropes inspired me to give it another try, and since it was available on Hulu, I went for it.
The basic plot: Kells is an Irish village in the year 800 AD, a time when the Vikings were raiding, pillaging, and burning Ireland on a routine basis. The Abbot of Kells (Cellach) is determined to build a wall to protect his people from the Vikings (called the Northmen here) to the point that he's become obsessed with it and he forces all the monks in his monastery to focus all their efforts on building it. The Abbot is raising his young orphaned nephew, Brendan, with a very strict hand--but it's obvious that he loves the boy deeply, and Brendan loves his uncle.
A newcomer arrives--Brother Aidan, one of the best illuminators in the world. He teaches Brendan how to draw the beautiful illumination drawings you'll find in medieval copies of the Bible (actually this whole story is based very loosely on the Book of Kells, one such Bible... and the animation is designed to look like that style of medieval art. It's breathtaking.) Aidan is much more loving than the Abbot. He feels it's important for the monks to continue to create books, so people will have access to the knowledge therein, rather than just focus on the wall.
Aidan convinces Brendan to go against some of his uncle's strict commands, including venturing into the forest where he meets a beautiful young forest sprite named Aisling. She's bristly at first, but they quickly become friends (and they are young enough that that's all they are! Around 10-11 or so.)
Brendan is a little bit torn between his two father figures (you know how I love family dynamics in movies. :) Neither one is perfect. Cellach isn't wrong to want to protect his people from a very real threat. Aidan isn't wrong to value books and carrying knowledge to the people. Cellach is only trying to protect Brendan with his strict orders (but denying him autonomy and keeping him too stifled). Aidan is only trying to help the boy spread his wings by encouraging him to go against his uncle sometimes (but unfortunately this puts his life in danger, at times, and causes a rift between the boy and his only living relative).
Cellach comes off as a jerk at times, right until the end of the movie (although he's never bad, really, just obsessed.) But I love him anyway... especially because I read the free prequel comic for the film. Ten years before, Cellach was working on a manuscript in a monastery when he receives word that the local village is under attack. He immediately drops everything and rushes to the village, frantic to save his sister and nephew. He's a BIG buff dude, btw, he can handle Vikings. He makes it to the village but his sister and brother-in-law are dead. He manages to save baby Brendan though, even fighting off 3 Vikings at one point in order to do so.
The comic makes it incredibly clear just how much he loves his nephew. He would do anything to protect him. And, you understand why he becomes so obsessed with the wall later. He's haunted by the loss of his sister and brother-in-law and their ENTIRE village. He never wants that to happen ever again, and he's doing everything he can to prevent it.
So, here's the spoiler, if you don't want to watch and you wonder why I'm haunted: The Vikings do attack. The wall isn't done yet, but Cellach hopes it will hold and tells everyone to stay put. He locks Brendan and Aidan in the scriptorium, in an effort to protect them. Aidan wants everyone to flee to safety. Cellach doesn't.... and then his wall backfires. The Vikings get inside the wall, the people can't get out, 95% of all the characters in the film die. It's not graphic and it's done from a distance, but the implications are there and they are horrifying.
Cellach has already got 2 arrows sticking out of him when he realizes Brendan and Aidan are still locked in the scriptorium. He desperately races to save them, but the Vikings stab him in the back and he collapses. Meanwhile, Brendan and Aidan manage to escape... only to see Cellach laying bleeding in the snow. Brendan cries out and tries to get to his uncle, but Aidan tells him there is nothing they can do... and they flee, Brendan sobbing.
That's when Cellach wakes up and sees Vikings pouring out of the burning scriptorium, and he starts crying because he thinks his nephew is dead, and that it's his own fault for locking him up. Argh... His face in this scene... It's even worse knowing he is probably having flashbacks to when he first saved Brendan 10 years ago. He wants to die too, like almost everyone else, but he survives the attack with a few others. The only other surviving monk tells him he must get up and carry on as their leader, and he does.
Fast forward TWENTY years. Cellach is an old depressed man still haunted by all those deaths, especially his nephew's. Brendan shows up back at Kells and they have a happy reunion........ but why did it have to take so long? Cellach has been suffering for 20 years, and he says he has little time left. Why couldn't they have been reunited sooner?!? Ahhhhhhh...... I am seriously rewriting this ending in my head so that they are reunited much sooner! Maybe... 2 years later instead of 20? Yeah. And then Brendan could still grow up with his uncle, and his uncle would probably heal emotionally sooner, and be a lot more loving towards Brendan......
I am such a sucker for happy endings, and that one was very bittersweet.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Granting
Remember around this time last summer, when I was stressed out of my mind working on a grant application?
