Piano Lesson

Be warned--this happy little bride is probably going to write several posts about her new hubby. I'm very much in a sappy newlywed kind of mood. :)

Today I wanted to share a memory from our 3rd date... one of the first times I knew there was something different about Trevor from any other man I'd ever dated.

This was back on Memorial Day. We had an epic full day together planned--first, attending the YSA Memorial Day picnic, then going mini-golfing, and then ending the day with dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was excited for the date, but I was also really nervous about it. I think I realized that we were moving quickly towards a relationship--he'd only been in the area a little over a week, and we'd already spent time together almost everyday. Yet we still didn't know each other very well, and I didn't want us to become involved only for one or both of us to have our hearts broken.

Towards the end of the picnic, we found ourselves inside the church building, and of course Trevor wanted to go find a piano. (If you know Trevor at all, you know he is very passionate about music--and piano and organ in particular). I thought he'd want to play something for me, but instead, he asked me to play something for him. I tried to beg off. I took piano lessons as a kid, but I never enjoyed them. I would rather be off writing a story or reading a book than playing a song on the piano. I gave up piano by the time I hit high school and never looked back.

But somehow Trevor coaxed me into sitting down and attempting a hymn. He offered to play the left hand for me while I played the right. Oh man.... it was a mess. I could barely remember how to read music. I had to stop in between notes to recite in my head "Every good boy deserves fudge" as I struggled to figure out what I should even be playing. Even with that, I still played plenty of wrong notes, and my pace was about at sloth speed. My playing was definitely not recognizable as a hymn. Man, I thought, this is so embarrassing! 

Then it hit me--I wasn't actually feeling embarrassed. There I was, butchering one of Trevor's favorite pastimes, and I realized that somehow I still felt relaxed and at peace. I knew he wasn't judging me.

I am a perfectionist. I hate being bad at things, especially in front of other people. I realized that with any other guy, I wouldn't be feeling this way. With any of my crushes in the past, I would have felt totally humiliated failing at their favorite hobby in front of them. With men I wasn't into, my humiliation would probably have turned into anger that they "made" me do something I was so bad at.

But with Trevor... I felt totally at peace. I felt safe--somehow I knew he was someone I could show my weaknesses to, and he wouldn't be harsh or judgmental about them. I could just be my real self.

That moment and that realization were very powerful for me. Something was different with this man--and knowing that gave me to courage to keep moving ahead to see what would happen next. Thank goodness I did!