Unicorn Ponytail Haircut

It's been a long time since I've had a haircut! I heard a protip recently (long after baby was born) that moms should get a haircut in the third trimester because they definitely won't have time once baby is here. I didn't do that, and with the quarantine who knows when I can get back in. So I found myself watching YouTube videos on cutting my own hair. 

I decided to try the unicorn ponytail method. Basically you gather all your hair up into a ponytail on your forehead, and when you chop it, you end up with long layers in the back and short layers in the front. 

I chopped just a couple inches off to start. Trevor walked in after I finished... and admitted it didn't look any different than it had before. He helped me snip it again for round 2. I was nervous when I took the ponytail out. Would it look awesome, or would I be a YouTube fail? 

The answer is... neither. It's just as long as before. Some of my layers might be shorter maybe?? I look at the hair in my trash can and my reflection in the mirror, and I just don't get it. I thought I was chopping off a lot. But my hair did have layers already so... maybe that threw off the ponytail thing. 

I think I'm going back to YouTube to figure out how to lose more length. 

Our Birth Story

The Basics

Baby Luke, born January 11, 2020 at 9:59 pm. 5 lbs, 12.4 oz, 19" long.

A Little More
First realized I was having contractions around noon. Made it to the hospital at 2:45 pm. Water broke at 4 pm, ready to push by 8, baby born at 9:59 pm.

The Full Story

I'm pretty sure I went into labor the night of January 10, but I didn't realize that was what was happening. I was in a lot of pain, enough so that I couldn't sleep, but I didn't feel any stomach tightening or back pain like I was expecting, just lots of pelvic pain. Baby had dropped the day I hit 35 weeks, and ever since it felt like I was walking around with a bowling ball between my legs--so pelvic pain was nothing new, and I didn't think too much about it.

But as I toddled around Saturday morning, the pain was so much worse than what I was used to that I started to wonder. Could contractions come just as pelvic pain? Around noon I decided to pull up my contraction counter app and measure how often the pain was coming. I couldn't tell if it was coming as a pattern, or just popping up based on how I was moving around. The app showed me that the pains were coming about 8 minutes apart consistently. I started to consider that these could be contractions... but I wanted baby to come so badly, I wondered if I was just making it up.

Until the contractions kicked up a notch and became more painful than I'd experienced all pregnancy. Suddenly I was confident that they were real. In our birthing class, they told us to go to the hospital once we had contractions coming 5 minutes apart that lasted one minute each for a solid hour. By 2:30 or so the contractions were coming 3-4 minutes apart. That had only been the case for about 20 minutes when I gave the hospital a call to see what they advised. Since I thought I might be leaking amniotic fluid too, they told us to come on in.

By then the contractions were hurting more than anything I'd ever felt in my life. The hospital doesn't admit you until you've progressed a certain amount. At my last doctor's appointment I'd been dilated to only 1 cm. At the hospital... I was only dilated to 2 cm. After all that pain! I couldn't be admitted. It was 3:40 by then. The nurse told me they weren't kicking me out. She wanted me to go walk around the halls for an hour, and she would check me again. She said she had a feeling I was very close to real labor. She gave me the world's biggest pad to wear before she sent me on my way, just in case my water broke. And off I went, terrified to face an hour's worth of contractions (20 if they were coming 3 minutes apart!) on my own. Trevor and I moved slowly around the maternity wing. Finally we ended up at the hospital's atrium garden, a beautiful space with art installations designed to look like plants. There's this gorgeous tree in there with pink blossoms all over it. It looks so serene. I limped over underneath it and tried to use visualization to block out the pain... and then I got hit with the worst contraction of all, followed by a huge gush as my water broke. (Right exactly at 4 pm on the dot!) This was great news! You are automatically admitted once your water breaks, so after that they sent me off to labor and delivery even though I was still dilated to a 3.

Next time around I need to do a better job of practicing my pain management. By now I was in so much agony none of the skills I'd prepared did me any good. I'd submitted a birth plan to the hospital requesting an epidural. I thought I'd have to ask for it when I wanted it, but they'd already sent for the anesthesiologist by the time they got me into my room. Unfortunately, the nurse let me know he was helping with a c-section, and they weren't sure when he would be available. So, she offered to give me pain meds in an IV while I waited. She went off to get them, and then instead came back with the anesthesiologist after all! She caught him right before he went into the c-section. I was so grateful. It took a little bit for the epidural to kick in. At first the pain just lessened, but then I went so numb I couldn't tell when contractions were happening at all.

