Rome Day 1: Colosseum and everything else we could pack in

Way back in April, Trevor's family invited us to join them for a trip to Italy. Eric and Kathy (my parents-in-law) were going on a European cruise with Eric's parents and all of his siblings, and when they landed, they wanted to take all of us to Tuscany for a few days. We needed to meet them in Rome where their cruise ship was going to dock, so Eric encouraged all of us to come a few days early and enjoy some time there too.

When Trevor and I first got married, we dreamed of going on lots of big trips in our first two years of marriage before kids came along. One of the places we wanted to go the most was Paris. Since we were headed to Europe anyway, we decided to add on a few days for a trip to Paris for ourselves. While we were at it, we decided to stop in Venice too, since we'd be in Italy.

We made all of these plans without realizing that I was going to get pregnant that very month, and without having any concept of what this trip would be like for a 6 months pregnant lady! It was still wonderful, but my stamina was not great and parts of it were very hard for me. Still, I'm glad we went. Once the little one comes, I don't think we'll be doing anything like this again for quite a while.

We were proud of the good deals we found to get us to Europe. Pro tip: Norwegian Air has cheap flights, but their planes are awesome. They charge for any upgrades like checking a bag or choosing your seat (kind of like Frontier), but we were able to get by without any. Somehow we fit everything we needed into two little carry on duffel bags--packing light Rick Steves style! We knew our Airbnb in Orvieto (Tuscany-ish) had a washer and a dryer, so we only took enough clothes for a week and washed them while we were there. No baggage fees. We left Denver at 8 pm on a Saturday night, so then we just went to sleep on the plane and didn't worry about ordering meals. We found that the cheapest way to get to Rome was to take a Norwegian flight to London, and then to catch a regional EasyJet plane from there that took us the rest of the way. We found a cheap Norwegian flight from Paris direct to Denver. That one we could have used a meal, but we took 6 (!!) pain au chocolat with us that got us through the flight. :)

Rome Day 1
For the Rome leg of the trip, Trevor and I were traveling with his sisters Heather and Amber, and Amber's husband Doug. (Right now his brother Tanner is in podiatry school, so he and his wife Misty weren't able to make it.)

We started our first day with a City Wonders tour of the Colosseum!

It was so cool to see it in person after a lifetime of seeing it in pictures! It's also a bit surreal seeing this ancient building next to a modern road, packed with modern tourists. :) I liked imagining all the millions (?) of people who visited the Colosseum before us. Although for some of them, it was not at all a pleasant experience. 😕

A key to visiting Rome--beware of street vendors. They are very aggressive and in your face. They try to trick you--like, they'll offer you a flower or something as if it's a gift, but if you take it from them, they demand money for it. In Rome, our main experience with the street vendors was at the Colosseum. As we were waiting for the tour, it started to rain, and suddenly we were overwhelmed with street vendors selling umbrellas and ponchos. I almost grabbed an umbrella by accident because the guy thrust it right in my face.

Fortunately we left them all behind as we entered the Colosseum with our awesome tour guide, Maria! We had to pass through security on our way. Security was strict. People even had to take off their money belts. Unfortunately, since I don't have a waist right now, I had a neck wallet instead, and I was wearing it cross body under my clothes to make it harder to grab. I tried going through security without taking it off, and it mostly went okay. But there was a miscommunication with the security guard afterwards (language barrier) and I thought he wanted me to take it off. I forgot that this was impossible without taking off my shirt (since I had it looped over one arm under all my clothes). I made a valiant effort to get it off that ended up pulling up my shirt quite a bit and exposing my garments and my bra (not my skin though, since the garments I wear under my bra keep me pretty covered) until the guard told me it was fine and to please just go through. I think he was laughing a bit at me haha. Dignity gone!

Shortly thereafter we had another misstep... We were maybe 10 minutes into the tour when Trevor told me he was going to run real quick and get a better look at something the guide had showed us. He wanted me to go with him, but I was worried about getting separated from the group. So he went for his quick look and I followed the tour guide on, walking backwards and looking for Trevor's blue coat, waiting for him to reappear. He... didn't. We wandered farther into the Colosseum and stopped to look at something else. Trevor still didn't appear. As the guide started to move to the next location, I pushed my way to the front of the group to let her know I'd lost my husband. She suggested that I call him, but... we'd never turned on the international service for his phone! We'd turned on a TravelPlan for me, but in the rush of things to do before the trip, somehow we never got to turning on Trevor's. So there was no way to contact him at all.