Guess what I'm up to right now? :) My company has decided to apply for another grant, and we didn't find the grant announcement until there were only 3 weeks left to put things together. Last go around, there were 3 people on the grant writing team, but one of those three is on vacation in Asia, so it's just me and my boss, working hard to crank out this app. The first draft is due by next Friday.
I'm making good progress, I think. I'm only responsible for writing 30 pages (my boss is writing 80!!), and so far I have 10. The first day or two I was really stressed out. But now, I'm doing much better. It helps that the future of our company isn't dependent on this grant... It would really help us to get another grant, but we won't go under without it. It probably helps too that this isn't my first rodeo!
Actually, in some ways grant writing has been helpful, because every night when I'm done, I've given myself permission to just crash instead of running off to YSA activities or working on the long list of non-work responsibilities we adults have to deal with. I watched Zootopia twice in the last two days, guys. And on Tuesday I went to see Captain America: Civil War.
Last night was really great, because I got to spend time with my family like old times. Back in the day, when we were all kids, we spent most of our free time hanging out together. Usually we were more interested in being together than in going off with our friends (introverts unite!). Now, though, we're all adults with busy callings and jobs and social lives, and it's rare that we spend an evening together.
Last night, we just sat together for a few hours after dinner, talking, making exciting plans for when Jason and Kristie get back (we'll see if they come to fruition!). Eventually we put Zootopia on and watched that. It was incredibly relaxing. I probably need to make spending time with my family a bigger priority.
Guess what I'm up to right now? :) My company has decided to apply for another grant, and we didn't find the grant announcement until there were only 3 weeks left to put things together. Last go around, there were 3 people on the grant writing team, but one of those three is on vacation in Asia, so it's just me and my boss, working hard to crank out this app. The first draft is due by next Friday.
I'm making good progress, I think. I'm only responsible for writing 30 pages (my boss is writing 80!!), and so far I have 10. The first day or two I was really stressed out. But now, I'm doing much better. It helps that the future of our company isn't dependent on this grant... It would really help us to get another grant, but we won't go under without it. It probably helps too that this isn't my first rodeo!
Actually, in some ways grant writing has been helpful, because every night when I'm done, I've given myself permission to just crash instead of running off to YSA activities or working on the long list of non-work responsibilities we adults have to deal with. I watched Zootopia twice in the last two days, guys. And on Tuesday I went to see Captain America: Civil War.
Last night was really great, because I got to spend time with my family like old times. Back in the day, when we were all kids, we spent most of our free time hanging out together. Usually we were more interested in being together than in going off with our friends (introverts unite!). Now, though, we're all adults with busy callings and jobs and social lives, and it's rare that we spend an evening together.
Last night, we just sat together for a few hours after dinner, talking, making exciting plans for when Jason and Kristie get back (we'll see if they come to fruition!). Eventually we put Zootopia on and watched that. It was incredibly relaxing. I probably need to make spending time with my family a bigger priority.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Timeline
Today I took a few minutes to write out a rough timeline for my novel. By that I don't mean a scene by scene timeline of the plot, but a timeline of historical/personal events related to the characters, big life events like births, deaths, marriages, and divorces, as well as the big catalyst event that shapes the whole story.
It was incredibly helpful! I've had a rough idea of the backstory, which involves some things happening 50 years before the main plot. But mapping out the character details helped me realize it hasn't been a perfect 50 years... it's been 38. Otherwise, some of the adults who witnessed that main event would be way too old to be in the main story (possibly dead, in some cases). Pretty important to realize!! Besides, doesn't something happening 38 years later sound a little less contrived than a perfect 50?
The timeline helped me make some other useful connections too. For example, one character lost his son--but I'd never realized that his young coworker is exactly the same age as his son. So... maybe they have more of a father-son vibe to their relationship than I initially considered.
There's still a lot of ground to cover, but I'm already getting excited about this outlining process. Stepping back and seeing the whole picture gives a very helpful perspective that I think will lead to a stronger story. I just need to keep this up!
It was incredibly helpful! I've had a rough idea of the backstory, which involves some things happening 50 years before the main plot. But mapping out the character details helped me realize it hasn't been a perfect 50 years... it's been 38. Otherwise, some of the adults who witnessed that main event would be way too old to be in the main story (possibly dead, in some cases). Pretty important to realize!! Besides, doesn't something happening 38 years later sound a little less contrived than a perfect 50?
The timeline helped me make some other useful connections too. For example, one character lost his son--but I'd never realized that his young coworker is exactly the same age as his son. So... maybe they have more of a father-son vibe to their relationship than I initially considered.
There's still a lot of ground to cover, but I'm already getting excited about this outlining process. Stepping back and seeing the whole picture gives a very helpful perspective that I think will lead to a stronger story. I just need to keep this up!
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