By 5:50, I had dilated to a 6! The nurse told me I was making great progress. She said they usually didn't see so many contractions without pitocin, the drug they use to induce labor. I've heard that pitocin contractions are especially painful because they come so close together, so, maybe that's why I had such a hard time before the epidural? The nurse thought I'd be ready to push soon. It took a bit longer than she predicted, but at 8 pm, they told me it was time to push. By then there had been a shift change, so I had a nurse in training and her trainer both attending to me. The epidural had numbed me a bit too much so it was hard to feel my contractions or to know if I was succeeding in pushing. If I really focused, I could feel a bit of pressure when the contractions came, but it was faint. The nurses really had to coach me on what to do. They warned me beforehand that with first time moms, it takes an average of 2 hours to push. I hit that pretty much on the nose. It wasn't until 9:59 pm that baby boy finally made his debut.

And there he was. After so many months of waiting and daydreaming, he was actually there in my arms. I recognized his cute little nose from his ultrasound pictures. :) He was so sweet and tiny and cute... Only 5 lbs 12.4 oz. Right away he seemed so alert, looking all around him and trying to figure out what was going on. My dad came by a couple hours later and took a great video of this--I'll have to share it when I get a copy.

There's really no words for that magical moment when Trevor and I were officially parents with babe in arms, and especially none that don't sound very cheesy. Knowing that ahead of us we'll get to watch this little baby through all stages of growing up, and maybe even through his own parenting years into the grandparent stage... Thinking of my own relationship with my parents and how they are some of my best friends, and hoping for that with him too. I'm so excited for everything that we are experiencing now and everything that is ahead!

My birth story ended on a slightly dramatic note. We stayed in labor and delivery until midnight, when we were officially scheduled to be moved to the mother/baby wing of the hospital. My parents came by to bring me some food to eat (I wasn't allowed to eat during labor after I was admitted at the hospital).  The nurses arrived to take me to my new room. And... that's when things went a bit south. When they helped me out of bed, I started shivering violently and uncontrollably. They told me that was normal and just adrenaline leaving my body, but I felt like I was freezing to death. All of a sudden I was extremely thirsty and on the brink of passing out. They rushed me to my new room, and for me everything is a blur for a few hours after that... but basically I'd caught an infection, and I came down with an epic fever. The nurses measured it at 108 degrees. Yes, I know, 108 degrees means I should be dead or at least brain damaged, so hopefully that was just an equipment failure. After that first measurement, they tried measuring me a different way and got a temperature of 108.8. I don't know if  that was really accurate, but as you can imagine, my medical team went nuts. My heart rate was sky rocketing and things looked very scary for a little while. Worst of all, I couldn't cuddle my baby or feed him while they tried to get me treated. Trevor took good care of him, fortunately. And obviously it all turned out okay. The fever broke, they put me on an IV dip of antibiotics and all was well. I just wish I understood better why that happened and if it will happen again next time.

Anyway, now we are all home and happy. Tomorrow a baby photographer is coming by to get some shots, so hopefully I will have those to share soon. Baby boy is very sleepy most of the time. My favorite moments are when he is alert and looking around at everything--everything is new and exciting to him! He is still so very little. Babies lose weight for a bit after birth, and he's down to 5 lbs 5 oz. Even his newborn sized clothes drown him. But everyone assures me he'll grow faster than I can imagine.

What happens next?

Well, today is an exciting day I guess.

I went in for my 38 week check-up, and my doctor surprised me by offering to stretch my cervix and sweep my membranes. Doctors do that sometimes as a way of inducing labor without requiring drugs. It doesn't always work--my doctor said not to go home counting on going into labor. She says if the baby is ready, it might speed things up, and if not, it won't. I decided to give it a try... hopefully that was the right call! I only knew a little bit about it and I wasn't expecting her to offer to do it this soon. Now I've been home frantically researching. The jury is out on whether it works or not. One website compared it to shaking a tree--if apples are ripe, they fall out, and if they aren't ready, they don't.

So now I am waiting to see what happens. Hopefully baby won't be forced out if he isn't ready. People report such different experiences, I don't know what to expect. Could experience nothing, could have a higher chance of labor in the next 48 hours or even in the next week. Some people wrote they started having contractions two hours after the sweep. Mine was at 4:15 and we're almost to two hours without any contractions, just lots and lots of baby movement. I don't think he liked being poked!