Maria held our tour group back for a few minutes while I doubled back to the last place I'd seen him. There were three different pathways he could have taken from there, and I had no idea where he'd be. I ran a little ways down each one with no luck. Finally I decided to head back to the group and hope Trevor had appeared. I was wearing a headset to hear the tour guide, and in my dash backwards I'd wandered out of range. As I came back into range, I could hear the guide saying, "Oh dear, now I've lost 2 people. I could let more of the family go back to look, but I don't want to send all of you or else I'll have lost 5 people. Does one of you want to go?" And so I ran into Amber on her way to come help me look. We tried running upstairs to look for him there--still no Trevor! I started to think I'd never see him again. How in the world could we find him in such a big place? But then Amber's husband called to let us know Trevor had found his way back to the tour group. He'd gotten confused and gone up the stairs, while the rest of us stayed on the main level and headed to the elevators. Fortunately because our group stayed in the same place, he figured out where they were based on where his radio went in and out of range. I made sure to hold his hand and keep him close to me after that! :)

A few things I learned about the Colosseum--it used to have a roof! Women who came had to sit in the nose bleed seats since they were second class citizens. The whole top floor was just for the women to sit. Access to the games were free and extremely popular, but people still had to get tickets that directed them to specific doors for seating. The audience was well protected from the action on the floor by a metal net, and archers stood ready to shoot any beasts that tried to escape into the crowd. The floor had multiple trap doors so a new gladiator or beast could dramatically enter into the ring.

It's very weird to think about crowds cheering as people died before their eyes in the arena. I hope we don't get to that point again in our society.

After the Colosseum, we moved on to the Palatine Hill where the Emperor's palace used to be, and also to the Roman Forum. There's not much left at either place now, but it's impressive anything has survived after so much time has gone by.

Once the tour was over, we had an action packed day filled with as many things as we could see in Rome. We ended up walking for 10 hours straight (!!!), because we'd walk to something new, walk through it, and then walk to something else. My feet were okay for about the first 6 hours... by the end they were totally fried and we girls took a taxi back to the hotel. I don't think my feet ever recovered for the rest of the trip. But it was worth it to see all that we could.

Our first stop was Altare della Patria (Altar to the Fatherland!). I am ashamed to admit I added this to our list mainly because it has free admissions and even better, free bathrooms!! Most bathrooms in Italy cost 50 cents or so, and I didn't have any change.

But look at this beautiful building!

This building is a monument in honor of Victor Emmanuel II, the first king of Italy after it was unified. This is where they have their tomb of the unknown soldier.

Other highlights of the day:

• Visiting the Basilica of Our Lady. I didn't take any pictures because they asked us not to in order to respect the reverence of the space. This was one of my favorite churches we visited--it felt peaceful and I felt like I could feel the generations of people who had worshipped our Savior there.
• 2 rounds of gelato! While in Rome, right?

• The Trevi fountain! I couldn't resist throwing a coin in. They say if you throw a coin into the fountain over your left shoulder with your right hand, you'll return to Rome someday. :) Trevor resisted. I guess I'll have to go back to Rome without him sometime.

• Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore--another gorgeous Roman church. I loved the stained glass.

• Piazza Navona

Never Forget

I was only 13 when 9/11 happened. Of course at the time I was shocked and sad about the great loss of life that day. But I find the older I get, the better I understand just how terrible 9/11 really was.

Last night Trevor and I watched a documentary called "9/11 Calls from the Tower." The documentary interviews several families who lost loved ones, and we listen to the last recordings of their voices--often voicemails left to say goodbye to loved ones, but also 911 calls, and audio from the fire fighters as they tried to rescue who they could. It's so powerful, and terribly, terribly heartbreaking. The anguish in their voices as they say goodbye... The fear... One call to 911 ends abruptly with screams when the tower collapses.

One story that really struck me was that of Orio Palmer, a firefighter who managed to find one staircase in the south tower that made it up past the impact zone. He reached the scene of impact and immediately calls for more help to rescue and treat the injured survivors there. Unbeknownst to him... the tower was just minutes away from collapsing. Oh man.... Just picturing that, these suffering people so relieved to see a firefighter arrive to help. His team rushing up the stairs so they could help too. The brief flicker of hope that some of these people could make it out, that the firefighters could save them, that those above the impact area had a path out of the building...

And then. The tower came down. All those people perished after all. That is a truly haunting thought.

Watching the documentary lead to me rewatching the original 9/11 news reports from that actual day... and then watching all the survivor testimonies I could find. I learned more about 9/11 today than I've ever known, I think. And... it didn't leave me in a very happy place, let me tell you. Really studying stories of the horrors people saw and experienced, really pondering the stories of people who couldn't escape and knew they were doomed.... Ooof.

I never want to forget that happened that day. I never want to forget those who were lost. But maybe next year I can find a more positive way to remember.

One Year Closer to Death

Good ol' State Farm! Every year a couple of months before my birthday, they send me this sweet birthday card reminding me that I really should buy some life insurance because I could kick the bucket any day now.

Minor Update

I've made it to day 4 of the digital minimalism challenge! This isn't the farthest I've made it in the past, but I figure if I publicly report in somehow, I'll be more likely to stay on track!

