Working at the Car Wash

I don't understand what is in the air here that gets cars so dirty, but after sitting in the parking lot for two weeks, my car looked like someone had dipped it into a mud puddle. Clearly it was time to take action. I drove over to my friendly neighborhood car wash, only to discover that... there was a giant rope blocking off the driveway, and it was completely abandoned.

No matter. I managed to find a new place. $1.75 for a wash seemed pretty reasonable. I grabbed my quarters and ran to get started. Just after I put my money in, I realized... I'd left my keys in the car. Did I lock the door? I ALWAYS lock the door. Did I seriously just lock myself out of my car at the CAR WASH? I take one step to go check, and water starts spraying out of the wand thing on the wall. Okay, forget it. I might not be able to get back in my car, but at least I can make it look good.

Considering I'd never tried a pay-self car wash before (I'm usually a fan of parking in the driveway and using a hose), I did pretty well with the prewash and the soap phases. Then I get to this phase called "foam brush." I think that I am just supposed to take the brush and use it on the soap already on the car... I don't realize that it is shooting out a thick pink foam spray. So when the car wash beeps for more money, I put the brush down to go feed the machine more quarters. When I turn around, there is a foot high pile of pink fluff on the concrete. THAT isn't good. I switch to the rinse cycle, and start by spraying down the foam mess-which results in the foam mess exploding all over the wall. It looks like a cotton candy machine just blew up. But oh well, because I have two minutes left and my car is coated in this stuff.

At this point, a nice older gentleman comes to see "How are you doing, honey?" It's not until he straightens the foam brush I threw haphazardly into its case that I realize he must own this place. Suddenly I am grateful he didn't come by a minute ago before I semi-destroyed the evidence of my waste of soap. I take a deep breath, attempt to look like I know what I am doing, and finish rinsing the car.

Now for the moment of truth. I approach the driver's side door, grasp the handle, and... it OPENS! For once in my life, I didn't lock it when I got out! One last deep breath, and I'm in the car and on my way.

Maybe next week I'll get this car washing thing down...