In the midst of my Googling, I heard that Iran has shot 12 missiles at two of our military bases in Iraq. This was of course in retaliation for the death of Soleimani. Trump said if they tried to retaliate against us, he had missiles locked and loaded at 52 sites across Iran, ready to respond. So besides anxiously waiting to see if baby appears, I'm also anxiously waiting to see what the president decides to do. It feels like we're awfully close to the brink of war to me... But I'm no expert and the president is somewhat unpredictable, so really all I can do is wait and see what happens.

Two big "wait and sees" within such a short time. Yeesh.

Word of the Year: Motherhood

This year's Word of The Year is simple and sweet: Motherhood.

That is the new adventure I'm about to embark on, and I'm sure it will be my main focus this year. Here's hoping I can figure things out and follow in the footsteps of my mom and all the wonderful mother figures in my life!

Waiting for Baby

Oh man. Everyone warned me that the last month of pregnancy drags. They said it gets to a point where you are so uncomfortable that you just want the baby to come out--nature's way of making you willing to go through labor.

They weren't kidding!!! I am huge, achy, and grumpy. Sometimes I feel so so ready for baby to come. Other times I realize I don't fully understand what I am getting into with newborn care and I don't feel so ready.`But more often than not, I'm a little disappointed when another day goes by with no baby.

There are so many reasons it would be better for baby to wait, anyway. That gives him more time to grow and develop inside me.

If I can make it until tomorrow (very likely!) we'll have better insurance coverage for his birth.
If I can make it until January 5, I'll get to go to my baby shower pre-baby!
If I can make it as long as possible past January 6, I'll go back to work after our holiday break and get more done before my maternity leave.

I just need to be patient. Baby will come when he's ready. No need to rush things before.

2019 In Review

Thinking back on 2019... It's been a very busy year! Here's a few of our highlights:

January
Since we spent Christmas with my family, we traveled out to Utah to visit with Trevor's family for New Year's. All of the Lukes (plus Misty, Tanner's girlfriend at the time) met up in St. George Utah. It's only about 2 hours away from Las Vegas, so I also had my first trip there to see a Cirque du Soleil show--Ka.

February
After some saving up and a lot of shopping on Craigslist/Facebook Marketplace, we found Trevor our family's first piano! It was so exciting to set it up in our front room. That guy needs a piano like a fish needs water.

March
One of the biggest snow storms of the year! Unfortunately there was still a lot more to come, including a big storm after Mother's Day and a big storm in early October.

April
In April we went back to Utah to celebrate Tanner and Misty's wedding! They were married in the Mount Timpanogos temple, which is the temple closest to all my Bellon family members in Alpine, so we were able to sneak in a quick visit with my Grandpa Bellon too.

The wedding and reception were beautiful. Grateful to have Misty in our family now!

We also got to catch up with my awesome friend/old roommate Melissa and her husband Weston. :)

May
The day after Mother's Day, we found out I was pregnant!! Definitely one of my happiest days. I wrapped up the pregnancy test and took it over to my parents' house--I told Mom it was a Mother's Day present I'd forgotten to give her. :) All of my sisters were there when I came over, so my whole family found out at the same time (I called Jason so he wouldn't be left out). Since this is the first McAllister grandchild, there was much rejoicing.

Also in May, Trevor got his first pair of glasses! I think they make him look like Clark Kent. :)

And, we also celebrated Trevor's birthday! :)

June
We met up with Eric in Morrison and enjoyed dinner at the Fort restaurant. Very pretty area, Trevor wants to consider it as a retirement place.

This was also our last month as temple workers. :( We'd been working the Saturday afternoon shift every other week. Our temple was closed for three months for renovations and cleaning, and by the time it opened up, I was having issues with my pregnancy to the point that we had to stop serving.

July
We drove up to Island Park Idaho to celebrate the 4th of July with the Lukes. Everyone was able to make it! Highlights of the trip included a visit to Yellowstone and my very first time fishing.

August

In August, for a precious few days my entire family was together for the first time since our wedding! We all drove up to Granby Colorado and rented a cabin for a mini vacation. The highlight of the trip was definitely renting a boat to jet around Lake Granby!

At the end of August, I flew out to Washington DC for the biannual Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood grantee conference. We're down to one last year on our current grant and then it'll be time for a new project. Anxious to see how that shakes out.

National Harbor, Maryland where our hotel was

September

In September, it was time for our big gender reveal.... Baby is a BOY!