Not a Digital Minimalist

Ugh....

Guys, I'm not a digital minimalist.

To recap, I tried to do a 30 day fast from all optional technologies. It... hasn't gone well. I've messed up and restarted about a bazillion times over the last month. It's pretty ridiculous, actually. But I'm just more attached to technology than I ever realized!

But here I am, trying again... another day 1 I suppose. I think part of what I need to do is set clearer parameters. Sometimes in the modern world, you have to access optional technologies, and right now it's fuzzy for me when I'm doing something reasonable, and when I've broken the fast and need to start over.

Also, I probably need to allow myself some little slip-ups. Part of what's happening is I'll mess up just a little bit, go out of habit to a website and spend a few minutes there or something. Then instead of just getting off and resolving harder to stay away, I'll decide the day is already moot so I might as well visit my other favorite websites. 😅

Okay, so here's some basic rules/steps for success:

1. StayFocusd--This gem of an add-on blocks you from accessing your list of banned websites during certain hours of the day. I have it set up to run with my work hours, 8 am to 6 pm (I don't work quite that long, but typically somewhere within that window).

Issues with this: for starters, I need to extend the hours it runs to go beyond my work day to protect my evenings too. I need to run the nuclear option more often--when you turn it on (and you can turn it on anytime for as long as you like) all websites on your banned list are blocked. If you try to go there, you get an animation of a screaming man saying, "Shouldn't you be working?"

Also, I need to limit how many minutes I'm allowed to access those sites per day. Right now it's set to a generous hour--you can't set it to 0 minutes, but I'll bump it down to 10.

Then, even if I slip up and visit a website I shouldn't, I'll be blocked! ...As long as I'm on my computer. You have to pay to use the phone app version of StayFocusd (called Freedom).  Freedom will even block app usage, but I don't want to pay the monthly subscription fee to use it. I'll just have to be disciplined about not accessing the internet on my phone.

2. Acceptable visits to banned sites--sometimes I have legitimate reasons to visit a website. As long as it's a quick visit, I think it can be permissible:

• Pinterest--I can't surf it, but I can come here to access a recipe or look at a particular pin I have saved. I use this as a storage place for my links, and there are times I need to access one for a perfectly good reason like making dinner or doing some car maintenance.
• Goodreads--I can record my reading to keep that accurate, and I can spend a little bit of time here looking for new books to read. No mindless surfing--I've caught myself doing that a lot recently since it's one of the few social media sites I didn't ban.
• Facebook--I can visit for a specific, quick purpose, like posting something for work, checking someone's birthday, reviewing a post in the Relief Society group. I had Trevor change my password, so I can only get on when he's with me--he can help me stay on track. It's hard for me to resist looking at my notifications while I'm in there. Fine, take a quick quick look if I must--but can't spend more than 5 minutes on Facebook ever, and definitely can't scroll around my newsfeed. If at all possible, I need to navigate directly to the page I need (HRC page, or RS group page) rather than the newsfeed.
• Facebook messenger--it's still okay to communicate with people here and through texting. But, I need to be careful not to overly rely on this. And I need to be mindful that I don't neglect the people in front of me in favor of messages on my phone.
• News sites--Can't spend hours reading the stories like I used to be guilty of. But I can check in briefly when something big has happened. Like, it's okay to read an article or two about the Democratic debate the day after. It's fine that, when I heard about the 2 shootings last week, I  went to read about what happened. Again, the key is to go with a purpose, and keep the visit brief.
• Surfing the web--mindless surfing is a no. But some searches are helpful and necessary and therefore allowed. Intent is the key.
• Blogger--I still think it's okay for me to write blog posts, and read people's posts. I just can't spend time mindlessly surfing here just because it's a site I'm allowing myself to access.

3. Handling slip-ups--StayFocusd helps a lot with these, but not on my phone. If out of habit I access something (or in a moment of weakness, I pull something up) I don't have to completely restart the 30 days, as long as I catch myself and stop pretty quickly.

No Good Very Bad Day

Hi friend. How has your weekend been so far? I hope that you are having a great one.

Mine is... not off to a great start. Warning, this is definitely a vent about a (gross!) crazy day!

The Denver temple is closed for 3 months for some renovations (July-October). Trevor and I set a goal to drive up to the Fort Collins temple at least once a month in the meantime. We didn't hit that goal last month because first I got sick and then he caught it. But we were excited to set out today.

The problems started early on. Last night, I checked the temple schedule to figure out which endowment session to go to. Fort Collins is 2 hours away, so we needed to time things right. I could swear there was a 1:30 session. That's what we planned on. We got out the door at 11:15... I called the temple to verify the schedule, and it turned out... there isn't a 1:30 session. There is a 1:00 session that we now had no chance of making. The next session wouldn't be until 3. No problem, Trevor said. We could do other things before the 3:00 endowment session.