We would have been happy either way of course. :) It was so exciting to find out we're having a little boy--he seemed that much more real.

October

October was another big month. We started off with a trip to Italy with the Lukes. First we spent a few days in Rome with Trevor's sisters Heather and Amber and Amber's husband Doug. Then we met up with Eric and Kathy to go to the Tuscany/Orvieto area and tour some of the towns there.

Then, since we'd flown all the way to Europe anyways, Trevor and I stayed by ourselves for a few more days to explore Venice and Paris as a sort of babymoon.

Once we got home, it was time for our stake's youth conference. This year we were in charge of putting it together. Brad Wilcox was the keynote speaker. I think it was a great success.

Unfortunately after a very busy month, I ended up in the hospital with an early labor scare and got put on bed rest for a couple days. Everything turned out okay though, and I learned that I have to take it a bit slower while I'm pregnant.

At the end of the month, we celebrated my 32nd birthday. :)

 Oh yes, and I was a cow for Halloween, because I wanted to incorporate the baby bump somehow (man, that baby bump looks so small to me now!)

November

So after all that, we took November much much slower. We'd both caught some sickness in Europe that kept us down for a few weeks. But we did enjoy a lovely Thanksgiving here in Colorado with my family. Jason flew out from Utah and Granny came to celebrate with us too.

December

The further I've gotten in my third trimester, the more I've slowed down! This month we took a birthing class at the local hospital to prepare us for the big day. I'm so glad we did--I didn't realize how little I understood about childbirth before the class. We've also done our best to get the nursery set up for little one.

We were going to drive out to Utah to spend Christmas with the Lukes, but I was too achy and sore to make the 9 hour drive. Instead we stayed here and celebrated with my family--we'll spend the next 2 Christmases with the Lukes to make up for it.

Trevor still got to see his family for a little bit, though. They'd hired a professional photographer to take some family photos and they asked him to fly out for the photo shoot.

Now here we are, waiting anxiously for the arrival of Baby Luke any day now... Tomorrow I will be 37 weeks (full term), so my doctor told me I have permission to go into labor at any time and they won't stop me. :) Could be days or weeks--I wish I knew, but I'm trying my best to be patient!

Here's to all the new adventures we'll have in 2020!

Released and Baby Thoughts

Yesterday Trevor and I were released from our calling as teachers of the 7-8 year old primary class.

I'm usually sad when I get released and this time was no different. I love those little kids in our class and I've loved teaching them this year. It was great too to co-teach with Trevor and work side by side on our lessons. I feel like I learned so much from my time in primary, hopefully lessons I can apply when little guy is born.

That is why we were released. I requested it, actually, for the first time in my life, because I figured Primary wasn't the best place to bring a little newborn--so many cute kids there but also so many germs! I guess it's back to the adult class for me now. Gosh... I haven't really been in the adult class since my singles' ward days. Everything has changed since then! It'll be interesting to see how Come Follow Me works for adults.

I am so excited for the baby to come. A few weeks back, I had a goofy dream that he was born, and we were so so happy. And then we realized that my hospital bed was actually in a horse stall in a stable, and that my doctor had tricked me into giving birth in a stable like the Christmas story. :) Before that, the dream was awesome! I was disappointed when I woke up and realized how long it would be before I could hold baby in my arms.

Other times I get a little panicked, though. We still don't have a lot of baby things--no nursery set up, and lots to do to get ready. I need to get a move on that.  I managed to buy some essential baby items on black Friday, so we should have the basics at least, and one of the wonderful sisters in my ward gave me a lot of her baby stuff so we are at least somewhat prepared.

I found us a ridiculously cheap newborn photographer who will come to our house to take some pictures (I'm a fan of studio pictures, but Trevor isn't). Her example photos all seem to feature adorable nurseries that are perfectly decorated. My goal is to have something cute set up before she comes (and ideally before baby is here!)

Right now we are taking a birthing class. So far we've only had 1 session, but in that session I was amazed how much I learned about exactly how my body works and what labor is going to look like. This week our class is taking a tour of the birth center at the hospital--I have a feeling that will make things a lot more real. On Friday I'm also heading to the hospital to get pre-registered for baby's big day.

To sum up: I simultaneously cannot wait for baby to arrive, and am terrified thinking of everything I need to get ready by then. But mostly I am excited to meet him and see what he looks like. I'm curious to learn his personality. I hope I can be a good parent to him like my parents were to me.