So we kept going on our merry way. Trevor drove, and I read to him from the Primary manual (the little kids' Sunday School curriculum) so we could plan our lesson for tomorrow. We made it to Denver, our halfway point. I'm not usually one to get motion sick, but I was getting a bit carsick. I ignored it because it wasn't that bad, and it was important we get our lesson done.

Then... WHAM. All of a sudden, things got unbearably bad. I stopped reading and tried to will myself to get better. I'm not going to get sick... I'm not going to get sick... Yeah, positive thinking didn't work. I told Trevor, "Uh.... I might need you to pull over." "Why?" "I might... throw up." He had time to say, "You think you're going to throw up?" and then I delivered on my promise. Yuck.

A couple positives... there wasn't that much (thank you, light breakfast!) and I didn't get any on Trevor's car. I protected the car and just threw up all over myself. Awesome.

It took Trevor a little while to get off the highway and find a gas station... I tried to sponge myself off with the paper towels out by the window cleaning stuff. Then I swallowed my pride and endured the humbling experience of walking into the gas station in a black dress covered in sick. I cleaned myself off as best as I could in the bathroom, but... yeah. No way was I in any shape to go into the temple. Fortunately Trevor had some old work clothes in the back of his car that I changed into.

Do I look manly and tough?

I wanted to give up and go home, or at least have Trevor drop me off while he went without me. But Trevor knew how much I'd looked forward to this trip.... so, somehow he talked me into shopping for a new dress and continuing on our way. We found a little shopping center with a Marshall's, an Old Navy, and a Nordstrom Rack.

In our faith, we wear modest clothes--and we define that as covering our shoulders, covering our chest, and at least knee length. It is SO HARD to find a dress that meets those criteria, and I only had 30 minutes! I struck out at Marshall's and Old Navy only had sleeveless sun dresses. I charged in Nordstrom Rack determined to find something in 10 minutes to less. It took some work, but I finally settled on a dress that I liked. It had sleeves, it went past my knees. I left the dressing room to show Trevor and he liked it too, so we were off (with a quick stop at McDonald's to get Trevor lunch, and to give me a chance to change in the bathroom).

We made it to the temple with 8 minutes to spare. As we were frantically dashing in, I discovered something about my new dress. Sure, it looked fine when I stood still and looked in the mirror (or stood still and showed Trevor). But... when I was walking, it quickly became apparent that I'd missed a minor detail.... It has a slit in the front that goes up mid-thigh. GAHH! We wear sacred garments under our clothes that go down to our knees, and mine was just hanging out, flapping in the wind for all to see. Turns out white stands out A LOT against dark green. 😕 I just kind of held my temple bag in front of it awkwardly as we went in. Inside the temple, we change into all white, so I was okay once I got into my temple dress. After our session, when I got back into my regular dress, I attempted to pin the slit closed. It didn't work. I'm not great with pins.

Also on my way out, I got lost!! It's not that big of a temple, I'm not really sure how it happened. I made one wrong turn and got completely disoriented. Fortunately one of the sweet temple workers noticed I was wandering in circles and pointed me in the direction of the door. 😖

Oh well. The endowment session itself was a good experience.... hopefully our next trip to Fort Collins goes better.

7 Years with HRC

I was hired by Healthy Relationships California on July 12, 2012.

That means I've been with my company for seven years!! That's longer than I was at BYU for both degrees. I remember when I first joined the company, it seemed like everyone else had been there for years and years. I felt like such a newbie.... which I was, of course.

Over the past 7 years, I've learned so much from my time with HRC. I'd like to think I'm a lot more professional than the new grad they decided they could train up. :) I've been part of a Healthy Marriage grant, a Responsible Fatherhood grant, and a contract for psychosocial education courses in the San Diego County jails. I've written up research reports and government reports. I've written for blogs and newsletters, and who can forget the years I spent responsible for updating the Facebook and Twitter pages every morning? I've learned to negotiate with workbook companies and keep track of inventories. I've updated our websites and monitored our incoming traffic. And I've worked with so many inspirational, talented people. All of this while working from home and almost never in an office setting!

Sometimes I've ventured outside my home. I've had business trips to California, first bimonthly and now more like biannually (which has worked out nice, now that I have a little family I hate to leave behind). I've gone to government conferences in DC (last time with a tour of national monuments with my bosses) and an excellent National Association of Relationship and Marriage Education conference in Anaheim (with an evening trip to Disneyland with my coworkers). I've met some of my heroes from my grad school studies, because my bosses seem to know everyone in the field.

I'm so grateful for my time with this company. When I was little and you asked me what I'd be when I grew up, I didn't foresee a career in family research. But it is such a good fit for me. I'm glad life has worked out the way it has.